Merlin - The Return of Arthur
by Clementine Fraser
Summary: It is 2016 and magic has returned, bringing with it the long awaited return of the Once and Future King. Merlin and Arthur must fight the forces that seek to divide and destroy the world and bring about the long foretold Albion. Merlin's love for Morgana seems to have a second chance in this new age.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

Part One - the awakening

The first thing he noticed that morning was that there was no pain. He blinked once or twice, trying to decide if he was still sleeping. Finger and knee joints weren't screaming for attention as they normally did and his back felt nothing but the comfortable firmness of his bed. Comfortable. Now that wasn't a word he'd used much in the last 500 years or more. Experimentally he stretched out his arms. A vigorous energy shot through his body. His heart leapt as the blood pulsed through more strongly than it had in recent memory and he felt the magic curl around his hand, as if it was a kitten seeking to be stroked. "Forbearnan" he murmured, and then jumped out of bed as the fire leaped high. "No! Bugger! Um, ācwencan!"

The fire vanished replaced by the smell of burnt wool. He screwed up his nose and turned to look about the room, nearly knocking the lampshade with his head. That was strange. He flexed his straightened shoulders, relishing the fact that he was no longer stooped over. He took a dazed look at the smoking carpet, realising he wasn't squinting. With an oath he stumbled backwards; no long grey beard, no wrinkled skin. Both hands went to his face and felt a short stubbly beard the likes of which he hadn't worn for centuries. Strong muscles and youthful though trembling hands forced his gaze to the mirror by the bed. A face he hadn't seen in a very long time looked back at him. His heart skipped a beat.

"Well. That's unexpected."

A knock at the door dragged his face away from the mirror. He pulled his pyjama pants up on much narrower hips and pulled the drawstring tighter. The knocking got louder. "Yeah, alright I'm coming!"

The knocking was pounding the door by the time he got to the door and pulled it open, the safety chain catching. Gwaine's familiar shock of hair framing his worried eyes appeared through the narrow crack. Those eyes quickly widened and his friend's jaw dropped. "Merlin!"

"Yeah, I know. Surprise. Come in" He unhooked the chain and stepped back, running a hand through much shorter hair.

Gwaine edged in through the doorway.

"Bloody hell, mate, I mean it's certainly an improvement but what's going on?" his friend wrinkled his nose. "and what is that smell?"

"Carpet. Burning. Well, it's out now so I guess you could say charred." He forced himself to stop babbling as Gwaine's face screwed up in more confusion.

"Magic, Gwaine. That's what's happening. But I'm not sure why".

"I don't understand"

"Join the club" he muttered, turning away. This was too much to focus on this early in the morning, despite the energy racing through him. Tea would help.

It was a bit unnerving, the way Gwaine stared at him while he made the tea. He couldn't blame him though; he kept stealing glances at his own reflection in the window.

"So, Merlin, any thoughts on why a thousand year old man suddenly looks 33? Sure you weren't mucking around with youth spells or something?"

"Don't be stupid, I haven't done that since 1915"

Gwaine straightened abruptly from where he'd been leaning on the sink bench. "What? I was just joking. Have you done this before?"

A sigh escaped him. "Long story Gwaine. But this isn't like that. I don't feel like I've put on a coat of youth, I _feel_ young." He grinned, feeling his cheek muscles awkward with lack of use. "It's an extraordinary feeling"

"Must be great if you're smiling. It's good to see by the way, you don't do it enough".

"There's not usually lots to smile about."

The fragrance of the tea rose with the steam. Funny how tea was calming even when he actually preferred coffee.

They sat at the small kitchen table on chairs that he noticed now were slightly rickety. It was if he was seeing everything not just through young eyes but new ones. As if he'd woken up.

Shaking his head on that thought, and the thoughts it triggered he wrapped his hands around the warm cup and looked at Gwaine under his brows. The former knight, now a barman in the local pub, was still frowning but his eyes looked happy and as their eyes caught he threw his head back and laughed. "Sorry mate, but just thinking this will really throw a spanner in the works won't it? Can't you just see Professor Emrys turning up to work on Monday looking like that?"

He groaned. Work. He hadn't even thought about it. He had a seminar to give soon too. Well, it would have to wait. There was no way he was aging himself again - the vitality of youth was too addictive. Anyway, there were more important things to think about.

Feeling his chest constrict he took a deep breath. "Gwaine. I think the magic is returning"

"What do you mean "returning", hasn't it always been there? You've certainly used it before, as I know"

"Yeah, it's been here, but it's faded over the centuries, especially since the age of iron and steel.' He raised his eyebrows at the blank face turned towards his. "The Industrial Revolution, Gwaine. What do they teach you in schools nowadays?"

"Ah, there's the grumpy old man I know and love"

He flicked his eyes, felt them change to gold, and the pepper pot flew across the table and would have hit Gwaine in the forehead had his friend not had such quick reflexes.

"What happened to magic not being used for games?"

The thrill of using his gift buzzed through him. "You better pay attention then." He leaned back in the chair and stretched out legs that seemed longer for not being so cramped with age. The lino was peeling, he noticed. "Magic has always been here, it comes from the earth and wraps around everyone; I can feel it like a hum beneath our feet. But the mystical beasts were mostly killed off during the inquisitions and those who escaped retreated to sleep." Visions of burnings shot across his memory, worse by far than anything Uther had done. He shoved those images to the back of his mind. "With the arrival of factories and steel and the growth of cities the earth that creates magic was wounded and there were too few of us with magic to stop it sleeping too."

Gwaine was nodding but he could tell his friend didn't really understand. "Look, all you really need to know is that magic never went away but it went…dormant I suppose is the best word. It still came to my call but others found it harder, at least, some of them did." 1918 played across his mind and he shifted in his seat. "The way the magic feels now is as if it's wide awake for the first time in a long time."

"So what woke it?"

He shrugged but froze half way through. Could it be now? He'd given up so long ago, despite the awakening of Gwaine a few years earlier, but it could certainly explain it. And the others he'd seen, or thought he'd seen. He felt an ache in his chest. Hope wasn't as great as everyone said.

Drawing his legs in and placing his cup gently on the table, wiping up the drips caused by his shaking fingers, he faced Gwaine.

"I'm in the wrong place. I need to go to Caerleon."

His friend's eyes widened but he didn't question, simply nodded slowly and stood. "Train or car?"

"Train. I need you to stay here. If I'm right" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat "If I'm right we'll have to assume that others have woken too, and they won't all be friends. We need to be ready"

"You want me to make contact?"

"Yes, primary parties only". He headed to the bedroom before wheeling back.

"Um, never thought I'd ask this but can I borrow some clothes?"

Gwaine laughed, his head thrown back. "What's the problem with yours? Old man styles not doing it for you anymore?"

"Shut up. Jeans and a sweatshirt - have you got some spare?"

"Sure thing, I'll go next door and grab them. Can you get me the book?"

"In the hall table."

Hands on hips, he watched Gwaine rummage through the drawer, hoist the precious little book high and then dash out the door. His heart was pumping a bit fast. He'd need to stop by the ATM too. Thank goodness for electronic banking where no one questioned your appearance.

Another image shot into his head, wavy black hair and green eyes. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Well, the next train to Wales wouldn't be going for a couple of hours. There'd be time to stop for a coffee on the off-chance she'd be there. Even if that was the stupidest thing he could do right now.

He turned away from his inner debate, knowing already which side had won, and looked out the kitchen window at the roofs of London, grey with morning mist. It was peaceful on the surface but he leaned on the metal counter, closed his eyes and felt the magic rising from the earth. Opening his eyes again he smiled, most of him still didn't believe it was time, there'd been so many disappointments over the years, but this, this feeling was nearly worth it.

#

He sat at the table wondering for the hundredth time what he was doing. The steaming hiss of the espresso machine scraped on his nerves and the chatter of the patrons, normally a sound he found relaxing, made him want to tell them all to shut it. He pushed his spoon around on the saucer. Why did they always give everyone biscotti? No-one ever ate it. The bell on the cafe door tinkled and he looked up. His breath caught when she walked in. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen; she always had been. He couldn't stop staring as she sat down at the table next to his, put her bag down and smiled at the waitress. When she caught him looking at her he tried to look away but couldn't. Those eyes. Green and murky like deepest emerald. He allowed himself the luxury of staring. She might be the physical reincarnation of the woman he remembered but he doubted that her smart navy suit hid a magic nearly as powerful as his own. A frown marred her perfect brow and she shifted a little in her seat, as if to move out of the line of his sight. He watched her for a moment more but she kept flicking her fierce eyes up to his and away, the frown deepening.

Finally she turned to face him. "Do I know you?"

He smiled at her, heart hurting inside him. "Now what makes you ask that?"

"Well I wondered, the way you were staring so rudely. But, now I look at you, your eyes…" a quick shake of her head, as if to dispel a thought. "You seem so familiar." Her smile seemed hesitant. "Are you sure we haven't met?"

His smile twisted. "If we had, I hope you'd remember"

The waitress walked between them, setting down a frothy coffee in front of the lady whose familiar face had drawn him the moment he'd seen her in passing the day before, going out of the cafe as he entered. He'd held the door for her and looking down into her face when she smiled her thanks he'd frozen until an older woman bustled past him and her shopping cart had hit him in the ankle. Her face had played in his mind until he found himself returning again today, not admitting to himself why but hoping none the less.

"Here you are Morgana love, and I'll bring out your eggs as soon as they're done"

He was grateful he'd finished his own coffee or he might have spat it across the table. Morgana. No. Coincidence surely.

She looked at him again, a breath taken in as if she was about to say something and then she shut her mouth and stirred the coffee. He watched as she put in three sugars. Morgana had always had a sweet tooth.

"You seem very interested in my coffee"

The lilting voice was the same also. This was completely insane. He had to leave. He shot up, knocking the table slightly as he grabbed his bag. "Sorry. I, um… Bye"

He threw a few quid onto the table as he stumbled away. The door opening onto the fresh morning air steadied him a bit but then he paused. His face tightened in a grimace. He knew it was stupidity itself but on a compulsion he looked back. Morgana was staring at him and there was something in her face that hadn't been there before. Recognition. He stood motionless a moment longer then flung himself out into the London streets.

The train station was close but he walked like an automaton, hardly noticing the people around him. He'd known, even yesterday. It was just denial that had stopped him realising. It always was.

Finally on the train he stared blindly out of the window. This could be bad. If she'd recognised him it meant that she might know who _she_ was. But then that didn't fit with the woman who'd smiled at an old man holding the door, a woman who had an easy, warm relationship with a waitress in a coffee bar. He crossed his arms across his chest, Gwaine's borrowed hoody pulled over his head. This was stupid. He should be hoping that she hadn't recognised him, that she didn't know, but the same old feelings surfaced. He didn't try to squash them; they'd hurt for so many years that he was used to the pain. Was it really that foolish? To hope that things could be different now? His mind, never the most obedient and now shooting fast on a wave of magic, cast an image of Morgana the first time he'd seen her, the first time he'd fallen for her. And then he saw her as she exulted over a fallen Arthur, before he'd thrust Arthur's sword into her heart. Foolish wasn't the word, more like hopeless.

He shoved his hand over his cheek, wiping away treacherous wetness. Well, he was used to disappointment, but as the magic swirled around the train and he caught sight of a flock of birds, flying in a shape that was suspiciously dragon-like, he thought ahead to what he was about to try and his mouth ran dry. What if it actually worked?

#

Her head was not in the right space for a meeting. She dashed off an email to cancel it and then sat back in her chair, inhaling the cool scent of the leather and biting the end of her pencil. She swivelled back and forth and tried to focus. The door snicked open and her associate's perfume wafted in.

"Morgana?"

"Yes, Gwen?"

The other woman closed the door softly behind her. "Are you okay? It isn't like you to cancel. Is something up?"

She tapped the pencil against her teeth a couple more times then tossed it on the desk, where it fell against her open planner.

"I had the weirdest thing happen this morning and I can't get my head straight. You know I told you about the nightmares?" her friend nodded and she leaned back further in her chair, arms crossed over her chest. "I did what you said and went to the therapist. It didn't help"

Gwen's mouth twisted. 'I'm sorry to hear that. Have they been very bad lately?"

"No more than usual. But here's the thing" she took a deep breath "I've seen one of the people from my dream. I saw him this morning in the cafe." Her eyes flicked up at the other woman and her lip curled. 'I know what you're thinking, I could have seen him any day and that's why he was in my dream or I could have mistaken him for someone in my dream. But I also know that neither of those are true."

She leaned forward, eyes intent on her friend's face - Gwen's brows were drawn down and her nails were in her mouth again in that awful habit she'd never break no matter how many times she was scolded at the salon. "There's no way I could be mistaken. I've dreamed about him since before I could remember dreaming. He looked different at first; he has a beard now and his hair is swept off his face. He looks stronger. But when he stood up and nearly knocked the table over I knew that I knew him. His eyes. I've seen them every night in my sleep. How is that possible?" She hadn't been able to control the tremble in her voice and she saw Gwen's hand flick up as if she'd offer comfort, but then it fell back at her side. She couldn't blame Gwen; her friend knew she had a thing about being touched. Although she would make an exception now.

Her voice felt raspy. "Am I going mad, Gwen?"

"No! No of course not. Don't be silly". She could feel Gwen's eyes on her although she couldn't make herself look up from the pencil she'd begun tapping on the desk again. "Did you talk to him?"

She laughed harshly. "I tried. He rushed off. But when I asked him if I knew him he didn't really answer yes or no, now I think about it."

The other woman came up and took the pencil away. 'Well, maybe he was just nervous being talked to by a gorgeous girl. What does he look like? Is he attractive? fit?"

Morgana paused. 'I guess so. Yes. I didn't really notice."

She took a breath. "You see, in my dreams, he kills me."

Gwen dropped the pencil. "What?"

She stretched her eyes wide trying to stop the tears she could feel burning behind her eyelids. "Sometimes it's poison, sometimes it's a sword. And I wake up terrified and betrayed, night after night."

When Gwen came around the desk to put her arms around her she didn't push her away. "Can you imagine what it's like, having to die every night in your dreams? The odd thing is that he holds me every time, he doesn't leave me. There's compassion there and that's unsettling too."

Gwen's hands stroking her hair felt so comfortable, so natural that she let herself relax into the sensation for a moment. After a second though she took a breath and pulled away, pasting a smile on her face. "Well, now you know why I cancelled the meeting".

Her friend said nothing but fetched her some water from the jug on the sideboard by the window. It was cool on her sore throat and she felt her breathing even out. She smiled her thanks at Gwen, who always seemed to know what to do to help. Her friend's face was set in serious lines and she raised a brow at her.

"Morgana, I need to tell you something, something that might help or might not but I think you need to know."

She placed the glass carefully on the desk, slowly building her armour up again. "Go on."

"There's a man I've seen around lately, mostly on the tube. There's something about him that makes me want to hurt him, and I never know why. He doesn't do anything, although I've caught him looking at me in a funny way - par for the course on the tube I guess. Anyway, the other night I dreamed about him - but he was a boy. It was so strange, but I knew this small boy was the same person as the man and I felt sorry for him but frightened at the same time. And there's another man who was in the dream. A blonde man, dressed like one of those medieval knights you see at those silly re-enactments in the park." Gwen's voice dropped. "I know it's just a dream but I'm sure I know him, and he makes my heart hurt".

She couldn't take her eyes off Gwen. A blonde knight. Like the other man in her dreams. The one _she_ killed. With a jolt, she knew in her bones she couldn't tell Gwen about that.

"Dreams, eh?" she tried smiling again but knew from the look on Gwen's face she hadn't been particularly successful. "At least I'm not the only one." On impulse, she reached out her hand and when Gwen's strong capable hand folded around hers she allowed herself to draw the comfort that she hardly ever sought.

It was as Gwen was leaving that she had the courage to ask the question uppermost in her mind. "Gwen. That man you see on the tube. What does he look like?"

Gwen paused and turned with her hand on the door frame. "Tallish, but not too tall. Dark hair. Pale. Intense eyes." She tried not to fidget as Gwen regarded her thoughtfully. "Clean shaven. No beard. Sounds like it's a different man".

She wasn't sure if it was relief or disappointment she felt, but, her armour fully in place, she smiled and said "No, I guess it couldn't be"

Once Gwen had closed the door behind her Morgana rose and walked to the window. The corner office had a beautiful view of the Guildhall nearby and normally she enjoyed watching the people pass by, but now she found herself looking at every man with a breathlessness that could be anticipation or fear. "Or both" she murmured and turned resolutely away. There was work to do.

#

Merlin stood on the shelly bank of the lake that only he saw. Every time his heart beat it felt as if it would pound out of his chest. His hand was shaking as he held it out towards the lake. Towards Avalon. 'Arthur. I think it's time. I've been waiting so long and there's been so many times I thought that it must be time. I mean, Hitler right? Time of Albion's greatest need? Turns out it wasn't. Things aren't great at the moment in England, what with the whole Brexit thing and Scotland breaking out of the UK and terrorism and threat of another Cold War, but I wouldn't have said it was our time of greatest need. But magic, Arthur, the magic has come back. It hasn't been this strong since you left." His voice caught on the last word and he cleared his throat. For god's sake, it had been over a thousand years, you'd think he would have got over the whole Arthur dying thing. His hand fell back to his side.

"I don't really know how to wake you, how to bring you back, but Kilgharrah said you'd return one day so I'm hoping that with magic returning another dragon can help. I haven't called a dragon since, well you know since you left, but there is one out there. Trouble is" he eyed the sky "I don't know if it can talk."

Licking his lips, trying to ignore how dry his mouth felt he cleared his throat again. It was ridiculous how self-conscious he felt. He looked down the road but even with his enhanced eyesight returning he couldn't see anyone. He shook his arms and loosened his neck. "Right then".

His head flung back and his eyes flicked gold. "O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!" The words boomed into the night and he felt the power flow through him, different from the magic that filled him from the earth, this was even more ancient, dredged up through his very bones. The power of a Dragonlord.

Silence filled the night. And it was a deep silence. The owls had hushed and even the wind seemed to still. Then he heard it and tears sprang to his eyes. The unmistakable thrum of a dragon's wings against velvety air. His cheeks split as he grinned through his tears. He'd been so lonely all these ages. He'd never thought to call the dragon and he wondered for the first time if that had been a mistake. What if it didn't remember him?

A shadow eclipsed the moon and then it took form. A glorious, white winged beast touched down in front of him. Its massive bulk still bore the scars of that long-ago torture, but it had learned to compensate and the damage did not eclipse its nobility. The large head bowed and stared at him. His breath stopped. There in the great eyes he read interest tempered with wariness. The dragon remembered him.

Merlin bowed. "Thank you, great dragon, Aithusa. It pleases me more than you can imagine that you deigned to heed my call".

Aithusa huffed in what could only be a laugh. "I've been waiting a long time for you to call me from my sleep little warlock"

He felt tension leave his shoulders. "You can speak!"

"Of course I can speak!"

"I am sorry, I did not mean offense." He bowed again, "I am happy to see that you are well."

"The magic, Dragonlord, it fills the earth once more. Is this your doing?"

He shook his head "no, sadly it isn't. Not on purpose anyway. But that's what I wanted to talk to you about." He wiped his palms on his jeans as uncertainty shot through him. The dragon had always been attached to Morgana. What if it didn't want to help awaken Arthur?

"Well then, Merlin, ask your questions and I will do my best to answer them"

"I think it's time, the time that Kilgharrah always spoke of. With this much magic filling the world surely there's enough to raise Arthur, but I have to admit I don't know how. I don't want to raise a shade, he needs to be whole to fulfil his destiny."

The dragon's great head lowered so it filled his vision.

'I cannot tell you how to waken the Pendragon, little Warlock, that is magic well beyond my ken. But it matters not. He is already risen and in this world."

Merlin's heart stopped. "No. No he can't be. I would know. I would feel it! You must be wrong"

Aithusa shook her great head slowly. "No, Dragonlord, I am not wrong. He is awakened. He was found yesterday morning on the banks of the lake, clad only in thin clothing and half dead from cold."

The world seemed to break around him. How could this possibly be? The dragon looked at him kindly. "You said you would know. Why, how else would your body have known to become young again? Something in you did know, you simply refused to let it in"

Merlin's hand ran through his hair, the trembling fingers catching on knots. Aithusa was right. He had known. He just hadn't believed. Hadn't dared believe. And he wasn't here when Arthur finally awoke. All those centuries of waiting and he wasn't here. His chest tight he looked up into the wise face. "Do you know where he was taken?"

"There is a nursing home in Caerleon and he is being cared for there. But, Merlin, beware of those who would stand in your way. Not everyone will rejoice to see the Once and Future King back in Albion and there will be many who will strive to take the magic for themselves."

He nodded, every fibre of his being wanting to be gone, to see Arthur. "Thank you Aithusa. May I call on you again? I will need advice and" his mouth turned up in a grin "there's really no-one else who understands what it's like to be magic in a world where such things are child's stories only."

The white dragon bent her head down until her face was inches away from Merlin's. She breathed out and Merlin felt stronger, calmer. "I will always come to your call, Dragonlord."

He was itching to leave but he stayed to watch the dragon take flight. Joy rose in him. Truly nothing could compare to the beauty of it. Hoisting his bag onto his shoulder he set off for town at a run.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Chapter Two - arthur awakened

Arthur let his gaze wander from the sterile white walls to the strange view out the window. He knew his name but that seemed to be all. He felt strongly that everything was wrong but when the nice healer in the odd blue uniform asked him why, he hadn't been able to tell her. Kelly, that was her name. It was on a badge on her tunic. He pushed himself off the bed and walked to the window, leaning on the thin metal frame. He wasn't supposed to walk around but that was absurd, he felt fine. He'd feel better if he had proper clothes on rather than these baggy leggings. He frowned. The scene outside his window continued to puzzle him. He felt as if the view was incorrect; sometimes if he closed his eyes he saw horses, men in armour, women carrying buckets of water.

Raised voices from the hall outside his room brought his head round.

"You can't just barge in there, you need clearance from matron!"

"Look, I already told you, I think I know him. Don't you want to find someone who does?"

"Even if you know him, it's unlikely that he'll know you. The poor man isn't in a fit state to see anyone"

"Okay, okay. Alright. You go find matron and I'll wait here'

Silence reigned for a moment.

'You'll wait here? Outside? Promise?"

"Of course! Cross my heart."

Silence and then rapid footsteps away. Arthur faced the door, his heart racing. Kelly had sounded very protective but there was something about that second voice that brought the odd pictures back again. Maybe he would know him.

The door opened and a tall gangly looking man about his own age stopped in the opening. His dark hair no longer fell over his forehead and his scrubby beard seemed to age him but as soon as Arthur looked in his eyes the world seemed to make sense. He knew this man. Knew him better than anyone. If only he could remember.

"Arthur?" The man's voice seemed to reach down deep inside and awaken something, but the knowledge stayed out of reach.

"Do I know you?" his voice sounded stern even to his own ears. He hadn't meant it to be so.

The man's face fell for a moment and then he smiled. "I'm getting that a lot lately. You might not remember but you will." A smile and a shrug put him oddly at ease. "There's no easy way to say this. So here goes: you are Arthur Pendragon, Once and Future King, and I'm, well, I'm Merlin"

"Merlin". Arthur's eyes widened as a crash of memory overtook him and then washed away again. "Damn it! I remember and yet I don't!"

The man, Merlin, took a step forward. "You are needed now my Lord. And you are needed awakened. I know this doesn't make sense to you but come with me and I promise it will". Arthur stared at the outstretched hand. Part of him knew it was insane to go with this man who seemed to be saying things that Kelly and Matron would shake their heads over, but another, deeper, part knew that there was no-one on earth who he trusted more than this tall lanky man with his hesitant smile and those eyes that he could swear he knew. He gripped the offered hand and then the world turned opaque and grey as Merlin's eyes shone gold and strange words came from his mouth. Matron and Kelly came running in but looked right through the two of them.

At the sight of the empty room the two women seemed to change. The kindly sweet look on Kelly's face hardened to an unpleasant scowl and Matron hissed between her teeth. "Fool! He was here and you let him out of our grasp! What will she say when we tell her?"

When Kelly spoke, Arthur was hard put to keep quiet. It was only Merlin's hand gripping his shoulder that kept his tongue between his teeth, for her voice was no longer the soft lilting country tones of a healer, it was cold and clipped. Military.

"It was the man who came. There was something strange about him. Nothing else could have persuaded me to leave my post. They will be long gone. Send out a search party but it is unlikely they will find anything."

Matron scowled but nodded and set off at a brisk pace. Kelly called after her, "And tell the men to remember to be discreet for god's sake. The last thing we need is street battles in Caerleon". She turned back to the room, hands clasped behind her back, eyes half shut and seeming to scan the air. "Where are you Arthur Pendragon? Where would your man take you? And who is he." A thought seemed to strike her and her eyes flew open. "No, it couldn't be. He is gone, long dead." She bit her lip though and, for the first time, worry seemed to line her brow. She took out a slim tablet and, touching it, held it to the side of her head. "My Lady. We may have a problem. Pendragon is gone… I know. Yes. I am aware. That is not all" a pause now then she closed her eyes. "My Lady, I believe Emrys has returned also"

Arthur felt Merlin's hand close tighter on his shoulder and glanced at him. Merlin's eyes were fixed on the healer and his jaw was set. Catching Arthur's eyes he mouthed 'let's go' and tugged him towards the door.

#

The shore of the lake was cold and the rain clouds were closing in fast. "Merlin, are you sure we couldn't do this somewhere else? Like in a nice warm room with some ale?"

Merlin quirked his eyebrows at him but didn't reply. Arthur dug his hands in the pockets of the soft trousers he was wearing. "Or at least find me some kind of cloak. It's freezing out here"

"Not back even two days and you're back to ordering me around. Just jump up and down a bit if you're cold!"

The other man didn't look annoyed at being ordered around. He looked happy. Which made just as much sense to Arthur as the pleased feeling that filled him at Merlin's snarky tones. He'd not understood half of what Merlin had tried to tell him on the walk down to the lake. Kings and battles and destinies jumbled in his thoughts, familiar but cloudy. Memories flitted past his eyes but rushed away before he could see them properly.

"What is it, exactly, that we are doing out here anyway?"

Merlin's profile seemed to still before his eyes slid up to meet Arthur's. "Magic, Arthur. I'm going to do magic"

Arthur's heart seemed to slow to a deep painful pulse. A memory surfaced.

" _I'm a sorcerer. I have magic. I use it for you, Arthur, only for you."_

The words settled like stone in his mind but it was the feelings that filled him. Betrayal. Hurt. Confusion. He hunched his shoulders against the cold and the pain and turned his face away, unwilling to look that memory in the eye just yet.

"Right then. Best you get on with it".

Merlin stayed motionless for a moment longer before nodding slowly and turning back to the signs he was scratching in the shelly sand of the lake shore. Arthur tried to keep his eyes out over the water, the sun glinting off the dappled waves forcing him to squint a little. When he darted a glance out of the corner of his eyes he saw Merlin smiling. Straightening his shoulders, he frowned at him.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just… It's been so long since I've done anything like this and to be able to do it in front of you, to not have to hide who I am, it's kind of cool."

"Cool? As in cold? I agree, it's freezing."

"No" Merlin laughed "it means, well, it means it pleases me."

His brows stayed furrowed. "I don't understand! Everything is so strange. Just, just get on with it".

He knew even without looking at him that Merlin had rolled his eyes but he didn't care.

Merlin stood and quirked his head on one side as he brushed sand off his blue trousers. "You don't like it, do you?"

"What, the cold or your slowness?"

"Not being in charge, having to let someone else know what to do."

He clenched his jaw. That had sunk a little too close to home. "Shut up Merlin. Are you about ready to do whatever you are going to do? My arms are literally going to fall off with cold"

"Yes sire, I'm ready." Their eyes met and Arthur felt his walls crumble a little

"Merlin."

"Yes, Arthur?"

He sighed. "You're right, I hate feeling lost. I want it to stop. I'm trusting you to help me and if it was anyone else I don't think I could but for some reason I can. But, magic, Merlin. It frightens me."

Merlin gripped his shoulder and the warmth of the other man's hand was startling through the thin fabric of the tunic the hospital had given him. "I know, Arthur. Heaven knows you've suffered enough at the hands of sorcerers. But magic can also be a joy and a blessing. You have to know I would never do anything to harm you"

"I know."

They looked at each other a moment longer before Merlin coughed and looked away. "Right, let's do it then"

Arthur stood tall and took his hands out of his pockets. He felt Merlin's hand spread over his heart and hoped the other man couldn't feel how fast it was racing. Strange words seemed to wrap around him as Merlin chanted and when he saw the flash of gold he knew that Merlin's eyes had changed colour again. In front of them now, rising from the symbols Merlin had drawn in the shore, there seemed to be a smoky haze. Images danced across it and Arthur strained forward, desperate to see. It was only Merlin's hand on his chest, holding him back with what seemed little effort, that kept him from throwing himself into the mist.

"Easy now Arthur, let it come to you." Merlin spoke in the strange language once more and the mist wound itself towards Arthur. He couldn't explain the urgency with which he was gripped, but the images flashed into his head and each time felt like a hammer blow. He felt his hand curl as if it gripped a sword, and his head flicked back high as if holding the weight of a crown. The smoky haze surrounded him now and in one breath it was inside him.

He fell to his knees. A lifetime of emotions and experiences drove into him. His father, long dead now but his face so clear, harsh in its scorn and soft in its pride. Knights, truer friends no man ever had, their laughter and loyalty surrounded him and then faded into darkness. A girl. More beautiful and glorious than the sunrise. Guinevere. His heart burst with the love he felt for her only to crush him with the sudden despairing knowledge that she, like his knights, like his father, was dead. Centuries dead if Merlin was to be believed. And then, like a rock, rose Merlin, striding through his memories. He was in all of them, Arthur realised. It was if the other man was bound inextricably to the very heart of him. He looked up through the haze at Merlin who was watching him somewhat pensively.

"Yes Arthur, we are two sides of the same coin. You were born of magic and I am magic itself. My destiny has always been to serve you - the Once and Future King"

With those words Arthur's back bowed under a bolt of energy that seemed to fill every inch of him. Just as suddenly it was gone and he found himself sprawled on the shore, head on his arms, heaving for breath.

Strong hands took his shoulders, helped him up.

"Who are you?" the voice in his ear was little more than a whisper but his own voice in reply was loud with the surety of his lineage.

"I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot."

At his words the sun seemed to shine brighter and the air rang with a clean sweet scent. It was if the world had been waiting for an answer and, receiving it, rejoiced.

Then, just as quickly, the moment passed. He looked at Merlin, whose face was split into a goofy lopsided grin.

Emotion flooded him. The last memory he had of Merlin was his friend's heartbroken face leaning over him as he was dying. He felt his knees weaken. Dying. He'd died. And now he lived.

"Arthur" Merlin's hand was firm on his shoulder, holding him up. "Arthur take your time, it's a lot to take in"

He looked at Merlin's face, older but still young, his solemn eyes and scruffy beard were different but it was definitely Merlin. All else might be gone but Merlin was still there. He reached out and dragged his friend close, feeling him tense for a second before returning his embrace.

"Merlin, I know I thanked you finally but I need to say it again. Thank you for all you did for me, for Camelot. And thank you for waiting all these years for me."

It was hard to let go, his friend was the most real thing he could grasp at the moment, but the hug was entering that awkward moment and he released him and stood back. He wasn't surprised to see tears in Merlin's eyes, he was having to blink his own back. "Hey, what did I tell you, no man is worth your tears"

Merlin laughed shakily. "Arthur. I lost you. After all those years trying to protect you, I lost you. And then I waited and now you're here and I seem to have something stuck in my eye."

"Ha! I know what you mean." Gwen's face flickered in his mind. "What happened to them Merlin, to Gwen, my knights?"

"Gwen led Camelot strongly and well. I checked in on her now and then but it was hard to stay, especially after Gaius died. I spent most of my time between Ealdor, with my mother, and Avalon. The knights, well, Sir Percival and Sir Leon were Gwen's most gallant and trustworthy knights, they kept the peace in Camelot for a long time. Gwaine, I'm sorry Arthur. He died before I could get to him. Morgana…"

His friend's voice petered off and a knife cut into his heart. It was stupid, knowing they were all dead already it shouldn't hurt so much that Gwaine had died but it did. "So Morgana ruined one last great thing before she died. You did a good deed for Camelot when you killed her Merlin. You brought peace at last".

Merlin looked away and half shrugged. Arthur felt his brows draw together. "No need to be modest Merlin, if Morgana had lived then not only I would have died but Camelot also."

Looking down at his feet Merlin shoved his hands in his pockets. "I know. I still wish I hadn't had to do it."

Arthur looked out at the lake, seeing instead of cool mist and peaceful water a sunny day and a rolling hill, he and Morgana as children, rolling down the hill laughing. Morgana inviting a shy shepherd's daughter to join them. "I too wish that, Merlin. But then things haven't turned out exactly as I planned all round"

He turned back and saw Merlin eyeing him.

"What is it?"

"I just wondered, do you remember being dead? I mean, your time in Avalon. Were you always sleeping?"

He laughed, taken aback. "What a question! No, I don't remember anything. I don't think so anyway". He looked out over the water again. "Peace. I remember peace."

Merlin smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

He smiled back.

"I'm still freezing, you know. Any chance of that warm tavern now?"

"Right this way your majesty!" hoisting a bag up on his shoulders Merlin motioned for Arthur to join him as he set off down the track back towards the village.

Despite what he'd said, the air was actually warmer now and the freshness of the morning was beginning to fade. He looked around at the landscape which was at once familiar and heartbreakingly unknown. The sounds of the village were getting closer and the happy thrum of the countryside filled his airs. This, this was his Albion. He would do everything in his power to protect it.

"Merlin. Merlin!"

The familiar head swung round, those mobile eyebrows raised in query.

"It's good to see you. Thank you".

The other man's smile lit up his face

"You're welcome. It's good to have you back".

#

Merlin pushed open the door of the cafe, smiling as he inhaled the welcome scent of breakfast. He waved at Sally, the waitress, before realising she wouldn't recognise the young man he now was for the cranky old professor she knew. 'Great, now she'll think I'm a creep' he muttered to himself as he pulled his trench coat off and hung it on one of the hooks near the door. He paused. He knew that green jacket. Darting a glance around the room he saw him; Lance had proved to be a valuable research assistant over the last year but he looked lost in the corner of the room, satchel on the table in front of him and frowning over the smartphone in his hand. His lip between his teeth Merlin shook his head. One thing at a time.

"Over there Arthur, the booth by the window's free". He touched Arthur's shoulder as if to direct him but really it was just to feel him, to remind himself he was really real. He saw Arthur's jaw clenched tight and small lines radiating from the corner of his eyes. 'It will be a bit quieter there too, we can catch our breath'

He caught Arthur's darted glance and tried to appear as confident as he could. Poor Arthur was actually coping really well, better than Merlin thought he would do in the same position, but it had to be a bit much.

As he flirted with Sally when she came to take their order he noticed Arthur's hands gripping tight to each other. His friend's eyes were fixed firmly on the table and his shoulders were so tight you could have bounced a ball off them.

Placing the menu carefully in the small holder between the salt and pepper he tried to think what he could say.

"Arthur, I know this is hard. And I wish I could say it would get easier but I'm not sure it will. Those people at the hospital - they knew who you were. There's someone else who's been waiting for you and I don't know who it is but they won't mean you well"

He said he didn't know and he believed it but curly hair and green eyes played across his mind's eye and he felt a sinking feeling in his gut as he recalled the nurse talking to someone she addressed as 'my lady'. No, he wouldn't make assumptions. This was a new age. Things could be different.

"I'm still just trying to get my head round the whole been dead for over a thousand years thing"

"Well, yeah, that's understandable"

Arthur shot him a glance under his lowered brows. "And you, you said you've been alive for all that time?"

"Yes. I've been waiting for you."

Silence fell and after a moment he had to look away from Arthur's face.

"It's like this, Arthur. You're the Once and Future King. I was always destined to serve you and protect you. When you died" he looked again at Arthur to reassure himself that he was really there "Kilgharrah, the dragon, told me that at a time of Albion's greatest need you would rise again. And, here you are."

Arthur leaned back, his arms crossed across his chest, looking around the busy cafe. "What I don't understand is that you say I'm supposed to be here because it's Albion's time of greatest need, but I look around and I see peace and prosperity. These are happy people seemingly unaffected by war and starvation, what am I supposed to do?"

Merlin shifted uncomfortably as Arthur's face turned back to his and their eyes met. He'd been wondering the same thing. "Well, it's true you don't need to take over from an evil tyrant, and Prince William, well he's very popular and will likely be a good king after the old Queen goes, and there's certainly little wrong in Caerleon, at least to the uncritical eye. But, look, just wait here will you?"

He got up and walked towards the counter, trying to ignore the stabbing feeling in his heart at the sight of Arthur's dejection. He'd had a notion that it was all going to be so straightforward when Arthur returned, that they'd know just what they had to do. "But I should never have trusted a dragon's advice - riddles upon riddles"

"What's that love?"

"Oh, nothing Sally, do you have a paper?"

"By the water cooler - but there's magazines if you'd rather?"

He smiled as he lifted the paper in a salute "This is perfect, thanks!"

The headlines blared at him and he frowned on his way back to Arthur. This might work.

He cast the paper down in front of Arthur who cast him a quizzical look.

"What's this?"

"It's a newspaper, tells people what's happening in the world. Ignore the bit about the actress, look at the headlines - those are the big words"

Arthur frowned as he looked down and Merlin sat up. What if Arthur couldn't read modern English? It was very different from that of the 6th century. But it seemed that the magic was working again. Every so often as he read Arthur would ask the meaning of a term, but he seemed to understand most of it.

When Arthur had finished the first page he pushed the paper away and looked up with a twisted expression of disgust and sorrow. "And this is happening everywhere? This hatred and division? The people seem to be turning on themselves while their leaders watch"

"Sometimes they encourage it."

"What about these outside threats. This terrorism the news sheet speaks of?"

Merlin sighed and shrugged. "Well it's a threat and it isn't. It isn't anything very new but the way it's talked about is new." He looked at his newly young hands then back up at Arthur, a half smile on his face. "It's a bit hard after nearly 1500 years to see threats as really big anymore. I've seen kings come and go, thousands of people burned at the stake by their own communities, tyrants create empires of fear through Europe - several times actually - and the biggest threat I thought we faced, massive weapons that can destroy cities, have only ever been used twice." He remembered the day he'd heard of the bombing of Hiroshima, he'd been so angry and had come the closest he'd ever come to revealing his full powers.

"But we can't forget that there are other powers at work. They've been mostly quiet until now" 1918 and the so-called influenza epidemic shot into his mind "but they can be devastating when they act. With magic returning like it has they will be stronger. Perhaps that's the threat you need to face."

Arthur's face twisted into a smile. "Well old friend, seems you've become as wise and as vague as Gaius ever was." His eyes darkened as he looked back down at the paper. "There's certainly a lot to change here, let me know when you figure out how we do it."

Merlin smiled back. "That will definitely be the tricky part." He heard Lance's soft voice carry through the chatter of other patrons and shifted in his chair. There would be other tricky parts to come as well.

Most of the other patrons had left and Merlin was hardly through his second coffee. Arthur was reading out some of the more outlandish things from the paper to him when a tingle ran up his back. Bringing his cup down he cocked his head and motioned for Arthur to stop talking. Arthur took one look at his face and his hand went down to his hip, only to come up again more slowly, his face a twisted grimace. Part of Merlin registered that he'd have to get Arthur some kind of weapon soon but most of him focused solely on the feeling that was coming closer. When the door blew in he was already on his feet, arm flung out to try to ward off the heat of the blow. From the corner of his eyes he saw Sally flung across the room. The crack of bones and her anguished cry as she landed put steel down his spine. Arthur was at his back, fists clenched. "Tell me what to do Merlin, I don't know how to help"

"We need to leave, get away from any civilians, there's a back door"

"Do you mean the one over there with the big scary man blocking it?"

Merlin risked a glance. Bugger. "Okay, new plan, slightly different from the old plan, we get rid of the big scary man and then we go out the back"

"Right." Arthur stood there, looking around. "I need a weapon, Merlin, something I can be useful with"

Merlin's arm was barely shaking with the power that he was using to hold back the onslaught of the women from the hospital. It would be easier if he was just covering himself and Arthur but the remembered crack of Sally's bones and her frighteningly still body pushed him to extend the shield as far as he could. His eyes darted towards the fireplace. Brilliant, he thought he'd seen one before. "There, Arthur, by the hearth"

"I see it, thanks Merlin!"

Arthur was off at a run, barely pausing to snatch up the heavy iron poker from beside the fire. Whirling it he charged through Merlin's barrier and struck the big man on the side of the head. Unfortunately he didn't go down and Arthur was quickly put on the defensive as Big Man swung his own baseball bat, narrowly missing Arthur's head. Merlin began edging his way slowly towards the door - if he could block the magic of the two women then Arthur would have a better chance.

Movement caught his eye and he spun his head to see Lance, forgotten in the furthest corner, standing with his mouth open and staring at Arthur.

"Oh well, as good a time now as any I suppose" he said to himself and used a flick of magic to send a lampshade flying towards his assistant. Lance snatched it out of the air and knocked the lamp off the wooden pole before hoisting it like a javelin. He then froze, eyes wide.

"Oh come on! Lance! Get on with it! You need to help Arthur!"

Lance dropped the wooden pole and stumbled back, his hand reaching out behind him to the wall.

Merlin cast a glance around the diner. Apart from Sally's still figure they were the only non-assailants left in the room. He risked it and switched all his power from his shield and thrust it towards his cowering assistant.

"Lancelot! Awaken and serve your King!"

The force of his bolt of energy hit Lancelot and knocked him into the wall at the same moment as shattering pain drove Merlin to the ground as a blast from the nurse hit him full in the chest.

He gasped for breath, winded, and pushed himself up, shaking his head to clear it. His eyes flashed gold and he sent a blast of power towards the women approaching. The matron was flung backwards but the other, the one who had seemed in charge, put up a barrier that held against his. His eyes narrowed. She had power indeed to stand against him. He cast a glance over to where Lance had stepped forward and taken up the makeshift spear. His former assistant met his eyes and lifted the lamp stick in a salute; exhilaration filled Merlin. After years of looking into Lancelot's face and seeing only Lance, his friend had returned. A smile quirked the corners of his eyes and he left Big Scary to the two best knights in Camelot. The witches were his.

He moved closer, picking his steps carefully over the broken table legs and upended chairs.

"Who are you?"

"Who we are does not matter so much as what we will do, which is kill you and your king"

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen." He flicked a hand and she staggered back but did not fall. He kept walking towards her.

"I have to say though that you do seem familiar. I've seen you before, but I don't think it was this century." He frowned, trying to catch the elusive memory. Her teeth bared in a snarl and he felt the memory slide past again. "At least tell me your name, I'm guessing it isn't really Kelly". Something pinged in his mind as he said her name and he shook his head. "No, not Kelly, but like it"

She shouted wordlessly and jumped at him, fire shooting from her hands. He smiled. Effortlessly, a wall went up from his outstretched hand and her flames dissipated around the edges. The magic flowed from him, through him, and it was joyous. The fire went out and her hands dropped to her side, her chest heaving as she breathed her chin sank down and she looked up through her lashes. The shock of recognition caused his own shield to fall.

"Keliandra?"

Her lips tight she shot him a glance that burned him more than the flames. He took a step back and shot a glance back at Arthur. Her laugh brought his hand up again.

"Emrys. It has been so long. Youth suits you."

"You look well too. Unfortunately."

"Oh, always so snarky! I must admit I rather hoped you would have had some regrets but it appears not"

Merlin kept his guard up, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart. "You never did understand the true purpose of magic."

Her eyes shot to Arthur and he refused to follow her gaze despite the noises coming from behind them.

"So, this is the man you spent eternity waiting for? Well, we have been waiting for him too"

"Who is we?"

"Now, now. No rude demands. You will find out in due time. Of course, you might not last that long."

He was ready and as her eyes flashed he let the magic out and she flew across the room, colliding with the wall. He strode towards her as she dragged herself up but she stumbled out the door before he got there. Grimacing he looked down at his clenching fist. She had always been strong.

Arthur felt the poker seem to mould itself to his palm; what he wouldn't give for Excalibur. He'd have to remember to ask Merlin what he'd done with it. His first hit against the giant in the doorway crunched satisfyingly into the side of his head, but the big man just shook it off and glowered at him. Bugger. He swung the poker in a figure eight in front of him. "You could make this a lot easier on yourself and just leave,"

A wooden post came sailing through the air, knocking his assailant sideways and to the floor. Arthur swung his poker and walloped the big man on the side of the head again. This time he stilled and stayed down, his eyes closing.

Panting, Arthur turned to thank Merlin for a well-timed throw but saw him closer to the other door confronting one of the nurses. The man who approached him was dressed in the jeans and sweatshirt that everyone seemed to wear now but there was no mistaking the walk, or the eyes. His heart seemed to stop. "Lancelot? Do my eyes fool me or is it really you?"

The man stopped in front of him and dropped to one knee "Sire, it is indeed and my heart is full that I should see you again"

Arthur laughed with delight and stepped forward to draw Lancelot up and embrace him but stopped short as memory came crashing in. A vision of Guinevere wrapped in Lancelot's embrace; the soul-destroying pain of betrayal. He stepped back, absently trying to put the poker back in a scabbard that did not exist.

"Well. This is all unexpected. Merlin didn't tell me you were here."

"I didn't know myself, sire. I have but now awakened."

He looked at his former knight and despite the sense of betrayal still churning his gut he reached out and cuffed him on the shoulder "Good timing as always Lancelot, you always seem to be there to save the day".

The other man's eyes darkened but he nodded. "My destiny has always been to serve you Arthur"

"Yes, destiny seems to be pretty busy really."

He looked around for Merlin and saw him kneeling down beside the still body of the pretty tavern girl. Waitress. She was a waitress. "Come on Lancelot, let's see if we can help". It was pretty hopeless but he couldn't stand the stricken look on Merlin's face.

"Merlin". He put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Is there anything we can do? Is there a healer nearby?"

His friend shook his head, tears making streaks in the dust on his face. "There's too much damage. I'm going to have to try, I'll need you to stand guard in case Keliandra comes back."

"Keliandra? You know her then?"

"Later, Arthur, I need to do this now. Sally was always kind to me, even when she thought I was a grumpy old sod who drank too much coffee."

He tightened his grip on Merlin's shoulder briefly then stood back. "Of course, do what you can."

When Merlin's eyes turned gold and he began chanting he had to restrain himself from a sudden movement. He'd forgotten about the magic. He'd assumed Merlin would use the healing arts Gaius had taught him. Casting a glance at Lancelot he was surprised to see his face relaxed. "I did not think you of all people would be so comfortable around magic, Lancelot."

The other man smiled. "I have known about Merlin's magic for a long time. He used it many times to save lives, his healing power doesn't surprise me at all."

Arthur looked blankly at him, his mind focused suddenly on one thought. "You knew? You knew all the time that he was a sorcerer?" The hurt was new and it stung.

He looked down at Merlin, his friend's hands gentle as they stroked over the girl's head as the words of magic surrounded them.

"When did he tell you?"

Lancelot shook his head gently. "No Sire, he never told me. I guessed. The griffon that would have slain you, the one you thought I had slain? It was Merlin who did that. He enchanted my weapon and saved your life. I did not betray him because I knew deep in my soul that he would only ever use it for good."

Arthur inhaled deeply. "And indeed he did"

"It was because of him that I walked into the veil of the other world. He was going to sacrifice himself but I knew he was too important, his destiny was too entwined with yours. What was a knight's life to that of the greatest sorcerer who has ever lived?"

His head reeling he tried to grasp a change in beliefs long held. "We thought it was because of Guinevere, because of what she made you promise."

Lancelot's smile turned sad but he kept his eyes locked on Arthur's. "I promised Gwen I would do anything to save you, Arthur, but I had already promised you that when I became your knight."

A moan from their feet brought both men's eyes down. Merlin was smiling as he lifted Sally to a sitting position. Arthur felt pride fill him. The girl had been near dead but now she was looking around dazed but whole.

Merlin's tale of a gas explosion, whatever that was, seemed to satisfy Sally and they left her calling the police and the insurance company, the body of the dead soldier covered by a table cloth. The arrival of the nurses who were clearly witches was worrying but he couldn't deny he had felt a certain exhilaration in the midst of the fight.

The sun shone down from a blue sky and he could feel a sense of purpose settling in.

"Where to now, Merlin?"

"You and I are going to my place, in London, and Lancelot - I need you to do a couple of things here and then join us. It's time to waken the others."

#

Merlin leaned his head back and rested it against the stiff leather of the old train seat, his feet braced against the opposite seat. He breathed in the musty air with its diesel tang. He'd been unsure about how Arthur would deal with the train. The station was busy and, hyper alert to every reaction, he'd had to try to hold back and just let his king deal with the multitudes of people in their clothes that were so far removed from Camelot, and their total disregard for Arthur was amusing if it hadn't been so stressful. By about the third collision he'd had to remind Arthur that he was, to all intents and purposes, incognito and couldn't expect people to just get out of his way.

The noise of the train coming into the station had drawn his eyes to Arthur's, not sure what he'd see. But Arthur's face was lit up with a kind of anxious excitement as the massive metal beast drew alongside them in a screech of brakes and iron. Once inside and their tickets clipped Arthur's fascination had free reign. He sat, fidgeting, for a while but then had informed Merlin he was off to explore. Merlin had been a bit anxious but the last thing he wanted to do was molly coddle Arthur. The train was probably pretty safe.

Merlin closed his eyes and the music fed through his earbuds into his mind, settling his thoughts for a time. He let the movement of the train mesh with the beat until relaxation claimed him. When next he opened his eyes the train was driving its way through lush green fields and Arthur was back in the seat opposite leaning forward and watching him. He hesitated and then removed one bud.

"Sorry, was I out of it long?"

Arthur waved his hand and leaned back "No, it's fine. I was just curious."

"Curious? Oh, about these?"

He held up the iPod, making the cord dance.

Arthur nodded. He appeared relaxed but Merlin knew that face better than his own and he saw the tension in the lines around the blue eyes and the tightness in the jaw. It struck him how strange it must seem - the white cord and tiny metal object, seemingly plugged into him.

Taking the headphones out completely he shifted into the seat next to Arthur. "This is a device that stores music, and the cord and these buds lets the music go straight into your head without others hearing."

"It's music?" Arthur's surprise was patent.

"Yes". He felt suddenly shy. "Would you like to listen?"

He had to restrain himself from helping Arthur figure out how to get the headphones on - his King wasn't a child. It was harder to restrain a smile at the expression on Arthur's face when the music began playing, and after a second he didn't bother trying. His hand went to his mouth and his eyes danced. He sat back in the seat and glanced out the window at the trees.

"Merlin, I'm sorry, I have taken your music machine, did you want it?"

He turned back, "Arthur you don't need to speak so loudly. And nah it's fine, you listen. Tell me what you think - we can get you your own one if you like."

Arthur inclined his head and sat back also, his body relaxing but his eyes supremely focused as if he didn't want to miss a thing. Merlin sat back and watched him out of the corner of his eyes, noticing every response. It's funny, he thought, how intimate music is. It's like sharing your playlist with someone is sharing a bit of who you are as a person. It was perhaps a way for Arthur to get to know him over again as he was now; music was such a personal thing.

When the train drew up to their platform he had to nudge Arthur to get him to notice. They disembarked and Arthur passed him back his iPod. "Thanks Merlin. I would indeed like one please, and the music - we can get that too?"

"Yes Arthur, you can choose the songs you like and we can get it all sorted."

"Great. Good. That was good, Merlin. Thanks."

He smiled. Arthur looked truly relaxed for the first time since he'd first seen him. Maybe it would get easier for him.

The tube to his local station was another challenge though. He forgot to tell Arthur how to use the ticket machine at the exit and Arthur found himself at the head of a frustrated and noisy queue.

Escaping out to the relatively fresh air of London, Merlin made sure he kept close to his king. There were more people in London today than had been in the whole of 6th Century Britain.

Casting a glance at Arthur he was pleased to see him looking more relaxed.

"There's not far to walk, my flat's a few roads over".

Arthur's brow's drew together. "Flat?"

"House, where I live." A corner of his mouth screwed up. To tell him about Gwaine or not? He was handling things remarkably well and Gwaine was certainly less complicated than Lancelot. He shrugged internally. It would be nice to have Arthur to himself for a bit but it wasn't like he could keep Gwaine away from his king. "Do you like it, sire? London that is."

"It's cleaner than I remember. Less dirt."

Merlin startled and then took a new look at the surrounding streets. He was so used to litter and pollution warnings that it was easy to forget the constant battle against mud and dirt and dust there had been for centuries. The windows of the shops on the high street were large, reflecting the sunlight back at them. The windows in the 6th century had been leadlighted panes and fairly opaque. Streets were swept regularly, shop counters gleamed, and the people left the fragrance of soap and perfume in their wake.

Arthur's voice broke in on his fascinated comparisons. "I like it. I like the people. It's an odd thing to say but it's quite nice to be just one of the crowd."

He brought his gaze back to Arthur, tall and blond and currently dressed in a strange hodge podge of clothes. His king would never be just one of the crowd.

The walk to his flat brought London fresh to his eyes again as he saw it all through Arthur's enthusiastic excitement. Who'd have thought Kilburn could be so full of life and freshness?

Arthur grinned at two kids zooming past on their scooters, but as he met Merlin's eyes his brows drew together. "So, Merlin. You said you knew the witch we saw back in Caerleon; why didn't you say something at the hospital?"

"I didn't recognise her until I was fighting her. Which tells you a lot about our relationship. I knew her a long time ago, in the 17th century."

His lips pressed together and he found himself digging his hands in his pockets. This was not something he liked thinking about, although it often turned up in his nightmares.

"I'm guessing she wasn't a friend of yours?"

He stretched back and let out a sigh. "She was my student and my ward. I raised her from a child. She was brought to the village by a local farmer who had found her half-starved on the side of the road. I could tell she had the gift so I took her in." Blonde curls and a beaming smile flashed into his memory, a small hand sliding into his as she persuaded him to come see a starling's nest. "It was fine for a while but things didn't work out as I'd hoped"

"She was like Morgana then? Did she turn to the old ways?"

He shook his head, a vice around his heart. "No, not quite like Morgana. Not as strong for one thing. But there were reasons Morgana turned the way she did. There was nothing to drive Keliandra to evil. Nothing but her desire for power and her failure to see people as more than things."

He stopped at the end of his road. It was stupid but he didn't want to bring discussion of Keliandra and the pain of her betrayal into his home. "In the end, she went to the flames and I let them take her. It's bad news for us that she's returned and even worse that she seems to be acting on behalf of someone else - she's strong enough on her own to be a threat."

Arthur was frowning down at the ground, his arms crossed across his chest, but at that he looked up and Merlin saw a glint in his eye that he'd not realised he'd been missing. "We've faced worse, and this time you don't need to hide who you are. At least, not from me. Don't worry, Merlin, this Keliandra will find we are tougher than she thinks."

#

Reintroducing Gwaine to Arthur had been delightful. The two had talked and laughed and Merlin had been happy to sit back and watch, commenting now and then but just soaking up something that he had given up hope would ever happen. Then Gwaine sat back in the sofa, beer in hand, and said "it's just like that time back in 1850 really, don't you think Merlin?"

Merlin laughed "yes, but without the dancers!"

Gwaine threw his head back in a shout of laughter but Merlin's eyes were caught by Arthur's frown. "Something wrong, Arthur?"

"I think I'm missing something. So, Lancelot told me he'd just been awakened also, but Gwaine you're talking about something that happened 160 odd years ago as if you were there."

"Ah that was in a previous life. I remember them sometimes, and of course, Merlin's albums help."

"Albums?"

Merlin put his drink down. This was not the moment he would have chosen for this but live long enough and you soon figure out you don't get to choose your moments as often as you'd like. "I have a book, Arthur, an album. Well, several really." He motioned to the bookshelves on the other side of the room. They have pictures and photographs from my life."

"And Gwaine's in it?"

Gwaine nodded, a grin on his face. The idiot was never that good at picking up people's moods. "Yep, and the others too at times, but mostly me and Lancelot." He finally met Merlin's fixed gaze and his smile turned into a puzzled frown and then an apologetic grimace. "There I go, shooting my mouth off again. Well, sire, it's been better than I can say to see you again, but I best leave you both to get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day."

Merlin walked him out and shut the door on his "sorry Merlin, I didn't think".

When he walked back into the living room he saw Arthur in front of the bookshelves with an open album in front of him.

"I see what he means. So many lives, Merlin. How did you keep track?"

"Generally I let other people keep track and I just did my own thing. Easier."

He took the album from Arthur's hands and passed him another one. "This is the most recent one."

Tidying the bottles away he heard nothing but flipping pages and once a snort that seemed to be an abruptly squashed laugh. His stomach tight he threw the takeaway boxes in the bin and went back to the living room.

"These ones, Merlin. They're different. Gwaine seems to be himself in these ones more than in the others."

He took the album back. "Yeah. Of everyone he's probably the most like himself whatever life he lives, but he was different once he woke up"

"Woke up?"

He shrugged a wry smile at Arthur. "Yeah, woke up, was awakened, however you want to put it"

"Do you mean to tell me that Gwaine has been 'awakened' for a while? How long has he known?"

"Um, for about 8 years?"

Arthur held out his arms and made a face. "What? Years? 8 Years? And in all that time you never thought to awaken me? Oh no, just leave Arthur in the lake, he'll be fine, he's only been in there a few hundred years!"

"Thousand"

"What?"

"Um, it was a thousand and a half, not a few hundred.. Not that it matters. I mean, obviously it matters, ha, but um. Anyway. Yes, he's known for a while. Since his accident."

Arthur's hands were covering his face now and he let out a sigh. "I realise you're a sorcerer Merlin, but I'm sure that doesn't mean you have to speak in riddles. What. Accident."

Merlin held his breath a moment and his jaw tightened. "Right. So, 8 years ago I was coming home late one night and nearly fell over Gwaine's body on the path leading to our block of flats. He's been my neighbour for years. Funny thing, he always ends up near me, every lifetime."

He shot a glance at Arthur, the frown was back on his friend's brow but it was confusion and hurt he saw in his eyes, not anger.

"He'd been beaten and stabbed in a mugging and was dying. I could tell he wouldn't make it even if I called an ambulance. It, well, it gets lonely when he or Lancelot aren't there. So I took a risk and saved his life. Using magic. Turns out that kind of woke him up."

Arthur looked at him for a second and then he felt the weight of his king's hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry Merlin. I sometimes forget how long you have been by yourself. It is all so recent to me."

Merlin smiled, his eyes burning. "It's not been easy. And Gwaine was always my closest friend." Arthur's hand dropped away and Merlin grabbed his arm and made him meet his eyes. "My closest friend apart from you, Arthur. But Gwaine was easy to be around because he wasn't part of my destiny, and he wasn't my king. He was just there. Usually in the tavern."

Arthur smiled back but his eyes were still shadowed. Merlin closed the album and startled when Arthur took it gently out of his hands. "May I?"

"Of course, but why?"

"There's so much of your life I haven't shared Merlin, that I've missed. I'd like to try and catch up."

Merlin bit his lip and scrunched up an eye.

Arthur paused in opening the album. "What?"

"There's something else I can show you but it's possibly a bit embarrassing." He shifted his weight and then made a decision. "This way."

As he opened the door at the end of the hall Merlin tried to calm his breathing. 'Just remember how long it's been, Arthur."

He stood aside to let Arthur through and kept his eyes on the other man's profile. Arthur's eyes widened and he came to a stop just inside the door.

"I painted it from memory. It's not great but it's all I had." He stretched his shoulders in a shirt that suddenly felt too tight. "And there's more. There, in that book." Arthur looked at him and then followed his pointing finger to the large and ancient book that sat on the table in front of the portrait of Arthur that he'd painted sometime in the 1400s; memory hadn't faded and the paint had done some justice to the wound in his heart. His friend flicked gently through the frail pages of the old book and Merlin's fingers tugged and twisted the ends of his sweater. When Arthur finally looked at him he smiled awkwardly. "Told you it was a bit embarrassing."

"These letters. Did you write every day?"

"Yes. Every day. At first it was a way to grieve and then over time it became like a record. No-one else on earth remembered properly, this was the only way I could safely say what I thought and wished I could say to you. It was worse when times got really bad and I was so angry that you didn't come back" He leaned against the door frame, arms crossed tightly across his chest. "Like I said, it's been lonely."

Arthur closed the book slowly, his hand lingering on the cover. When he turned to face Merlin his eyes were bright and the hurt that had shaded them was gone. Merlin smiled and relief huffed out of him. Walking towards him Arthur said "You were always my most loyal and dearest friend Merlin. Thank you. Thank you for your long wait. I will try not to disappoint you".

Merlin shrugged his shoulders. "You can try…"

"Oh very funny, Merlin. Come here"

He found himself pulled into a hard embrace and coughed as Arthur thumped him on the back. "Remember I'm not one of your knights, you can stop hitting me"

Arthur let him go and the lopsided grin on his face matched the grin on Merlin's. His grin turned into a grimace as Arthur rumpled his hair.

"Oi, respect for your elders please"

"Respect? I am your king, Merlin"

He felt the smile warming his eyes but he was serious when he replied "yes Sire, that you are"


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Chapter 3

She woke from another nightmare, her legs working and her arms tangled in the sheets as she fought desperately to be free. This felt different from the others. She breathed raggedly as the images faded. The blonde man had been there again, smiling at her only to call her name in sorrow as she thrust a dagger in his belly. That was pretty standard. But then the man, _her man_ , he had been there too; his hand had been outstretched towards her but she had turned away from him, turned away and felt her heart break.

The sheets made a soft sound as she threw them on the floor. She cast a glance at the pills on her side table but clenched her jaw. Tea. Tea would help.

The exhaustion dragged at her. Thank god she'd already arranged the day off. She'd hoped that with her alarm switched off she might sleep longer. Seems like all she'd done was dream for longer. Not a win.

Kettle switched on she walked into the living room; time to let the sunshine in. The window was cool as she pressed her forehead against it and she tried to find her centre again. The pedestrians below were in jackets and beanies as they fought against the first winter chill. It was a peaceful view and she felt her breathing slow.

One of the passers-by looked up at the window as he walked and she recoiled. It was him. Her hand went to her throat, heart racing and thoughts cascading.

Her body seemed to take over. Grabbing her trench coat and shoving boots on her feet she raced down the stairs; if she was fast enough she might just find where he went, call him to stop. Talk to him and find out why she dreamed about him every night. And find out why her heart broke when she turned away from him. She squashed that thought.

If people thought it was odd that she was running in the cold in her pyjama bottoms and singlet, hurriedly tying her trench tight, curly hair streaming wild behind her they didn't say anything. It was, after all, London. The sane part of her brain wondered if she'd remembered to leave the door unlocked but she kept going. When she turned the corner, she saw him and she stumbled to a stop. He was talking to another man, the one he'd been walking with, and this one, all shaggy brown hair and flashing smile, seemed ridiculously familiar too. She walked slower, trying to brush her hair off her face and wishing she'd stopped to put proper clothes on. Then she felt her eyes light up in a hysterical smile. Well, if she was going to talk crazy to him she might as well look the part.

The two men shook hands and the second, shorter, man darted across the road. She watched him nip through the cars and when she turned back her breath caught in her chest. He was staring at her and she couldn't look away. The dreams, the memories, hit her in a wave and she felt her knees buckle. She flung out an arm to stop herself falling and all of a sudden he was at her side, helping her up.

"Morgana, what is it, what's wrong?"

"You know my name?"

He seemed to still. "Heard it. The other day in the tea shop. Come on, let's get you somewhere you can sit down,"

She stood and pulled the coat closer together, incredibly conscious now of how she must look. He didn't seem to notice though; his eyes seemed to never leave her face.

"Come on. There's a bus stop over there, you can sit until you're better" His hand on her elbow drew her steadily after him. She snuck a glance up at his profile. There was such strength there, an assurance that the younger man in her dreams seemed to lack. Maybe it wasn't really him.

Thankfully the bus stop was empty and she let him set her down on the hard metal seat. He sat close to her and took her hand and she noticed absently that she didn't seem to mind him touching her.

"Are you ok? I don't mean to be rude or anything but, well, why are you out here in your pyjamas? It's cold today"

"Oh. Yes. I didn't have time to change. I, well, this is hard to say but" she took a deep breath and went for it "I saw you out my window and wanted to catch up to you. I needed to talk to you"

He withdrew his hand and leaned back, putting distance between them. She looked down at her hands. "Sorry. I know that sounds crazy. I'm not really, at least I don't think I am." She laughed abruptly. "It's ridiculous, I don't even know your name"

There was silence and she braved a look at him. He was smiling but his eyes were sad and she could swear they were bright with tears. "Merlin. My name is Merlin, Morgana".

The world seemed to stop, sounds became muted and the cars slowed to a crawl. Merlin. As she looked at him she saw overlaid on his sombre, bearded face a younger more joyful face. The eyes, his eyes were always the same. The world returned in a whoomph and she took a shuddering breath. "I was right. I do know you. I'm still not sure how, but I know that I do. And I dream about you. All the time."

His face froze before the most glorious smile burst out. She scarcely heard his words for the blaze of memory that smile brought into her heart.

"Well, it's not every day a beautiful lady admits she dreams about me. Although I fear your dreams are not what I would wish."

The blood rushed to her cheeks. "No. Not exactly." Her hands twisted around each other. "They are very dark dreams. Full of death." She looked back up at him and wasn't sure if the blur in his eyes was his tears or was her own. "Do you know why? What is happening? Who are you?" tears choked her voice as she forced the last words out "why do I see you killing me in my dreams?"

His hand landed gently on her fingers, stopping their frantic twisting.

"Once, a long time ago, in another life, I was your friend. And then we were not friends and we did things to each other that I too see in my nightmares. But this is a new age and I would be your friend again, Morgana. Perhaps now we can find another way. I wish you could believe me when I tell you that you can trust me."

She looked into his warm blue eyes and the ages of the world seemed to look back. But tempering the sad wisdom of time she saw kindness, affection even. This morning's dream sprang into her mind's eye and she saw again herself turning from his outstretched hand, and the pain it caused her. She grasped his hand with her own. "I don't know why I do, but I do trust you Merlin. As foolish as that might be."

His smile lifted her spirits. "Well, I will give you no cause to change your mind. Come on, let's get you home and into something warmer - you're shivering."

They were turning the corner before her house when she thought of something. "At least I can tell Gwen I'm not actually crazy, maybe her dreams mean something too". Merlin stumbled next to her and she put out a hand to steady him.

"Gwen? You have a friend named Gwen?"

"Yes, why? Do you know her?"

His smile twisted and he shrugged. "Given the way my week's turning out I'd say it's a good chance I do".

#

Arthur picked up the cup and then put it down again. He caught Gwaine's eye and the other man made a sympathetic face. Gods was it that obvious? He was a king. Or used to be at any rate. It should be easier to hide what he felt. He left the table only to stop after a minute when he realised he was pacing. Placing his hands behind his back he faced out the window. He could stay still damn it, he wasn't a boy after all.

A car drew up outside the flats and he craned forward, heart racing. Merlin got out and looked up at the window, giving a little thumbs up when he saw Arthur. He drew back from the window when Merlin reached back into the car to take her hand. Heaven forbid she saw him staring out the window like some lovestruck fool.

What if she didn't remember? Why was it so difficult to figure out where to stand? And why did his hands suddenly seem to have no idea what to do with themselves? Gwaine's hand came down on his shoulder and the unspoken support helped a little. He breathed deeply as the key sounded in the lock and footsteps came through the hall. Merlin's voice murmured and then he heard her laugh a little. The sound seemed to bring the sunshine into the room and when she walked through he had to stop himself from running forward to catch her in his arms. Merlin had told him she was still only half awakened.

Her hair was shorter, only reaching her shoulders, but curlier than ever. She was wearing a dress that was alarmingly short, only covering her knees, and a short little shirt or jacket. But her face was the same, those brown eyes huge with what he hoped wasn't alarm. She smiled tremulously and his vision blurred until he blinked.

"Guinevere".

Merlin coughed and walked past him, grabbing Gwaine's arm. "We'll go sort out some tea, call us if you need anything"

He didn't look away from Gwen's face as he heard the door behind him close. To have known that he would be separated from her by his own death and then to think that she was dead while he lived again was still a recent scar in his mind and the sight of her here, eyes lifted to his, was balm to his soul. If only she didn't look so uncertain.

His hand went out and he tried to stop it shaking. It took a moment, a moment that felt like a lifetime, but she reached out and took his hand. A feeling like lightning went down his arm and he gripped her hand tight. She gasped and her eyes opened wide. "Arthur. It is you. I saw you, in my dreams."

Then she was in his arms and he held her as if he could merge her with his very self, his heart racing under her hand. After a second she seemed to pull back and he instantly let her go. Time. Merlin had said she would need time, and here he was rushing her like an idiot.

"Sorry"

"No, no it's alright." She made a face as if she was trying to keep something in. "It's just, well, very strange and I have all these half memories which I don't really know if they're dreams or true or just stories. I'm sorry"

He stepped back. "No, don't be sorry. It's me who should apologise. I understand what it's like to not remember properly."

She nodded and the uncertain smile on her face and the way she wouldn't meet his eyes triggered a memory from long ago. He waited until she looked back at him under her lashes.

"Do you remember the first time I kissed you?"

She smiled a little but a line was between her brows and she shook her head slowly. His heart ached but he brushed a strand of soft hair off her forehead and then lifted her chin.

"I had been a visitor in your house while I was playing at being incognito in that stupid tournament.' Her head tilted a little and the smile seemed to grow. Heart leaping at the thought that the memory might return he stepped closer. "You had told me in no uncertain terms how rude I had been and I saw myself through your eyes for the first time and wished you had seen something better. That last day of the tournament I wished had never come. I wanted nothing more than to stay in your house with you. You gave me a token to wear in the joust and before I knew what I was doing I kissed you."

Her lips came together as if she did remember and he leaned forward to rest his forehead on hers. "It was the most blissful moment I remember. You are my heart Gwen. I have loved no-one but you my whole life"

Her hand came up hesitantly and cupped the side of his face.

"I don't remember everything, Arthur. But I do remember that I love you."

His blood seemed to sing and he bent his face to hers. Time stopped as their lips met and the sweetness of the moment he added to his most treasured memories.

It was a little while later, curled up on the faded blue sofa in Merlin's living room, that she told him about the dreams.

Merlin was pacing and he watched him from where he sat on the sofa with his arms crossed, legs stretched out in front of him.

"The boy that Gwen said was in her dreams, the man she's seen on the tube, I'm very much afraid that can only be Mordred."

Arthur's stomach clenched and he swallowed hard. "No. Can't be. Must be someone else"

His friend's eyes softened. "Arthur, we don't know what he's doing here but it makes sense that he would be. He was always part of your destiny."

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "I wish that for once destiny would leave me the hell alone"

Merlin said nothing.

"Yeah, I know, I know. Once and future king and all that. Wouldn't be here now, with another chance, if it wasn't for destiny. But you know what I mean,"

The laughter in his friend's voice flattened his hackles. "Oh, believe me I know exactly what you mean."

"So, if it is Mordred" he asked, "what are we going to do about him?"

Merlin paused in his pacing. "I don't know that there's anything we can do. If she's seen him on the tube then he's probably in London somewhere. We don't even know if he's been awakened or not and, if he is, what side he's taking. I think we're just going to have to wait on that one."

Gwen walked back into the room, her phone in her hand. He still couldn't get over the ability to talk to someone far away through such a small device. He'd had to stop himself from asking her a million questions about it when he saw that she had the same slim tablet thing that the nurse had had in the hospital. Everyone seemed to have them. Even Merlin had one, although to be fair he didn't seem to use it much. Asking lots of questions just made him feel stupid so he'd kept quiet, but Gwen had seemed to pick up on his curiosity and had taken time to show him what it did. Sitting there with their heads together had left ripples of happiness in his veins.

"What did she say?" Merlin asked Gwen as she sat back down next to Arthur.

"She didn't say much. I think she's still overwhelmed. I told her you would pick her up and, to be honest Merlin, I think you'd better do it before many more people arrive - she said she's remembering more and we all know that can't be comfortable"

"I should think not!" Arthur said. "Are we actually going to ask Morgana to join us? You do remember what she did?"

Merlin didn't meet his eyes. "Yes, I do. Every day. But I also remember her before. Don't you?"

He let out a deep sigh and rubbed his face. "Damn you, yes I do. So, you reckon she's different this lifetime?"

Merlin stopped pacing and stood in front of them, his own arms crossed. "What do you think, Gwen? You're the one who's had the most to do with her."

His hand was so close to hers. Surely it would be ok to hold it? No, not now. Maybe later when Merlin wasn't here. He focused on what she was saying.

"She's nice, keeps to herself a lot. I'm probably the closest friend she has and we only go out sometimes. I think she's lonely but she always says she's fine. She's honest in all her business dealings, gives money to charity, campaigned for the last mayoral candidate, the one who didn't make it. He was promising to work to end the homelessness and poverty in the city and that's something she always gets upset about."

He looked at Merlin; it was a bit concerning how pleased he was looking about all this. He'd had to warn him once about getting too close to Morgana, hopefully he wouldn't have to do it again, he hated seeing Merlin sad.

"You see, Arthur? People can change, it's a new life and a new chance."

His brows contracted and he looked away from Merlin's beseeching eyes. This could be the first mistake. He sighed again and took Gwen's hand. She didn't pull away and he smiled inside. "So, you think she's ok. Merlin, do you really think we can trust her?"

The answer was immediate. "Yes, I do. I really do Arthur."

"Well I trust your judgement. I always have. Go, bring her then. But be quick. Gwaine said some of the others are coming down today so you better be on hand if you need to do anything."

Merlin's smile was infectious and he caught himself smiling even as his heart sank. He recognised that smile. Poor Merlin, how to tell him that only heartbreak lay that way?

Gwen squeezed his hand as Merlin grabbed his coat and dashed out the door, calling out something about Percival and train times to Gwaine as he did so. "It will be okay" she said. "He will have to find his own path when it comes to Morgana, but for what it's worth, I have faith in his judgement too. I think things can be different now if we want them to be"

He kissed her hand. "Well then let's hope she wants that too"

#

Merlin paid the taxi driver and she ran her eyes over the tidy block of flats in front of her. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting but it wasn't this neat little modern set of terrace houses. Casting a sidelong glance at Merlin she tried to remember what he'd been like before. He seemed so much more in charge now. But then he turned to face her and she saw how nervous his smile really was and she felt her lips curve up. That was more like what she seemed to remember.

"This way, I'm in the end flat."

Walking alongside him up the path to the front door she brushed her fingers against the purple blooms that lined the path. "They're beautiful. I've always loved these flowers."

He plucked one gently and passed it to her, his face serious but not frowning. "Yes. I know".

She breathed in sharply but took the blossom, tucking it into the top button hole of her cardigan. Her heart was racing as he opened the front door. What was she doing here? This was probably a huge mistake.

Voices came down the hall and she licked suddenly dry lips and followed Merlin into the room at the end of the passage, trying to keep her rapid breathing quiet. She remembered them all now. Remembered what had been done. She wasn't sure she was ready. Merlin was striding ahead though and she didn't want to be left alone so she kept her eyes on his broad shoulders and tried to ignore the silence that greeted them.

The silence didn't last long. A chair scraped back and fell as a man flew towards her.

"You have got to be joking! The last time I saw that bitch she stuck a serpent on my neck and made me betray my king!"

Her eyes shot up. Gwaine. Of course. He looked much the same, even in a t shirt and jeans. And that was Percival holding him back as he lunged at her. Merlin had already stepped in front of her and that made her heart skip. He wasn't supposed to be her protector.

Another man entered her line of vision. "Gwaine. Sit down. Merlin asked me if he could bring her and I said yes."

She drew a breath in, ignoring the burn in her throat. "Arthur"

His eyes met hers and she felt the same pain she'd felt every night of her life. This was the other man from her dreams, the one who she both cared for and hated. Her half-brother. Her enemy. She wished she had pockets so she could hide her shaking hands but settled for keeping them tucked in at her side.

Merlin shifted to stand next to her; she could feel the intensity of his gaze but she couldn't look away from Arthur. "Morgana." His voice was soft by her ear. "I know it's hard but you don't have to make the same choice. You have a new choice. A new life."

She felt hope welling up and squashed it firmly, as she did on a daily basis.

Gwaine all but spat in her direction. "She has no place here. She betrayed us all."

Her heart turned to stone. He was right. She remembered. Turning to Merlin she whispered. "This was stupid, I can't be here. I have to go."

"No, Morgana, you need to stay". Merlin took her hand. "It's so hard, Morgana, forgiving you for the pain you caused. The betrayal. But," he turned to face the others "you all need to know that I have never been able to forgive myself for betraying her first."

She could hear Gwaine's snort of disbelief but it was drowned out by the thundering in her ears. Her face was hot and her shoulders were so tight she felt them start to cramp.

Arthur came closer, he of all the rest was silent. In that silence, she read his trust of Merlin and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Merlin, what do you mean you betrayed her?"

He let her hand go, not suddenly but gently, holding onto her fingers as they slid through his.

"I don't mean when I poisoned her to destroy the sleeping spell that laid us open to the Knights of Medhir. I did that to save us all and although it broke my heart to do so I know I had no other choice. I don't even mean when I ended her life after the battle of Camlan. I mean that I knew she had magic." Her heart seemed to stop and then began beating in a pounding rhythm. Merlin shoved his hands in his pockets and kept his head tilted away from her.

"I knew from the beginning when she started having visions and losing control of her gift. I knew, and although I tried to help by sending her to the druids I never told her that I had magic too. I never shared with her the one thing that could have given her comfort and safety, and for that I have hated myself for a thousand years."

Her face felt heated as the blood fired through her. She remembered the loneliness and fear, thinking she was the only one. She remembered shouting at Merlin that he didn't understand, could never understand, because he didn't have magic. And all that time he'd known?

Finally, he looked at her and his eyes were wells of sadness. "I wanted to tell you, Morgana, I really did. Gaius told me I couldn't. Kilgharrah, the dragon, warned me not to. Actually," a half smile that tugged at her deepest hidden memories flitted across his face, "he always told me to kill you but, you know, same same."

He looked at the others in the room but she couldn't take her eyes off his face. "I blame myself for what she became. Morgana may have been very different had she learned the joy and beauty of magic from me rather than its power and strength from Morgause. I know she made her choice and she did terrible things but she paid for it. She died. She died at my hand." His voice trembled and her hand went to her belly where a ghost of a pain long forgotten stirred. He shook his head and continued more strongly: "I didn't die. I haven't paid yet. Let me try to pay for it now by making things different. This is Morgana yes, but it's a Morgana who is not the same as the one who tortured you Gwaine, just as you aren't exactly the same as the knight who fought her."

Arthur broke the silence with an exasperated huff. "This is all far too complicated Merlin. Are we or are we not who we think we are?"

Merlin's eyes lit with an impish glow and the smile that did unfamiliar things to her heart spread across his face. "A question for the ages Arthur, but yes, we are exactly, forever, as we _think_ we are. No more, no less."

She restrained a smile as Arthur aimed a punch at Merlin's shoulder, his face a picture of exasperation. She caught Gwen's eye. Her friend, servant?, co-worker? was looking at her with a thoughtful expression. She tossed her head back in a challenge.

"Thinking, Gwen?"

The other woman nodded slowly. "Yes. I understand now why Merlin brought you here. He's right. We can be whoever we think we are. Whoever we want to be." Gwen's gaze was suddenly too sharp for comfort. "Who do you want to be Morgana?"

Her voice caught and she couldn't answer. Of course it would be Gwen who nailed it. She always did. Her chin went up again, armour on; there was no way she would let them see just how unsure she felt. "That's for me to know"

Arthur stepped forward, stopping just in front of her and she fought the urge to step back. "Actually, Morgana, it's for you to let us know."

"Or what? You'd send Merlin to poison me again? Or would it be the sword?"

She felt rather than saw Merlin's reaction and cursed herself. She hadn't wanted to hurt him. Idiot. The smile stayed on her face though; once the armour went on it didn't come off easily.

Arthur smiled back. "Don't be silly Morgana. It seems you don't have your magic back yet and until you know, until _we_ know, what you've decided to be then we may have to restrain you. We don't have any dungeons unfortunately but did you know they have a wonderful invention now called duct tape?"

Merlin was in her line of sight again, pushing Arthur back. "Don't be stupid Arthur, no-one has to be restrained. Except possibly Gwaine. The very fact that Morgana is here and that she doesn't remember fully who she is tells us she's not with Keliandra. You need to believe me." He looked at her and then back at the others. "I trust her"

Her heart, which had felt like ice, now heated up and she fought to not reach out her hand to him. Trust. She trusted him, even though his face still echoed through her mind when she saw her death, and to know he trusted her in return pleased her, even as she fought the hurt that the knowledge he'd always known about her magic had brought back.

Arthur nodded slowly. "And I trust you Merlin, but Gwen's question still stands. Morgana, you were once the most compassionate and fiercely loyal person I knew. I would give anything to have that back and, indeed, to call you sister. But I need to know - who is it that you want to be?"

She pressed her lips together and her eyes went from Arthur to Gwen, who was watching her warily but with compassion softening her eyes, and then to Merlin, whose face was unreadable.

Her gaze returning to Arthur she tried to smile but the edges of her mouth still turned down. "Myself. I've only ever wanted to be myself. And to be accepted for who I am. Now it turns out I don't even know who that is." Merlin's hand stretched out but she didn't take it, and it dropped again.

"But I can tell you one thing, Arthur Pendragon. I have no desire for any more deaths. I have had enough bloodshed in my dreams".

It was Gwen who stepped forward and embraced her and Arthur gave her a frowning half smile but when she looked for Merlin he had stepped back and was looking down at his feet, hands shoved firmly in his pockets. She closed her eyes resolutely. It was better this way.

#

Merlin looked around his full living room. He'd better get some more chairs or Percival's great weight would end up crushing those spindly seats he'd pulled in from the kitchen. Leon sat next to Arthur, face lit up as he swapped stories with Lancelot but eyes dark whenever they landed on Morgana, who sat quietly next to Arthur, drink hardly touched. Gwaine was trying to talk to her at least, his kind heart and good manners overruling his distrust. Arthur had been surprised at how easily Percival and Leon had slipped into themselves but he wasn't. After all he'd been seeding their noble family histories for centuries with tales of reincarnation and the return of Arthur. Both families held strongly to their Camelot roots so it had never been hard to keep track of them. Elyan was still in Caerleon and that was going to be harder. Yes. Not looking forward to that one. Thinking of which, he looked around and noticed someone missing.

Merlin slipped away and went to find Gwen. She wasn't in the kitchen but he noticed the door to the patio was open slightly. She was outside in the dark. He sighed.

Gwen startled as he draped Arthur's hoodie over her shoulders but settled when she saw it was just him and snuggled into the warm fleece.

"Thank you, Merlin. It's certainly getting colder."

"It's a nice night though. Clear. You can see the stars."

"Yes."

He watched her for a moment.

"Of course, you're only looking at your hands, not the heavens. But you know, they're nice too"

She smiled but didn't look up. He reached out and took one of her hands in his. It was freezing and he tutted and set to work chafing it. "What is it Gwen? You know you can tell me anything."

She bit her lip and looked up at him under her lashes.

"Will you promise to not tell Arthur?"

His hands stopped their warming rub for a second before he continued more gently. "I will never tell tales Gwen, but I will tell you that I think you should talk to him."

"How can I tell him that I feel crushed by expectation? That although I remember loving him beyond all reason, I also remember a life without him, where I had a boyfriend and was..."

When she didn't continue he reached out and tilted up her chin. "Where you were what, Gwen?"

She blinked the tears away. "Where I was happy. I was content, Merlin. I wasn't confused about who I was, about who I am, finding out I'm married to a king in a romance that's been immortalised in legend, and friends with a warlock and fighting against great evil."

"Well, when you put it that way it does sound bad. Except being friends with the warlock, because surely that's gotta be kinda cool"

Her half laugh tugged at his heart. He wiped her tears away and moved to put his arm around her.

"I do understand Gwen. I really do. Destiny is a bugger of a thing - it pushes you ahead of it and sometimes you feel you have to either go along with it or be crushed. I can only say that Arthur's love for you is a thing of legend precisely because it is so strong. He would have given up his kingdom for you, would have died a hundred deaths to protect you. He relied on you then and if he turns to you now it is because in his heart there's no-one he trusts more"

"There's you."

"Yeah, there's me, but it's different."

She frowned quizzically at him and he tried to explain. "Arthur and me, we are two halves of a whole, two sides of the same coin. Arthur and you, it's different. You are the one who completes his heart."

Her face crumpled and she bit her lip again as if to keep in her tears.

"But that's what I'm afraid of, what if I can't love him back in the same way in this life? I only remember loving him," Her voice sank to a whisper "I don't think I actually love him."

"Yet."

She pushed her hair off her face, "Yet?"

"Yeah, yet. You gotta give it a chance Gwen, and if it doesn't work out, well, I'll be very surprised. But don't throw away your chance to have the other half of your heart back in your life".

Her mouth was still twisted but she nodded slowly. Then she asked "is that why you can't let Morgana go?"

Merlin let her hands drop and moved back, crossing his arms in front of him. "Something like that. I thought we were talking about your problems?"

She smiled and he could see the old Gwen blending with the new. "You know she can be a real cow? And I'm not talking about the Morgana you knew, I'm talking about the one I worked with."

He let himself smile back, "I can't help myself Gwen, it's a sickness. I'm drawn to her."

Her smile shrank. "I know what you mean."

The door snicked open and Merlin was thankful he was no longer holding Gwen's hands as the scent of jasmine wafted out. "Merlin? Gwen? What are you doing out here?"

Gwen's eyebrows raised at him and she smiled.

"Morgana, we were just talking about you."

"Really?"

Merlin shot a frowning glance at Gwen and shook his head roughly at her. Surely she could hear the ice in Morgana's voice, but she only smiled more broadly.

"Yes, Merlin was telling me about how happy he is that you're back." Standing, she drew Arthur's hoodie closer round her and walked past Morgana into the house.

Merlin turned to face Morgana, hand in his hair. "Ha, that Gwen."

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Happy that I'm back?"

His mouth opened but nothing came out and he shrugged helplessly. Her arms were wrapped around her chest and there was a tiny line between her brows. She finally sighed and turned back to the door. "Arthur wants you, Merlin, you'd better come inside."

He stood for a full minute after she'd gone inside, then, aiming a passing kick at the patio table, he followed her in.

#

It was the morning of their trip south. The sunshine was only just drifting through the mist left over from the damp night and the birds were just beginning to greet the day. Gwen walked out to join him on the patio and stood close but not quite close enough to touch by accident. He could feel her on his skin although she was inches away. Still the burning pain of Lancelot came between them. He'd thought that was all done with, that he'd forgiven her. But when he'd seen them in the same room yesterday he'd been shocked to realise how far from forgiveness he felt.

"It was easier when he wasn't there." His voice seemed too loud in the misty morning silence and he felt her flinch beside him.

"I know. When I see him, I'm reminded of it all and it seems to take over every other feeling."

His breath caught painfully in his chest. He had to ask but he was afraid of the answer. "Of what? I mean, what are you reminded of?"

Her eyes were liquid in the soft morning light and he crossed his arms to avoid touching her face. "Of what I did, of betraying you. I swear, Arthur, I don't know why I did it"

Relief flooded him but it was the hurt he heard in his own voice. "And I still don't understand why either, Gwen. I have loved no other but you. You have all my heart, but I'm never sure that it's enough"

She bit her lip and this time he let his hand come up to brush the tears away. Her skin was so smooth and before he knew it she was in his arms, his face buried in her mass of curly hair.

"I'm sorry Gwen. I know it is in the past. I should not have said that"

"No, I'm sorry. I despise cheaters. My last boyfriend was a cheater and it broke my heart."

His arms tightened around her until a muffled squeak made him relax his grip. Her last boyfriend. She meant the other Gwen's boyfriend. Merlin had tried to warn him, to tell him that she was not fully his Gwen yet but it was so hard to take in when she was so real in front of him, even with the short haircut that he was surprised to find he liked.

"Listen, Gwen…"

His head came up as Merlin's voice came through the window

"No, Morgana you shouldn't go out there. Gwen and Arthur are working out some…stuff."

Arthur sighed. Then Morgana's voice floated out, followed by a sharp 'ow' from Merlin.

"That's exactly why I have to Merlin, let me through"

He let go of Gwen and turned to the ranch slider, a frown tightening his brow. He shot a glance at Merlin as the other man followed Morgana onto the terrace, rubbing his side and grimacing. "I know, Arthur, but she's got a sharp elbow"

"Honestly Merlin, don't be so wet. Morgana, what do you want?"

His half-sister stood in front of him and when her lips curled in a smirk which didn't reach her eyes he realised he'd shifted slightly so as to be in front of Gwen. Their eyes met and he tried to look more welcoming.

"Well?"

"It's Lancelot, isn't it? The 'stuff' you're working out?"

His shoulders tightened and he drew himself up. "That's really none of your damned business"

"Actually, it is. There's a lot I have done that I can't do anything about now, but this is one thing that I can fix." She turned her head and smiled at Merlin and Arthur was startled at the open affection in her face. "Merlin, can you bring him out here please?"

"Who, Lancelot? Are you serious?"

Morgana simply kept her eyes on Merlin, who threw his hands in the air.

"Oh alright, but don't blame me if it all goes pear shaped"

Arthur reached down and wrapped his hand around Gwen's. Her other hand came up to rest against his shoulder and she leaned her head into him. "It's okay Arthur, I can handle it"

His smile grew as he looked down into her eyes. "You always know, don't you, exactly what I'm thinking."

Morgana was fidgeting and Arthur's eyes flicked up to watch her shifting restlessly. Her skin was tight around her eyes and a deep line furrowed her brows.

He felt relief when Merlin returned with Lancelot; feeling compassion for Morgana was altogether too raw an emotion. He still tried to ignore the way Lancelot and Gwen didn't look at each other.

"Alright, Morgana," he said, "we're all here, now what is it that you have to say?"

She took a deep breath and seemed to hesitate until Merlin walked to stand next to her. She cast him a quick glance and then burst out "It wasn't them. It was me."

He looked between the others, Gwen's face showed the same confusion he was feeling, Lancelot kept his eyes on the ground but Merlin was looking intently at Morgana. But then, that was Merlin.

"It's okay Morgana," Merlin said now. "I know that he was a shade you called up to make mischief, is that what you mean?"

She looked up at him and nodded but then shook her head. "That wasn't all I did"

Arthur felt frustration build up inside his chest. "And we're still in the dark over here. What are you both talking about?"

"When Gwen and Lancelot betrayed you, they weren't acting of their own free will. I raised Lancelot from the dead, bound his spirit and enchanted Gwen with the bracelet he gave her. I was trying to stop her becoming Queen and I knew that this would be the one thing you could never forgive. But Gwen has nothing to be forgiven for. She would never have betrayed you willingly, which is why I had to enchant her."

Arthur couldn't speak. Anger and joy jostled for dominance in him, memories of his grief and torment filled him and he found his hand sliding down to where his sword would once have been. He could see Merlin's eyes track the movement but the other man didn't move. "Arthur" he said, "she didn't have to tell you"

He blew out a breath and relaxed his arm. "No. No she didn't. Thank you, Morgana. You have relieved my heart of a great burden"

"Mine too" said Gwen, her arm sliding hesitantly round his waist. His skin thrilled at her touch and his heart seemed like it would float out of his chest. He smiled at his beloved and then looked for Lancelot. Gwen's relief was a blessed sight but Lancelot's face brought tears to his eyes. It was if the other man had found salvation after too long in hell.

Morgana stepped close to Lancelot and her voice was gentle as she spoke to him. "You were always, and will always be, the most noble of knights, Sir Lancelot. I am truly sorry for what I made you do, it was unpardonable."

Lancelot's eyes stayed closed, wetness visible on his cheek, but he reached out a hand to take Morgana's and Arthur saw his lips form words. Knowing Lancelot he was probably forgiving her.

Gwen stirred under his arm. "What I don't quite understand is that you said you bound his soul, his spirit. How then could his spirit be reborn?"

Lancelot's eyes opened and he let Morgana's hand go. "It was Merlin, Merlin gave me back my soul. I remember now, I felt his hand on my forehead and when I opened my eyes I was free once more. My spirit returned to its rest."

Arthur stared at Merlin, who was half smiling and mostly looking uncomfortable, hands back in his pockets and shoulders hunched. "It seems every day I learn more about what you did. How did you ever manage to hide your power for so long?"

His friend's slow smile pushed the discomfort away. "Well, you were never the brightest tool in the shed, my Lord"


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Chapter Four

The train was crowded and they ended up split between carriages. Merlin put the tickets in his pocket. Leon hadn't been happy that the knights had to leave Arthur with Morgana but he'd been quietly adamant that she was staying with them and Gwaine had cast him an uncomfortably knowing look before throwing his arm around Leon's shoulder and practically pushing him through to the next carriage. Oddly it had been Lancelot who had been the most settled about Morgana joining them. He'd been quietly helping her with her bag and walking next to her into the station when the others still, consciously or otherwise, were leaving a big space between them. At least Arthur was speaking to her. He smiled wryly to himself. Looked like a fun journey ahead.

"Merlin", Gwen's voice pulled his attention back to the now. "Where did you go before, when we were on the platform?"

"Ah yes, I'd nearly forgotten with Leon's strong and not so silent act." He stood and pulled his bag back down from the overhead rack, digging his hand down the side pocket until he found it. "I was getting this". He sat back down and passed it to Arthur.

The look on his king's face as he unwrapped the red and gold iPod was worth every penny. "There's music on it already, the guy in the shop transferred mine over but we can set you up an account and you can get what you want."

"Thank you, Merlin"

"My pleasure, Sire."

Morgana leaned close to him as Arthur carefully unwound the headphone cord. "Red and gold? Pendragon colours. I didn't know they sold them like that."

"They don't. I had to get creative"

She regarded him for a moment, a thoughtful smile on her face. "Nicely done Merlin."

He shrugged and made a face, putting his hands in his pockets before he tried to hold her hand again. "Well, least I could do. It's worth it to watch him explaining to Gwen what it all is."

Gwen must have heard him and she caught his gaze and waggled her brows at him, a smile in her eyes.

He settled back in the chair. He'd come to resent traveling but these recent train rides with Arthur had him noticing again how nice they could be. The countryside flashed past and the rhythmic rumbles of the wheels had him glancing around in contentment. Morgana's brows were furrowed but she smiled when she noticed him looking at her. The flower was still in her button hole, but it was a different cardigan. He took his hands out of his pockets and reached over to take the map from where it sat squashed between Arthur and the wall.

The table was just big enough for him to lay the map out and not get in the way of Morgana and Gwen's takeaway coffee cups. It was his own map and the red lines and post it notes showed the location of those places known now only to him. His brows contracted. And Keliandra. Possibly Mordred too. Bugger. And whoever that 'my lady' was probably knew some of them. Well, he'd just have to be clever about this.

Morgana picked up her coffee cup and leaned in to look at the inset map of Caerleon. "What's that? The black mark just outside the town?"

He pressed his lips together and then when she drew back he mentally kicked himself. "Sorry. Uh, that is Camelot. Or it was. Nothing there now"

Glancing up at Arthur he was pleased to see he was busy with the music and holding an earbud up for Gwen to listen to. It was too soon for Arthur to see what Camelot had become.

Morgana's face was stony but he knew those eyes and it wasn't anger but hurt that had made her shut down. He nudged her with his shoulder. "Hey, sorry. Old habits you know"

Her smile was a brittle flash on her face as she leaned back in her chair and put her cup down, letting out a sigh. "I know."

Shaking his head at himself he turned back to the map. There was a place he hadn't been for a couple hundred years but if it was still there it would be a good base, and it was far enough away from Caerleon that they should be able to avoid Keliandra.

The screech of the wheels brought his head up a second before a massive jolt sent the cups flying to the floor and Morgana crashing into the table.

Arthur shot to his feet and Merlin stood more slowly, having checked that Morgana hadn't hit her head. "Accident?"

"Not sure. The train's stopped though."

It had happened too quickly for anyone to scream and now people were beginning to wonder aloud what had happened and to pick up their belongings from where they'd fallen. Gwaine pushed through the jammed door. "Merlin!"

"Gwaine, you alright in there?"

There was no smile on his friend's face. "Leon got hit in the head with someone's case but apart from the blood he's fine. Merlin, I don't think this is an accident"

He stiffened as the same feeling he'd had in the cafe hit him. He met Arthur's eyes and knew his king had picked it up too. There was no point wasting time, they'd be here in moments. Stepping over Morgana into the aisle of the carriage he put his hands up to rest on either side of the luggage racks, bracing himself against any further impact. "Everyone! Listen up, there's been an accident, you need to move to the carriage behind. In fact, get them to move too, right to the end of the train, and lock the door."

A middle-aged man in shorts and a bright shirt stood and faced him. "Lock the door? What kind of accident is this? And who are you to tell us what to do?"

"Listen, sir, there's really no time. You need to go. Now." No-one was moving. Why didn't they move? An idea hit him.

"I didn't want to say but you've given me no choice." He flashed his lapel. "Secret Services. There's been an attack. You have to go. And quietly"

That got them moving. He hated to see the fear in their faces but the bombs and uzis of their imagination would have nothing on what was possibly approaching.

Arthur stood, clenching his fists. "Merlin, give me something to fight with."

"Me too"

He looked at Gwaine. "What do you expect me to do, magic up a sword or two?"

"Could you?"

"No!"

Thumps and screams reached his ears and the train rocked violently. He braced against the rails under the luggage racks and managed to stay upright. His eyes flicked up. Now that might work. Standing back, he held up a hand. "Heawan" he murmured and saw gold as his eyes flashed. A perfect cut appeared in the metal rail and he smiled. Quickly making five more cuts he threw a bar to Arthur and passed two to Gwaine. "I'm pretty sure Percival has a knife. Gwaine" He called his friend back as he turned to go with the makeshift weapons. "If we get separated meet us at the place I took you last summer"

Gwaine nodded and ran back through the door which was now hanging from one hinge. The carriage continued to shake and grabbing the map he stuffed it hurriedly back in his jacket pocket. Morgana passed him his bag and then pulled a knife out of her own bag.

"What?" she asked when she saw him eying it

"Nothing".

"London's not always safe, I've had this for years."

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, we need to get off the train."

The outside door was jammed and he didn't bother trying to push it, instead he made sure the others were behind him and muttered 'Brecan" and the door exploded outwards.

Arthur's voice came over his shoulder. "Handy."

"You go first, Arthur, I'll help Gwen and Morgana"

Gwen rolled her eyes at him as Arthur jumped down, avoiding the bits of broken door. "Thanks, but I don't exactly need help to jump down a few feet."

She jumped down too into Arthur's waiting arms and he grinned. That was very like the old Gwen. He turned to Morgana and her frown brought his own brows together. "Hey, you ok?"

"Yes. It's just the magic. I miss it. You know?"

He reached out for her. "Don't worry, it will come back. I'm sure you'll find it soon."

She let him hand her down even though he was sure she would have no trouble jumping. He turned as Gwaine and the others came back through the door, Lancelot with an arm under Leon's shoulder. The knight looked a mess with blood covering half of his face but he smiled at Merlin. "Just a scratch. I'm fine really. Stupid suitcase."

He smiled back but his heart stopped when a sound he'd not heard in a long time thundered through the air and Gwaine was yelling a warning. Lancelot dropped Leon to the floor of the carriage and threw himself over him. Merlin just had time to leap out the door when a ball of energy hit the carriage, knocking it sideways. Glass shattered. The force threw him flat to the ground. He heard Gwen cry out and Morgana yelp and he shook his head to get rid of the ringing sound. He could see Arthur leaning over Gwen and he moved towards Morgana until she spoke between gritted teeth "I'm fine, check on the others"

The carriage was on its side, twisted metal pushing against the carriages behind. Screams were coming from the other carriages but he didn't hear anything from their one. He pulled himself up onto the top to try to reach the door and nearly banged heads with Percival.

"Merlin! We're fine. Shaken but fine. Might take us a while to get out though and I don't think you should hang around."

"We can't just leave you here"

Percival shot him a smile and his eyes flashed. "Yes you can, we're knights of Camelot, Merlin, sworn to protect the king. We'll get out and cover your retreat. Gwaine knows where to meet you. I'll make sure he stays alive to tell us"

"Ha, thanks."

They gripped forearms and he dropped back down. The noise he'd heard before, the one he still heard in nightmares, circled around high in the sky and he ran towards the others. "Arthur, we need to go. Now." He skidded to a halt by Morgana. She was having trouble standing.

"What is it?"

"Ankle, twisted I think. You better go on without me, I can stay with the knights"

"No. You come with us. We might need you"

Her mouth screwed up. "I'm not exactly helpful right now"

"I don't know, that knife is pretty scary, if we see some rabbits that is." She rolled her eyes and he took her hand to help her up. "Come on, Morgana. You're with us now. Like it or not."

She let him steady her but she was able to walk on her own towards Arthur who was standing with Gwen draped in his arms, her eyes flickering.

"To the trees, Arthur. I can help Gwen there". It was over a hundred yards to the forest but he didn't want to stay out in the open and there were too many civilians in the train. These didn't seem like Keliandra's tactics but they felt familiar.

From the distance, there came another boom and seemingly from nowhere a horde of men came running towards them, weapons raised. Merlin looked at them with his sorcerer's eye and his heart hardened. "Arthur. Do you remember the Knights of Medhir?"

Arthur's arms tightened around Gwen. "Unfortunately, I do. I thought we got rid of them."

"Looks like this is version 2.0. Run. Run Arthur! You must protect Guinevere."

Arthur turned and ran for the trees, Morgana slower behind him, casting him a glance over her shoulder.

Merlin looked to the train, torn. Percival and Lancelot dropped from the carriage, their metal bars and Percival's knife out in front of them. "Go Merlin!"

"They aren't normal warriors! These are the undead!"

Percival's eyes widened but Lancelot hoisted his bar thoughtfully and lifted his eyebrows at Merlin. He smiled. How could he have forgotten. His arm held out he said the words to strengthen their weapons. It would give them a fighting chance. " **Bregdan anweald gafeluc"** the blue glow surrounding the weapons lit up the smile on Lancelot's face, and although Percival swore, he held tight to his knife and nodded at Merlin. "Now go. Look after the king"

He ran.

#

Merlin held tight onto Morgana's hand as they ran through the bracken. He could see Arthur up ahead, seemingly not at all slowed down by the weight of Gwen in his arms. Her head was hanging back and Merlin's jaw clenched as he thought of how far there was to run. They were out of hospital territory now. He felt a pull on his arm as Morgana cried out and fell to the ground.

"My ankle! It's twisted again"

"Come on Morgana! we have to keep going." He hauled her up and dragged her limping body along next to his. Arthur and Gwen had made the cover of the trees up ahead. There were at least a dozen of the undead warriors behind them. He glanced at Morgana. "How's your magic? Do you think you could call up some mist?"

She gasped in breath and he tried to pull her up out of another stumble. "Sorry but that was always one trick of yours I couldn't master. But I think maybe I can help you slow them down if that's what you're after?"

"Those trees won't keep Gwen safe for long. I have a way to get to safety fast - but I need a distraction. I need them to be kept busy. Think you can manage it?"

His heart swelled as her proud chin lifted and the devil look he'd been missing darted into her eyes. "Just put me down and turn me around and I'll make them wish they'd never been born."

He watched as she drew herself up, ready to catch her if she toppled. Her arms held out towards their enemy she smiled grimly, 'It's been a while since I've done this. I think I might enjoy it" her eyes flashed gold and power went shooting out of her, and although it was nowhere near the strength she used to have it still toppled the large man leading the charge. Merlin waited no longer but turned away from the battle and cast his eyes up to the stormy sky. "O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!" The call of the Dragonlord tore out of his chest. He tried to keep an eye on the sky but had to catch Morgana round the shoulders as she was flung backwards from a blast of energy. His eyes flared and his other arm flung out towards those who still pursued them. A flick of the wrist sent one man flying and a turn of the head and another man flew through the air, a cry trailing him. The sound of wings met his ears and his shoulders relaxed slightly. "Aithusa! We need your aid - rid us of these men!"

The great white dragon flew over the two of them, so close he could see the scars on Aithusa's belly. Once more he wondered what had happened to the dragon to leave her so damaged. Dragon fire lit up the gathering dusk and short screams punched the air. He looked down at Morgana.

Her eyes were on the dragon. Wide open, the pupils so large her eyes looked nearly black, they gazed on the great white beast. Merlin reached up with his hand and brushed away a tear as it slid slowly down her cheek. "Hey. Hey, we're safe now. The dragon is a friend"

"She is more than a friend" Morgana's voice was choked and her grip on Merlin's arm was painful. "She is closer to me than anyone."

He felt an odd jealousy, and it wasn't for Morgana's affections but rather for the dragon. He was the last Dragonlord, born of magic as were the dragons. He and Aithusa were the last of their kind. But he remembered too how Aithusa had always been drawn to Morgana; there was kinship there also. Perhaps it was what drew him to Morgana himself.

As the smoke cleared, the shadow of the great dragon fell and she landed gracefully in front of them. Morgana pulled away from him and reluctantly he let her go. The dragon's head tilted to one side as Morgana hobbled closer to her. The big eyes squinted and she put her nose down to Morgana as if to inhale her scent. A rumble sounded from the massive chest but her voice was quiet as she said 'Morgana? Is it really you?"

Merlin heard Morgana laugh in surprised delight and felt the tightness in his chest ease. "You can speak!"

"Kilgharrah taught me. After you died, I was lost for many years. He found me again and began to heal me."

A smile grew on Merlin's face. He should have known.

He could see Morgana's hand tremble as she raised it to stroke Aithusa's muzzle. "Dearest friend, I am so happy to see you so well and so strong."

"And you, Morgana? Are you well? I see you have made your peace with the warlock"

He walked close enough that he could see Morgana smile. "I have come to an agreement with Merlin. I have yet to find peace though that is through no fault of his"

The dragon nuzzled into Morgana and she hugged it back. Merlin watched and felt all his bitterness drain away. It was right, somehow, that these two had found each other. Destiny always seemed to get involved.

"Merlin!"

Arthur. He whirled. Arthur was standing at the edge of the forest and although he was still in his blue jeans and the Lord of the Rings hoodie that Merlin had thought hilarious, with no more than a heavy branch as weapon, it was as if the centuries had peeled away and the King of Camelot was standing there in full armour, face stunned as he stared at the dragon.

"Ah, yes, the dragon. Um. Did I tell you I'm a Dragonlord?"

Arthur's eyes were certainly more dangerous than that branch at this point. "No. No you didn't. Maybe it slipped your mind?"

"Well, there's been rather a lot happening, to be fair."

Arthur glared at him and he found himself grinning back. When Arthur rolled his eyes and lowered the branch he knew he'd won. Again. Not that he was keeping score.

"I'm sure you'll be able to explain why Morgana is hugging it, but perhaps it can wait until Gwen is safe"

He nodded and jabbed his finger towards Arthur. "Yes. And the dragon can help with that." Turning back, he stepped closer to Morgana and Aithusa.

"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but I was hoping we could get a lift, or, at least, the ladies could get a lift to somewhere a bit safer so I can try to heal Gwen."

"It would be an honour to help you Emrys"

He glanced at Morgana and saw her stiffen. He reached out to grip her shoulder "Hey, it's okay, she wouldn't offer if she couldn't carry us."

Morgana's smile seemed forced and she was still stiff under his hand. "That's not it. It's nothing. Don't worry". He spent a moment longer looking at her, then cursed himself. Her ankle. She never did like admitting to pain. 'I'll get the others, as quick as I can. Here, let me help you sit first.."

"No. No it's fine really. Go, get the others"

He shot her a smile and headed to the trees. He thought he must be mistaken when he heard her voice, sounding broken, say "I had forgotten who he was".

#

She woke and there was no pain. It was warm and whatever had been set up to shelter her was an almost translucent white, making the cocoon glow as the sun shone through. She stretched out and realised that whatever she was lying against was a living beast. For a second she froze and then she remembered the dragon. Looking around with wide open eyes she tentatively placed a hand on the side of, what was its name? Aithusa. As she thought the name she heard a soft laugh in her mind. _Good morning little Queen. I trust you are better?_ A feeling of exhilaration bubbled through her and her touch on the beast's side became more sure. _Yes, thank you._ She thought the words deliberately but had the oddest feeling that the dragon could read her emotions anyway. A dragon. She had been sleeping under a dragon's wing. Moorgate and her office seemed very far away and truly part of another life.

 _What is it little Queen? Are you still hurt?_

She smiled, wonder filling her. _No, I am quite comfortable thank you._

The dragon huffed. _It is the warlock you need to thank. I merely brought you here, it was his skill that healed your wounds._

Her hand on Aithusa's side stroked downwards and the dragon leaned into her touch. _Aithusa, may I ask you something?_ The dragon lifted its wing and the harsh light forced her eyelids shut. She felt Aithusa shuffle around and when she opened her eyes the dragon's head filled her vision.

"Ask me anything, little Queen. And fear not, we are alone. The others wait outside and will not disturb your rest."

She smiled ruefully. "Thank you. I wanted to ask you about Arthur. About me and Arthur actually."

The dragon laughed. "Relationship advice is not really my strong point"

"Oh, I didn't mean that! Oh, you're joking. Of course. No, I mean the queen thing. If Arthur is destined to be king again then that must mean I'm supposed to be a queen and I really don't feel like I'm queen material."

"And your question is?"

"Is it true? Is he really the Once and Future king like Merlin says?"

Aithusa nodded her great head slowly. "Yes. Arthur is the Once and Future King"

The words hit her in the chest. She'd believed Merlin meant it but she hadn't really believed it meant anything. But the way the dragon said it there was no other option. Arthur would be king. It was his destiny.

She frowned and then smiled up at the dragon through her frown. "Guess I better start working on my royal wave then."

"So you no longer have doubts about your feelings for King Arthur?"

She sucked in a breath. "And how would you know about those?"

"Merlin told me."

Her lips pressed together, "Oh he did, did he."

The dragon laughed again. "There are no secrets between a dragon and a dragonlord, except what the dragon wants the dragonlord to figure out by himself."

She made her shoulders relax. "Well, I do worry that I won't be able to give him what he needs, but I also know that I do love him. I think it was when he was so excited about the iPod that I fell in love with him again. But as for what happens next… that I don't know."

"We can none of us know our futures, even those of us bound in prophecy cannot know the paths we tread. We can only do our best"

She smiled and felt her chest relax and her breathing even. "Very true. Thank you Aithusa, you have been very helpful."

There were sounds at the entrance and Aithusa gave her a look. Funny how she could read such an alien face but she answered the unasked question. "Yes, I'm fine, I'd like to see them please."

Aithusa drew back and Gwen got to her feet.

"Gwen? Are you awake?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

Arthur swept her into his arms, his heart beat pounding under her cheek. "Don't do that again Guinevere. I thought I'd lost you."

Morgana came in, hand on Aithusa's side. "If it hadn't been for Merlin I'm afraid you would have. How do you feel Gwen?"

"Better than ever. And not just my body. I feel, well, more myself than I did before."

The dragon's voice rumbled through the cave. "That is because of the magic. You are more awake now."

She looked from the dragon up at Arthur's face. She smiled as it filled her being - no longer just a memory of love but the real thing. Tears welled and she put her hand up to Arthur's face.

"I've missed you, Arthur."

He said nothing but the smile on his face told her everything. When he kissed her, it was as if the whole world was being reborn. And then Merlin walked in.

"Really? Is that any way to treat an invalid?"

She broke the kiss but stayed within Arthur's arms as she smiled at Merlin. "Thank you, Merlin. You were right. It is kinda cool being friends with a warlock".

He threw his head back in a shout of laughter and she noticed Morgana looking at him, the expression on her face something between hope and despair. When Morgana saw her looking she smiled and Gwen sighed inside. The armour was back on and that was never a good sign.

"So, Merlin, what now?" Arthur asked. Gwen laughed and he looked down at her puzzled.

"I'm just filing that under 'things I never thought I'd hear Arthur say""

Merlin was the only one who seemed to appreciate the joke. He raised his eyebrows at her, grin on his face, as he answered Arthur.

"I told the knights, or Gwaine at any rate, to meet us at Castrogi Brook. It's close to Caerleon but still within forested areas so we will have a better chance of staying under the radar and avoiding Keliandra". She noticed that his eyes flicked to Morgana when he said the last name. So, he wasn't as confident of her innocence as he seemed to be.

"It's not far from here, we should be able to walk and allow Aithusa to stay hidden for now".

"And then" Arthur said, his voice rumbling in his chest below her cheek. "We need to figure out how they knew we'd be on that train."

Merlin's face tightened. "Keliandra's not stupid, she's bound to have been monitoring the trains between London and Wales."

Gwen couldn't help it, she looked at Morgana who was looking at the ground, seemingly unconcerned, but her hand where it stroked Aithusa was trembling.

"Well" Gwen said, "she doesn't know where we are now and she's not going to, so we'd better focus on where we're headed."

Morgana nodded. "I'll go check the path ahead, make sure it's quiet."

Arthur kissed Gwen on her forehead and followed Morgana out. "And I'll help".

Gwen picked up her coat that had been spread on the ground for her, wrinkling her nose at the blood that stained it.

"Here," Merlin took the coat and his eyes flashed. "Abracadabra, no more stains".

"That's a very handy trick"

"Ah I'm full of useful talents."

She smiled but regarded him thoughtfully. "Merlin - "

"Don't say anything Gwen."

"Now that's not very fair after you discussed my love life with a dragon."

He grimaced and looked away. "Fair point."

"I just don't want you getting hurt."

A small smile spread on his face. "It's a bit late for that Gwen, about a millennium too late. No, don't worry about me. I'm tougher than I look, remember?"

She chuckled. "You certainly proved that more than once".

He stood back from her and looked around the cave. "It's been so long since I've been here. And even longer since I've been with all of you, yet every day I feel stronger and more connected to the past. I know nothing ever turns out the way we want it to, but I have to admit, undead knights aside, I'm enjoying myself. And as for the future - we can only do our best."

She started. "That's what Aithusa said."

"Well, I am a dragonlord, great minds think alike and all that. Come on. We'd best get to Castrogi before nightfall."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Chapter 5

The knights turned up at Castrogi not long after they themselves got there and Merlin was deeply relieved to see that they had all made it. He tended to Leon's wound while Percival and Lancelot filled Arthur in on the battle with the undead, but was careful to use only the first aid kit and not magic.

"We couldn't hold them all but those we did fight were strong warriors. If it hadn't been for Merlin enchanting our weapons we wouldn't have made it." A thrill ran through him at Lancelot's words. So often he'd said he'd not done any of it for the credit, and that was still true, but it felt good to be acknowledged. It felt even better when he looked up from Leon's head and caught Morgana's eyes. She looked proud of him and he smiled.

There wasn't a lot of food, just a few bites of bread and some crisps. He insisted that Morgana and Gwen have the chocolate that he found at the bottom of his bag, although he noticed Morgana quietly passed some to a mournful Gwaine.

As the night closed in the cold settled damply on them. They huddled together, the puffer jackets and scarfs they'd left in the train a forgotten luxury now. He looked around. "You know, I can probably help."

"Do you have an electric blanket in that pack?"

"No, something better."

He pushed up and walked a few steps away. He reached out his hand and looked hesitantly at the knights. Lancelot was smiling back at him and gave him a small nod. It seemed to release something long held back and he held out his hand and spoke the words to make the fire dance. A small flame grew from his palm. As always, the beauty of the magic calmed him. He cast a glance at the knights; Gwaine was grinning and Percival gave a small smile and shrug. Leon frowned and looked down at his feet. Arthur wasn't quite smiling but his eyes were, and it looked like pride.

Gwaine leaned back and stretched out his legs with a groan. "Good trick Merlin, but that won't keep us warm"

"No, but this will." He closed his hand over the flame then opened his hand and shot the fire onto the earth, at once a large fire sprang up and he could feel the warmth that spread through the clearing deep in his bones. Gwaine jumped and swore as the fire came close to his outstretched feet.

He pursed his lips and cocked his head. "Yes, I think that'll do"

He hadn't noticed Arthur walking quietly towards him and jumped when the other man's hand touched his shoulder. "Thanks Merlin, and well done. I have to say, it's nice to see you being useful at long last".

He rolled his eyes but his smile spread. To be able to perform magic in front of his friends filled him with inexpressible joy.

Leon stood up slowly and Merlin caught his eyes until the other man looked away and then took his bag to sit further away from the fire. The bubble of happiness inside him turned into a rock in his stomach. Gwaine glanced at him under his lashes. "Don't worry about Sir Leon. He's not so comfortable with the magic but it will pass. Come, sit and enjoy your fire. It's a good one"

Arthur threw a stick onto the fire and sparks danced.

"Merlin"

"Yes, my lord?"

"You showed me, when you told me of your magic, you made the sparks into a dragon"

He held his breath and nodded once when Arthur looked at him.

"Could you do that again?"

"What, now?" in front of everyone? Was Arthur nuts?

"Yeah, now. Why not?".

Gwen leaned into Arthur and caught Merlin's eyes, looking first at him and then flicking her eyes at the knights and back again. "I think that'd be great, Merlin"

"Ha. Okay then." He loosened his suddenly tight shoulders, very aware of all eyes on him.

His arm extended he held out his hand as if coaxing the flames "Draeca" His eyes flashed and the sparks slowly rose, coalescing into the shape of a dragon hovering above the fire. He felt his face relax. This was one of his favourite things to do. He flicked a glance at Arthur and seeing him smiling, entranced, a burden he didn't know he was carrying floated away. He smiled with mischief. "Hleapan springan draeca gemanigfieldan"

Gasps sounded from around the fire as the dragon split into several smaller dragons who began to leap and dance around the flames. Lancelot laughed and clapped. "Bravo, Merlin!"

Through the firelight he saw Gwaine and Percival watching, their faces like those of little children watching a traveling show. Even Leon was looking, although he stayed distant and wary. Morgana walked over and sat next to him. She was quiet, had been so all day. He watched her profile as she watched the dragons dance.

"It's beautiful" she said quietly, eyes still on the spiralling sparks. "I never saw magic used like this. I only ever seemed to use it to hurt or destroy". Her eyes met his fleetingly and he wished he could get rid of the shadow behind her smile. He flicked a glance at Gwen, comfortable within Arthur's embrace as he stroked her hair absently. She'd tried to warn him but he was beyond that now. Couldn't he create his own destiny? His lips lifted in a smile and his eyebrows quirked. What the hell. "Blostmian" he whispered, and a smaller spiral of sparks drew closer to where Morgana sat; she drew back slightly but held out a finger. He let the spiral gentle itself around her hand before it came to a stop in front of her. A golden blossom now floated in front of her and she drew in a breath. She turned a shining face to his and he really didn't care anymore what anyone else thought. What was his gift for if not to make those he cared about happy?

When he spoke, his words were not just for her ears although it was to her he spoke. "Magic comes from the earth itself. It is in every living creature, it is what binds us all together" the dragons danced their way over to him and he set them spiralling above his head, looking up through them at the starry night sky. Peace filled him. "Magic is neither good nor evil, it is how you use it and what you use it for that matters".

"Like a sword" Arthur said quietly.

Surprised, he nodded. "Yes, very like a sword"

Lancelot leaned forward. "And, just like a mercenary can become a knight, surely a magic user can change their habits?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes. I believe so".

Morgana let out a sigh that seemed to come from her boots. "We can only hope that destiny sees it that way too."

Her hand stole out towards his and he took it gently.

"Maybe we should start telling destiny where to go."

Her fingers were warm in his and her smile was a gift. The future was still uncertain but the present was what mattered now.

#

He filled the water bottles, listening to the birds welcome the dawn. It was a dull cold day but the water was clean, thanks to the sprites, and the bird song made him remember a smile in the firelight, made him remember hope. Footfalls sounded behind him and he wasn't surprised when Arthur stopped next to him.

"Is this the creek?"

"Yep. Lancelot was the one who saw the sprites but it was here they healed me."

"Are they still here?"

He shook the water off the last bottle and stood. "Sometimes. They're a little more active now, but still shy."

Arthur nodded, eyes on the water as if he could see one.

He packed the bottles into a rucksack, eyeing the other man. "I don't think you came all the way down here to talk to me about sprites though did you?"

His friend shook his head slowly. "No. It's not a pleasant task, and it wasn't pleasant back in the past but we need to face facts." Arthur's voice was insistent.

Merlin dropped the bag, crossed his arms and stared at his king. "Meaning what, exactly?"

"Someone knew we were on that train. That someone told Keliandra. The only people who knew our plans were the ones we got on the train with. Leon's right, Morgana is the likely suspect."

He looked away over the stream but felt Arthur's eyes still on his face.

"I know you feel bad for what you see as your betrayal of her, but it seems as if you're getting fonder of her than is safe" Merlin's shoulders hunched as if to push off the words but Arthur's voice, though gentle, showed no mercy. "She appears to have changed but I can't help but remember the many years that she fooled us all"

His eyes shot back to Arthur's. "Not me. She never fooled me. I knew that she was plotting, I knew when we were losing her, I just couldn't tell anyone because, well, because no-one would have believed me"

Arthur's eyes softened. "As you will not believe me when I say I have concerns about her loyalty"

He held his friend's gaze for a moment then sank his head into his hands with a groan. "I know. Blast you, I'm worried too. But, Arthur I can't help myself." His head lifted and his hands ran through his hair, leaving it sticking up all over the place. "It's like I'm finally allowed to love her but even now when there's no real barrier I'm not allowed."

Arthur's brows drew close together. "What do you mean, 'Finally'?"

Merlin leaned back against a tree with a sigh. "Finally. Do you remember when you caught me taking flowers to her chamber, and I told you that it was just to cheer her up and you warned me that nothing could ever come of it? That she couldn't even be friends with a servant, let alone anything else. And I know you were really speaking about you and Gwen but I knew then that the way I felt about her was a fool's dream, nothing more. And then I lost even her friendship and my world became a very dark place."

He looked out over the creek again. The clouds were grey again and the water was dark and deep.

"Even when I gave my heart to Freya it wasn't my whole heart. Morgana has always belonged there. So yes, Arthur, 'finally'."

Arthur reached out a hand towards him. "I understand Merlin, I do."

Anger sparked in him and he pushed off the tree to face his king. "No. No you don't understand Arthur. If you want to try to understand how it feels then remember how you felt when you thought that Gwen betrayed you, remember that pain when you hated her but loved her and couldn't trust her and couldn't understand how she could betray your trust? Now take that and have it close to your heart every day for 7 years, not being able to tell anyone, or even admit it to yourself. Then imagine yourself killing Gwen for the second time, taking your sword and plunging it into her heart, knowing that you were killing your own heart. Knowing that although you did it to save your friend, your brother, to save your very kingdom, you would never forgive yourself. Now imagine that although you saved the kingdom you couldn't save your friend. Imagine how for the centuries of loneliness that followed, you wondered if any of it had been for any purpose at all.' He paused to rub his palms into his eyes, tears damp on his cheeks. The words felt stuck in his throat. "Now imagine that after a thousand years spent mostly alone you met her again. That this time it seemed like things might be different. But not only did she remember how you killed her, twice, but you still don't know if you can trust her." He stared at Arthur, whose eyes were also bright with tears. "If you can imagine all that, then you might begin to understand what I'm feeling, but until then you need to not tell me that you understand."

He stooped quickly and grabbed the bag and shouldered it, wiping his face on his sleeve. "Anyway. It's getting late in the morning and we've got to go". Walking away from the creek he heard Arthur sigh. He breathed in the crisp air. It felt cleansing. Arthur was behind him, a hand hesitantly on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Merlin. For everything."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and summoned up a smile. "Nah, nothing you could do. Nothing you can do. Come on."

They were nearly at the campsite before his heart had slowed to normal. The noise of their friends packing up filled the air and Gwen's soft laugh was a calm counterpoint to the thoughts in his head. As they got closer he glanced at Arthur. He'd meant what he said, it wasn't his fault. "Arthur..."

His king's compassionate eyes met his.

'Thank you, Arthur. For trying."

Arthur's familiar smile broke out and Merlin braced as he cuffed his shoulder. 'Anytime, Merlin, that's what friends are for".

#

Arthur held up his hand and the others stopped. The track was overgrown in front of them and they had been going slowly. The trees around them were heavy and green and the sunlight filtered through, dappling the path ahead. The fresh scents of the forest floor didn't indicate any other presence but he had a sudden feeling that they weren't alone. They hadn't been quiet, secure in their belief that no-one knew where they were, and he thought now that had been a mistake. He frowned, wishing Merlin hadn't gone off with Aithusa. He hefted the steel bar in his hand and gestured for them to spread out. The knights formed a phalanx with him at the head, the women behind them. He was conscious that although Morgana had her knife, Gwen had nothing. "Percival," It wasn't quite a whisper, whispers were louder than people thought, but he kept it quiet. "Give Guinevere a knife"

The track ran downwards through a small gully and he eyed the ridges thoughtfully. If there was an ambush this is where it would occur. They could leave the track but he really had no idea where to go - Merlin had simply told them to follow the track and meet him at the old barrows. He clenched his jaw. Into the gully it was then. He motioned them forward again and flicked his hand up from his eyes to the ridges, knowing that the knights would be wary.

"Arthur!"

He frowned behind him at Morgana. "What?" he mouthed.

"This is foolish. We should turn back or turn off the path."

"I know, but there is no other choice".

"At least send a couple of knights up on the ridge. Or me. I can go."

His eyes flicked involuntarily to Leon. Damn. She'd seen. "No, you should stay with us, but you're right, someone should go. Lancelot, Percival" he gestured and they nodded, trotting quietly towards the ridges before they split, one going either side. He turned away from her accusing glare. He wanted more than anything to trust her again but it wasn't as easy for him as it seemed to be for Merlin.

They picked their way through the overgrown underbrush, eyes tracking around them. The ridges rose steeply up, funnelling them down into the gully, and he gripped his steel bar tightly. Merlin had promised to find them weapons at some point but until then he was stuck with this.

They were half way through the gully when a shout sounded above them, followed by the sound of metal on metal. "To me!" the knights fell into formation around him as soldiers jumped from the southern ridge, falling on them like a swarm. Despite the numbers of them, Arthur's spirits lifted. These were no undead soldiers and they were armed with swords and crossbows. He knew how to fight these men. He swung his metal bar in a clunky figure 8. The first thing he was going to do was get one of their swords.

Sidestepping the rush of a heavy-set man with a mace he swung the bar to crush the man's ribcage. His assailant fell forward and Gwen was at his side, slashing down with her knife. The man's mace dropped from nerveless fingers and Arthur's eyes sparked. His queen remembered how to fight. He scooped the mace up and started it swinging. "Gwen, see if you can get through to the other side. Morgana, go with her." They both nodded and set off, knives out and he sighed in relief. He'd expected an argument, from Morgana if not from Gwen, but as Morgana pushed in front of Gwen and her arm swung out and she struck a deadly blow to the gut of a man who'd rushed them, he realised she was protecting Gwen.

Percival let out a bellow and jumped down from the ridge, landing on an unfortunate warrior. The crunch was audible. He leaped up and used his bar to crush the face of the next man. Collecting a sword from each man he threw one to Gwaine. "Here you are, little man, try that on for size"

Arthur's mace knocked over another man, colliding with his windpipe, but a sharp pain in his arm caused his instincts to kick in and he dropped and rolled before the blade could strike more deeply. Scrambling to his feet he snatched at the sword of his fallen foe. He swung it a couple of times to get the feel of it. His assailant was a grim man dressed in the same black they all were. The man rushed him and he swung the sword up and blocked, shoving him away and swinging the sword back to the man's unprotected side. His foe leaped back just in time and the sword point scraped along his chest, lightly tearing the stiff fabric of the black vest. Snarling, the man launched himself at Arthur, who ducked, letting the momentum of the man's swing carry him around. He kicked at the back of the man's knees, toppling him to the ground. His sword point was at the man's neck in seconds. "Who sent you? What is it that you want?"

The man smiled grimly into the earth. "Your death, Pendragon". The assassin turned swiftly and the dagger came flying up but Arthur had seen the man's hand creep towards his hip and he plunged his borrowed sword into the man's chest.

Pulling the sword out he turned to see that all their foes had been accounted for, Percival was pulling something out of an enemy's jacket and Leon was swinging his own new sword smiling absently at something the grinning Gwaine was saying. For a second Arthur saw them as they had been, not in jeans and sweatshirts but in the armour of the knights of Camelot. He blinked and they came back into focus.

"Collect all the weapons you can carry. We'll move out as fast as we can."

His triumph was interrupted as Lancelot fell from the other ridge, landing heavily and groaning. "More men, Sire! We are outflanked!"

Looking up at the thickly wooded ridge his heart sank. There were at least another 20 men leaping down the rocky slope. At least the women were safe. His eyes following his thoughts he looked to the end of the gully and saw Morgana running back, Gwen on her heels. Damn them! Could they not stay in safety?

The new enemy split, half turning towards Arthur, Percival and Lancelot, and the others heading to the women, Leon and Gwaine in front of them.

His knights by his side he waited for the men to rush them, shutting out the sounds of metal from beyond them. He had to trust that Gwen could look after herself and the knights would die before they let harm come to her.

Meeting the onslaught with a sweeping arc of his sword he pushed one man back and cut at the legs of another with his undercut. Percival still held his metal bar in his left hand and knocked one man over with a blow to the head before swinging his sword round and blocking the strike of another man. Lancelot fought with speed and precision and Arthur turned to block and strike another man. There were good but their enemy was many. He saw more men clamber down the ridge; how many were there? These went straight for the others and with a sinking stomach he heard their shout "take the Queen, leave the others dead".

His blows seemed to gain strength and he beat back another three men in quick succession, his arm and body operating on instinct and training alone, his mind focused wholly on getting to Guinevere. He heard a scream and a shout from ahead and he thrust forward with a forceful blow to his assailant's face, knocking him backwards. He ran the short distance towards the melee ahead when he saw the men in front of him fly backwards, landing with their heads crashing on the ground, knocking them out. Morgana. She was getting stronger. One struggled to his knees and fumbled a dagger out, throwing it towards Gwen. Morgana's knife came up and struck it aside and then her eyes flashed gold, her hand clenching and twisting on air as the man clutched at his throat falling in convulsions to the ground.

His heart sank as he saw Leon turn to face Morgana, his sword out. She in turn slowly lifted her knife towards the knight, head on one side. He tried to sheathe the sword he now held as he ran over before remembering that jeans didn't have a sheath. He put the point down as he reached where Gwaine was now in between the two, hands out and trying to get Leon to back down.

"She's a witch, Gwaine, and her power is coming back. What's to stop her turning it against us when she feels like it?"

"Leon, don't be an ass, she's not going to use it on us, she's on our side". Gwaine's words were firm and Arthur noticed Morgana's eyes flicker in what was probably the same surprise he felt. She kept her knife out though and there was a tight, strange look to her face.

"Gwen, are you okay?" His voice shook a little and she tried to smile as she looked towards him, as she did her eyes opened wide.

"Look out!" Gwen shouted. Arthur whirled but Morgana was quicker. She flicked up a golden gaze and the warrior about to attack Lancelot from behind went flying, unfortunately so did Lancelot, caught in her magic. He heard her gasp but didn't turn around until he'd seen Percival run the man through and then pick up a dazed, but otherwise unhurt, Lancelot. Morgana's face was stricken and her eyes were shadowed. Her gaze, when it went to Leon, was no longer defiant. She seemed lost, somehow, and he found himself reaching out to her.

"It was a mistake, Morgana. You saved his life. You saved Gwen's life."

She said nothing, lowering her knife and stepping back. She wouldn't meet his eyes and he frowned. Maybe Merlin could talk to her.

"Come on, we've stayed here long enough. We need to get to these barrows before sundown."

He caught Morgana's glance straying behind her shoulder at the fallen men as they left. Gwaine caught his eye and gave him a small salute before positioning himself next to Morgana and guiding her forward with a hand beneath her elbow.

Leon said nothing as they passed but once he was at the back with Arthur he said softly "And again they found us. I know it's hard, Sire, but we need to face the fact that there must be a traitor amongst us, and there's only one who fits that description".

Curse him but the man was right. "I know. But I have to hold to trust, Leon, and I trust Merlin's judgement. She saved our lives today, why do that if she was the traitor?"

"I fear you won't like the answer, Arthur. She did it to make sure we did trust her, so we drop our guard. There can be no other explanation".

Leon was right, he didn't like the answer.

Walking on he let his feet find the way and tried to figure it all out.

#

Merlin returned to the barrow with a stack of dry wood, smiling to himself at the many memories it brought back. Winking at Gwen as he put the wood down next to her he glanced over to where Morgana was. Where she should be. His gut twisting slightly, he walked to Leon, who sat closest to where Morgana's jacket lay. He knew that Leon was guarding Morgana, no matter what they all said about trust. "Where's Morgana?"

Leon stood up, placing his hands on his hips. "She had a nightmare. Another one. Seemed bad, she said she needed to walk so off she went"

"And you just let her, without following? Doesn't seem like you to relax your guard Leon"

Leon's face was stone and his eyes were dark. "She didn't seem like she was in any state to make trouble. I'm not her babysitter to follow her to dry her tears. I'll leave that to you Merlin"

His jaw tightened and he could feel his fist clenching when Gwaine walked up.

"Is this about Morgana?"

There was something in his voice that made his heart sink.

"What is it Gwaine?"

"She was running that way, headed to the river, looked mighty upset. I tried to call her back but she either didn't hear or didn't want to hear. I came to find you"

Merlin set off at a run. He had a terrible feeling about the river. The magic had been particularly strong in this forest. If Morgana's nightmare had brought everything back he didn't know what she'd do.

He found her by the water hole. Her hand over her mouth, hair streaming behind her she waded into the water, he could see her long woollen jumper dragging at the surface and even at this distance the tears streaking down her cheeks were plain to his eyes. He thought his heart might burst but he sped up, his legs moved faster than he ever remembered running but he was terrified he would be too late. She was up to her torso now and he made the bank and plunged straight into the water, calling after her.

A hand flung out behind her back and she looked at him over her shoulder

"No Merlin! Stay back! It's too late. It's much too late now."

"Morgana! No! It isn't! I won't let it be, not this time!"

He was so close now and when she fell into the water, eyes on his until the last, he took a deep breath and dived after her. She fought him but his eyes flashed gold and he drew strength from the earth. He pulled her from the water and didn't let go until he'd dragged her onto the bank and she'd collapsed, all fight gone from her.

"Why?" he hadn't meant to shout but he was suddenly deeply angry "Why, Morgana?"

She lay on her back, her eyes wide and staring, her mouth working as if to hold in a cry.

He dropped to his knees beside her and stretched out a trembling hand to brush the hair from her face.

His voice gentler now his terror was subsiding he asked her again. "Why would you go? Why would you leave me again Morgana?"

Her hand crept up to his. It was ice cold from the water but from something else too and he brought his other hand up to enclose it in his palms. Hoping to warm her with sheer will alone. Tears welled out of her eyes and her voice was a ragged whisper.

"I remembered it all. I can't stop remembering. I remember the pain I caused. It makes my nightmares seem like daydreams. And my ordinary, inoffensive life now seems like the dream, as if it was never really real. I remember each day as if it was yesterday. How can I look at Gwen when I remember how I laughed as I tortured her? The hatred I felt for Arthur was never really real and yet I wanted him dead so badly. And now I look at him and he is kind but I know he remembers also."

He disentangled a hand from hers and slid his arm round her shoulders, lifting her from the cold ground into the warmth of his embrace. Her hair was soft against his chin and he murmured a charm to try and dry them both out. She shuddered and turned her face into his chest

"How can I let you hold me when in my head I hear you scream as I set the Fomorroh on you to tear into your mind and force you to try and kill your closest friend. When I see your body as I kicked it over the ledge and left you to die. How can I ask you to forgive me when I can never forgive myself?". Her hold on his hand was painful but he didn't want her to ever let go.

"Morgana, have you forgotten that you died by my hand? You aren't the only one who seeks forgiveness"

She shook her head, the silky tresses of her wet hair falling over his arm. "You were always true to your friends and to yourself Merlin. I not only betrayed my friends, I lost myself. I became what I always most hated in Uther. But I was worse, worse than him by far."

Merlin sighed. "You were certainly scarier. Super scary"

She stilled and then he swore he felt her lips curve in a smile against him. "I doubt you were ever scared of me, Merlin. You were the bravest man in Camelot."

"Not the bravest, just the most foolish"

"And more powerful than I ever was"

"Well, maybe. But like I said, you were super scary. But do you know what the hardest bit was?"

He waited for her murmured "what?" before he continued.

"Never actually wanting to hurt you." His arm tightened around her as he felt her fingers clutch at his shirt. "I never wanted to use my magic to harm you so I always tried to avoid it. Killing you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. If it hadn't been to save Arthur I never could have done it" He looked down at her head.

"I know you don't realise, Morgana, but I've loved you for over a thousand years. You don't need to seek my forgiveness because I already forgave you centuries ago."

She stilled completely in his arms before she relaxed enough to embrace him gently but briefly. She pulled back and he let her go, his hand going to his mouth. He hadn't meant to say it. Knew it was too soon. But then it had been over a millennium so 'too soon' was a relative term.

Her mouth turned up in a little smile but he could see the tension in her shoulders. Though he sighed inwardly and his heart seemed to burn he smiled brightly. "Don't worry, I don't expect anything. I just guess I really wanted to say it. I've never been able to before. It doesn't have to change anything."

Her smile grew and touched her eyes. "But it's changed everything, Merlin. I don't deserve such love. But I hope that one day I might." She pushed herself to her feet and he followed suit.

"Come on then, let's get you back to a fire and warm. It's cold out here".

Her smile trembled. "You're always trying to warm me up Merlin. I hope it works"


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Chapter 6

The town was still and quiet, nothing was moving on the roads and even the glow from the streetlights was dim and muted. Aithusa had warned him that there were likely to still be those in Caerleon who would be waiting to find them. She'd also confirmed that Mordred was still a threat; with Arthur returned it was as if all the prophecies were set back in motion. He'd tried not to think about what that meant for Morgana.

They walked down the street and he missed the old cobbles. The new pavements looked cleaner but so much of the charm of the towns had been concreted over. Hunching into his thin jacket he wished again he'd packed a scarf.

A noise to their left had his head moving but before he'd turned Arthur had flung out an arm, grabbing him by the jacket and hauling him sideways. A knife thwacked into the wood of the wall where he'd been standing just before. It was a standard knife but the handle was dark and the sigil on it raised questions in his mind. That was not Keliandra's work.

"Move, Merlin! For god's sake!" Arthur pushed him and another knife hit. Ah, just like old times. Arthur strode forward, pulling his sword from his hastily constructed belt scabbard. Their six assailants stalked silently from the shadows. Merlin stood back, rubbing his elbow where he'd cracked it on the ground. Arthur swung his sword and slashed at the first man. The other warrior parried and shoved Arthur back, two more men surrounded him. Merlin put out a hand and whispered "sweord **weorþan** wyrm ator wundian" and the two men at the back shuddered and gasped as their weapons turned to snakes, writhing up their arms. They stifled their screams and he frowned. They were very professional; more questions in his mind.

Arthur was winning against his opponents; he had one man down and was turning to face the others when 5 more slid out of the shadows. Merlin rolled his eyes.

These were no magic users. Merlin flicked a hand and they went flying, crashing into walls and lamp posts and falling heavily onto the ground. Silence returned. Arthur straightened from his battle crouch, bemusement on his face turning to something Merlin couldn't quite place.

"Right then. That was a short fight".

Merlin shrugged, trying to get rid of the discomfort of Arthur's expression. "Well, we have places to be, can't hang around all night playing soldiers."

Arthur stared at him and then down at the men, not all of them dead but all of them no more threat. "You could have done that at the start, couldn't you?"

"Yeah, but you looked like you were having fun."

Arthur's brows raised. "Fun?"

"Yeah, you know, getting some practice in and all that." Arthur kept staring at him. "Look, I meant what I said, we can't hang around all night." Sirens sounded in the distance. "In fact, that sounds like the police so we really have to go"

He grabbed Arthur's jacket and tugged him behind him as he ran down a side street, hoping to get as far from the police and inconvenient questions as he could.

They slowed to a walk and he cast a glance at Arthur, who was still frowning. Oh well, whatever was bugging him he'd get over it. Meeting Elyan would really give him something to frown about.

Elyan was not in the nicer part of town. Caerleon was small, but just like in any town there was a dodgy part, and that's where they'd find him. Merlin had tried to talk to him once but had barely escaped without being put into a hostel. He'd had to produce his University ID before Elyan's zealousness abated. Thinking about it, he had probably looked like a homeless old man for more than a few centuries. Eccentricity had its downsides.

The problem wasn't going to be finding Elyan, the problem was going to be getting him to accept what he'd see as supernatural and possibly demonic. Religion was a great blessing for many, but it had been hell for those with magic.

By the river edge there was a small shipping station and under the awnings there were gathered the rags and tags of society.

"Merlin, who are these people?"

"The homeless."

"Homeless? Like vagrants? Why are there so many? Britain seems so very wealthy now"

"That's a good question, Arthur. Many of these lost their homes when the economy collapsed, or were evicted because they couldn't pay their rent. A few are junkies or alcoholics - those are the ones Elyan works with."

"Junky?"

"Addicted to drugs. Um, kind of like being reliant on a potion that makes you feel invincible, or stops you from caring about how bad your life is, but the more you take it the more you need and pretty soon that's all you can think about". The sadness and horror in Arthur's eyes mirrored his own. "It's a tragedy, but many see them as criminals and lowlifes. Elyan tries to change that, get them into care."

"He was always a good man"

"Yes. That he was. He understands what it's like to be on the kicking end of destiny."

They were closer now and the people around the small fire in the tin fell silent and watchful.

He walked up to one of the burliest looking men there, someone who hopefully wouldn't be intimidated. "Hi, we're looking for Elyan Smithson, has he been around this evening?"

The man stared at him and then Arthur. He could almost see the scales in his gaze as he measured them up. "Not yet. Why do you ask? There's not many look for him on purpose."

"We were wanting to talk to him, that's all."

The man shrugged. "Talking's usually done in cafes for the likes of you. What's your friend up to?"

Merlin turned his head and saw Arthur approaching a woman holding a child tightly on her knee. The sword might be slung mostly out of sight behind his hip but he was still an imposing sight. He tutted and turned to follow Arthur when the man he'd been speaking to grabbed his elbow. "Those sirens we heard - know anything about them?"

He grimaced a little. "There was a scuffle or something on the high street. Gang issues maybe."

The man's face was set but his eyes relaxed. "Gangs. I see. Go take care of your friend, make sure he doesn't upset anyone."

Smiling maniacally he held out his hands. "I'll try"

Arthur was pulling out some food from his backpack and handing it to the mother. Her eyes were still very wide but she reached out a hand to take it. Merlin stopped about a foot away and watched as his king passed his water bottle to another young man who'd sidled closer. He was talking quietly to them, giving them the dignity that had been stripped from them.

The little girl looked up at him from her mother's lap, bread in her fist. "So, what's your name then?"

"Arthur"

"Like the king?"

Merlin inhaled sharply and watched Arthur's profile. It took him a moment but when he replied he bowed his head in a regal manner. "Exactly like the king."

The young man with the water bottle clutched tightly in his head leaned on the wall next to the family; the mother looked up at him from the corners of her eyes but Arthur's presence seemed to calm her and she didn't move away.

"Wasn't King Arthur supposed to return in Britain's time of need? Something like that. And there was that old wizard, Merlin. I always liked those stories. My mum used to read them to me".

The mother looked up at the young man and something in her expression softened. She broke off part of the bread that Arthur had given her and gave it to the young man, who took it with an unpractised smile. Merlin's heart lifted. This was Arthur's power, his gift. He'd always wanted to help and this unity, fragile as it still was, showed what he was here for.

The noise of a van pulling up brought all eyes round. When they saw who it was the mother and the young man both sighed. Merlin cast them a glance. "Not a fan?"

"He's very kind" said the woman.

"Yeah but a pain in the bum." Interjected the youth. "Always trying to get you to repent your sins. As if that's going to get me a job."

His mouth twisting in a sympathetic half smile he turned back, stifling his own sigh. Elyan. This was not going to be easy.

Arthur's eyes had lit up at the sight of his brother-in-law, and he would have started walking towards him except for Merlin's hand on his arm.

"Just wait, Arthur. He will come to us"

He was proved right. Elyan had stopped to talk to the burly man who seemed to be the closest his motley group had to a leader. They spoke and Elyan followed the man's pointing finger to see them. As he walked towards them Merlin tried to put the most disarming smile on his face.

"I understand you were wanting to speak to me. You don't look like you belong down here. Do I know you?"

"Well, that's a yes and a no. My name is Merlin."

Gasps behind him made him close his eyes briefly. Oops. He'd forgotten about Arthur's new friends.

"Funny name. And who's your mate?"

"Well, that would be Arthur."

"Oh, very funny, think you're a comedian do you?"

He sighed. "No, just telling you the truth. For what it's worth, I did try to be a comedian once but I was told that I shouldn't. Kind of like now, I guess."

Arthur's eyes were on him and he felt the expectant silence of the people behind them.

"Uh, be that as it may, I am Merlin and I have come to find you, Elyan Smith's Son, because you are needed."

"Are you from that new refuge?"

"No. I am from the past. And the present. Just, from always really". He pressed his lips together. This would be so much better without an audience to put him off. "Arthur, some help?"

"Elyan, what we have to say to you is of a private nature. Is there somewhere we can go to speak?"

The former knight laughed. "Good try, I'm not going anywhere with you jokers. Although" he frowned and looked hard at Arthur. "I'd swear I've seen you before."

Arthur smiled brightly and turned to Merlin. "Back to you Merlin. I think drastic measures might be called for."

He stared hard at Arthur. "Drastic measures? Really Sire? Here?"

"He called him Sire!" came a whispered voice behind him and he shook his head abruptly.

"Fine. If it goes wrong just remember it was your call."

"Fine. Get on with it then"

He sighed. "Elyan, you are more than you seem. You are the reincarnation of Elyan, son of Tom the Blacksmith, brother in law to King Arthur, knight of Camelot. We need you to awaken and to join your king once more."

Silence reigned for nearly a full minute. Then Elyan shook his head and fished out his cell phone.

"You must be off your meds. Look, give me a minute and I'll make a call and someone will come down and pick you up alright? Just, stay calm okay?"

Arthur murmured in his ear. "I said drastic, Merlin. It's going to take more than that."

"Then back off and let me do it"

He loosened his neck and shoulders. The rest of the homeless group were paying them no attention but he could feel the avid attention of the three behind them like bores in his back. It was too late to ask them to go and Elyan clearly wouldn't come with them. There was no other choice.

He brought his hands up slowly and let the magic fill him. "Risan folgian cyning. Elyan, awaken and serve your king." The magic shot out but he reined it in so that rather than knocking Elyan down it wound round him gently. Elyan's knees gave way and his phone fell from his slack hand as he collapsed onto the ground.

"What've you done to him?" The youth didn't sound angry, more intrigued.

"It's alright" Arthur's voice was firm and gentle. "He's just needing a reminder of who he really is".

Elyan rolled over and Merlin dropped to his knees beside him. The other man brought his hand up to his face as if seeing it for the first time. He looked at Merlin and his brows drew together and then he shuddered. "You have magic". He recoiled, his face contorting. "A sorcerer, kin of demons and devils. You betray your king, Merlin!"

Words wouldn't come. This reaction was a hundred times worse than Leon's; Elyan's natural distrust of magic joining with his newer strict religious ideas.

Arthur dropped down by his side, gripping his shoulder briefly and then reaching out to help Elyan to sit up. "You must not say that, Elyan. Merlin is my most loyal friend."

Elyan's eyes were wild and he snatched at Arthur's arm. "Sire? Is it you? What is happening?"

"Calm yourself, Elyan. Come, sit and catch your breath and Merlin will explain."

He pulled his hand away from where it had been curled in a fist in front of his mouth. "You died Elyan, a very long time ago, protecting your sister and your king. Arthur died too, from a battle wound. Guinevere ruled Camelot alone, aided by Percival and Leon but they all died eventually, becoming legend and myth. But now the time of the Once and Future King has arrived. Arthur is here to save Britain, but he will need the help of all of his knights. Will you serve him?"

"Wow" whispered the little girl behind him. Ah. He kept forgetting about them.

Elyan shook his head as if to get water out of his ears. "Sire, this is all strange and I seem to remember two lives, one where I had no sister and no family and one where my sister was a Queen. I do not quite know what is happening but I will serve you to my last breath"

Arthur clasped his knight's arm firmly and Merlin felt a grin spread on his face. Then Elyan cast a look up at him and his smile died. "But, Sire, must we consort with sorcerers? Magic brings nothing but trouble. You should know that better than anyone."

"Perhaps in the past, but -"

Elyan interrupted him, his head shaking emphatically. "This isn't right. I'm sorry Arthur but you shouldn't be using magic, allowing Merlin of all people to use it. It's evil. It's against God."

"Magic is not an evil, Elyan. Merlin is certainly not evil. Does he look evil?"

He tried to look as unassuming and friendly as possible; Arthur grimaced at him. "Idiotic maybe but not evil. It's going to be very strange for a while, but you will remember who you are. I promise you that."

His king stood and pulled Elyan up to stand next to him. The knight's brown eyes were troubled.

"Sire, you know that I would die for you. But I need to think about this. About the magic." His mouth screwed up as he said the last word and Merlin had to fight to not roll his eyes. For heaven's sake, magic was everywhere. What did he think his god used?

Arthur nodded, his mouth pursed. "Yes. Fair enough. We can give you one night. We will meet you outside the city by the ring road at dawn tomorrow if you choose to join us."

The knight nodded and bowed. "Thank you, my lord." Fumbling his keys out of his pocket he walked back to his van, head down and avoiding any contact with people. At the van, he hesitated and looked back for a moment before he got in and drove away.

"Well, all things considered I don't think that went too badly eh Merlin?"

He raised his eyebrows and stared at his king.

"Right. Well, I'm sure he'll come 'round and we'll see him tomorrow. We best find somewhere to sleep. But first.." Arthur turned to look behind him and he turned too, arms still crossed over his chest. Three shining faces gazed at them.

"Are you really King Arthur?" the little girl whispered, and though her mother tried half-heartedly to shush her it was clear she too was desperate to know. To believe.

Arthur bowed down on one knee and took the girl's hand.

"Yes, I really am Arthur Pendragon. The once and future king of Camelot."

The belief that shone in their eyes made Merlin's own eyes well up. He'd not thought it would be this easy.

The youth stepped forward as Arthur stood, having placed a kiss upon the hand of the young maiden.

"Can I join you?" his eagerness gave way to a youthful awkwardness, and Arthur smiled. "I mean, I can't do much, but I've no future here and I've always wanted to do something important. I think you're going to do something very important." His face turned to Merlin. "You said he was going to save Britain?"

He nodded, eyebrow quirking at Arthur's obvious embarrassment. "Yes, I believe he will."

"From what?" It was a genuine query but it stopped him in his tracks.

"Uh, just, generally saving it. From things it needs saving from."

Arthur turned a disgusted glance on him and he shrugged.

The mother stepped into the breach, "Well that's a long list, you'll be busy for some time and I'd say you will need all the help you can get. If it was just me I had to look after I'd be offering to join you also."

Arthur smiled again and his eyes looked bright in the firelight. "You are both very brave, and very noble. But for now, we must fight alone. I do, however, have a task for you both."

Without warning he turned and drew his sword, holding it aloft in the firelight. Gasps and murmurs spread as people tried to shrink back into the walls they leaned on.

"Arthur, what are you doing?"

His king ignored his hissed question, looking out over the people until they quieted, seeing he was no immediate threat, and feeling the magnetism of his gaze.

"I am Arthur Pendragon, Once and Future King of Camelot. You would once have been people in my kingdom, under my care and protection. You should not be living like this; those who rule you should not allow such distress and poverty within their land. I promise you that I will change this. I cannot do much at present but the time will come when you will be cared for and protected. I will give you this now as my pledge." He kept his sword aloft and caught Merlin's eye.

"A little help here Merlin. We need to give them something, they need care."

He tried to take in what he was being asked to do. It wasn't something he'd ever done before. His mind dredged up a memory. 1142, the height of the war between Matilda and Stephen that had left hundreds destitute. Another memory surfaced. 1917. The trenches on the Western Front. Alright, so he'd done it before but a bit of warning would have been nice.

He stepped forward, arms stretched out in front of him. He called the magic to him and felt a treacherous twinge that even if they told people no-one would believe the homeless.

"Gehealdfaest folc awerian, andleofen, eorþrest, gehrefan"

Startled cries opened his eyes. He smiled to himself as they discovered their bags full of food, their tarpaulins covering dense mattresses, and when they looked up and saw a transparent shimmer stopping the wind and realised they now had shelter, the warmth of the fire staying inside the shell, the startled murmurs gave way to a stunned silence. The burly man stepped forward, his eyes wide.

"Magic. Is it real?"

He nodded, feeling his knees tremble he made himself stand straight. That had drained him. "Very real. And don't worry, I put a spell of protection on you too - no-one's going to be coming in and bothering you in here." His voice gave out. The other man's face held such a shining hope he almost couldn't bear it. He wasn't used to this. "I wish it was more. This is all I can do"

"All?" he heard Arthur mutter in disbelief. "Merlin, you astound me. Every time I think I know the extent of your power you do something else to surprise me. I don't know what I was expecting but you outdid all of it. Thank you."

He felt a flush rising to his cheeks and hunched his shoulders, "Ah no, it was your idea."

"We thank the both of you. I admit, I thought you were crazy with your sword and all but if he's really Merlin then I guess you're really Arthur. We accept your pledge and will await your fulfilment of your promise."

Arthur accepted his bow and Merlin shuffled back to where the young man was standing, his mouth open, eyes wide and body vibrating as if he'd have to take action soon or burst. The mother was rocking her little girl, tears falling into her little girl's hair. "Thank you" she whispered. He smiled awkwardly.

Arthur approached, the burly man at his side.

"Right, so Tom here tells me your name is Gareth, is that right?"

"Yes sir."

"And yours is Bronwen?"

The mother nodded.

"I told you I had something important for you to do and this is it. There will be people coming here, trying to divide you all, seeking to stir up trouble. I need for you all to do what you can to stop it. To work together to keep this town peaceful and safe for all. Can you do it?"

He could see the disappointment on the youth's face but the mother nodded firmly. "Yes, we can"

"Gareth?

"Anything. I will do it. I will do my best, Sire."

Merlin looked at the boy, a smile playing on his lips. And Arthur thought he didn't have any magic. What was this but a kind of magic that won such devoted loyalty so quickly? No-one questioned his claim of kingship. They had all seen it, all felt his power. He was the true king of Camelot.

#

In the end, they'd set up camp for the night in the woods on the outskirts of Caerleon. The experience with Elyan had been draining and the last thing either of them wanted was to trek through the night.

Arthur was quiet as Merlin lit a small fire, a deep frown on his face.

Merlin sat back and Arthur felt his eyes upon him.

"What's the matter? I know it didn't go brilliantly, but he'll come round to it and he's already fully loyal to you. It's me he has problems with."

"That's not it. I have no qualms about Elyan."

"Then what is it? You've got a face like a sour cat".

He felt frustration bubble out of him.

"It's alright for you, Merlin, you've had a thousand years or so to get used to this idea but it's a bit new to me. There's nothing for me here, there's no space. No point for me to be here. There's nothing I can do! Do you have any idea how completely useless I feel?"

'Just because we haven't fully figured it out yet doesn't mean that there's no reason behind it"

"Oh really? And exactly what is my role do you think?"

Merlin screwed his face up and shrugged. "King? Leader? Peacemaker?"

"You don't know, do you? You have no idea and yet you expect me to follow blindly to the tune of some crazy destiny. Elyan was right, magic is nothing but trouble."

His friend stilled and he wished he'd chosen different words.

"You don't mean that, Arthur".

He let out a huff of air. "No. Well, sometimes yes. But not you, not your magic"

"Look, Arthur, I know you're frustrated but you've got to give it time, we will figure it out."

"And if we don't?"

"Not all of us are idiots, Sire, I'm sure I'll come up with something."

He picked up the nearest thing to his hand and threw it hard at Merlin. The torch didn't make it very far; Merlin's eyes flashed gold and with no more than a flick of his fingers the unfortunate torch exploded, the pieces falling to the ground, audible in the sudden silence.

He'd never seen Merlin like this; he seemed taller and the lines of his face held an inflexible strength. It only lasted a second before Merlin seemed to recollect himself and relaxed, lowering his hand. Arthur ran his hand through his hair and tried to find some words. Merlin found them first.

"Sorry, Arthur. I'll get you another one"

He forced out a smile. "Doesn't matter. It was actually your torch. You can probably just create light from magic or something."

His friend, familiar yet so strange, shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Yes. I can."

Looking up at the sky he shook his head. "You don't need me Merlin. Can't you see that? You are so much more powerful than I could ever hope to be and so is Morgana. I'm a dead king without a throne, whereas you can summon fire and knock over a troop of men." He blinked and looked back at Merlin. "This is what I was trying to tell you. There's no reason for me to be here and all I can do is hold you up."

Merlin was at his side, his own head shaking vehemently. "No. No, Arthur you're wrong. You are the Once and Future King. Without you my magic has no purpose. I use it only for you. You are the one to save Albion."

"I don't believe it, Merlin. Not anymore"

His friend's smile was unexpected. "You don't have to believe it for it to be true. It is your destiny, Arthur.'

He regarded Merlin thoughtfully. "You really believe that, don't you?'

"I have always believed. Since my second day in Camelot I've known it was my destiny to serve you."

"Second day?"

Merlin laughed and the sound loosened something around his heart. "First day I just knew you were a prat."

He couldn't help but laugh also. "True. But a royal one. And you are no servant now, my friend"

Merlin's grin lit up the grey afternoon. "Well, I don't miss the constant drudgery, but even though your friendship means more to me than life I am still your servant, Arthur, and I will be happy to serve you until the day I die."

He gripped Merlin's shoulder tightly. "I don't know if I deserve such loyalty, but I thank you for it. It hasn't been easy, this whole returning to the world thing, but what I've valued most is that we are now truly equals." He let out a laugh and leaned back on his hands. "Or, at least as equal as anyone can be with the greatest sorcerer in the world."

"Well, a legendary king who'll unite everyone in peace might be able to manage it"

He laughed again. "Maybe."

"Truly Arthur". Merlin's voice was quiet now, solemn. "We are two sides of the same coin; we do this together."

He smiled slightly, and nodded slowly. "Together. I can handle that."

#

Elyan joined them outside the city early the next morning and the relief Merlin felt flooding him seemed a bit out of proportion. It would have been a bad omen though had one of the knights refused to join them.

The walk back was not unpleasant. Elyan and Arthur talked and he tried to give Elyan space.

As soon as they walked back into camp the tension hit them. Leon and Morgana were facing off in the centre, Lancelot standing frowning next to Morgana and Gwaine trying to hold Leon back. A raven flew overhead and Merlin froze.

They came close enough to hear them. Morgana's voice carried clearly. "I don't know how else to say this. I have no idea how Mordred knew I was here - the ravens are mystical creatures and they find their own way. I wasn't expecting him to get in contact with me - this is as much a surprise to me as to you."

"A surprise? Really Morgana? Because it sounds like he's warning you to be careful of this Emrys person."

Merlin felt his heart sink at the sound of the druid name. Emrys. She'd always been terrified of him. Good work, Mordred.

Arthur strode into the middle. "What's going on?"

Morgana drew herself up, scorn on her face. "Your idiot knight persists in thinking me a traitor. Mordred sent me this but I didn't ask him to and I haven't spoken to him." She thrust a small piece of paper at him. Arthur read it and looked up at Merlin, his brows drawn together. "It speaks of Emrys and warns Morgana to leave before she falls prey to her doom. But aren't you Emrys?"

He looked at them all, frustration twisting his face. "Yes, that is what the druids called me. It is the name by which Mordred first knew me. It is not surprising that he has reached out to Morgana in hopes that she has not changed or, to be honest, in genuine concern for her."

Leon laughed in disbelief. "Concern? Mordred? We can take that off the list of possibilities. Look, I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm really not, but there's too much at stake Merlin. Surely you can see that? Even if there's only a chance that she'll turn, join Mordred then we have to take that seriously. Why else would he have sent her a message about Emrys?"

He felt Morgana stiffen again at the sound of the name and shot a venomous look at the knight.

"Shut up Leon, you have no idea what you're talking about. Morgana, don't listen to him".

She turned to look at him, her face carved from marble, cold and hard.

"You don't get it, do you Merlin? He's right." She pulled the tattered and dried flower from where it had been living in her brooch, throwing it to the ground. "This? What you want between us? It can never be! Do you know what The Cailleach told me when I opened the veil between the worlds? She told me that Emrys was both my destiny and my doom. We might have found each other in this different time but that doesn't change the prophecy. There can be no other way and no happiness here."

Her voice broke off and she turned her face abruptly away from his, staring into the trees. He might have been the only one to see her brush the tears off her cheek but all he felt was anger.

Destiny. Why wouldn't it leave him alone?

He turned and walked blindly away from the camp, not caring who watched him leave. He needed answers and there was only one being alive who could possibly give them to him. He ran through the bracken, trying not to hear Arthur calling after him.

"O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!" the command crashed out of him and he felt it reverberate through the trees. He wiped away the wetness on his cheeks with an angry exclamation. How could Morgana have thought that he would still be her doom? He'd already killed her once, he wasn't planning on doing it again. Aithusa's great wings beat the wind through the trees as she slowly maneuvered down into the small clearing. He could feel Arthur at his back and was both comforted and angered by his presence. "You didn't need to follow me," he said through clenched teeth "I'm not exactly a child".

Arthur moved to his side and nudged his shoulder. "No. Very much not so. You are, however, my friend. And you're in need, so I'm here whether you like it or not".

A tight smile escaped him. "Just don't offend the dragon again alright?"

Arthur smiled back slightly sheepishly but his eyes were serious as he said, "Just don't you think you have to do everything alone".

The dragon landed and settled herself. "Well Emrys, what is the reason for your call? And incidentally, could you have not chosen somewhere a little easier to land?"

"I apologise Aithusa, it was a spur of the moment decision. I thank you for coming."

Now that the dragon was here he was unsure of what to ask.

Her voice gentler she pushed her head forward as she asked "what is it little warlock? You seem distressed?"

His shoulders went back as he huffed out of the side of his mouth. "Okay, it's just something Morgana said and it got me thinking-"

Aithusa's eyes brightened and she craned her long neck to look behind them "Morgana? She is here?"

"Not exactly here, but yeah, she's back with the others." He bit his lip and regarded the dragon. "I can ask her to come out here after if you like?"

"No need, Merlin" said Morgana from behind him. His head whipped round as the cool tones struck his ears.

"Morgana! I am pleased to see you again my dear"

"And I you, Aithusa, but I'm also very interested in what it was I said that drove Merlin out into the night to talk to you."

Merlin's eyes shut for a moment. "Morgana…"

"Yes, Merlin?"

A sigh dragged out of him. "Never mind." He turned back to the dragon, supremely conscious of the two people dearest to him standing either side of him while trying to ignore each other.

"I want to ask you about prophecies, Aithusa. Did Kilgharrah ever talk to you about them? Or is just something that dragons know?"

"A bit of both; we are creatures of the Old Religion, the magic of the earth and sky, much like yourself Emrys." Merlin clenched his jaw as Morgana made a sudden movement. Couldn't the dragon call him by his actual name? It was that blasted druid name that had caused this in the first place. "But Kilgharrah and I often spoke of prophecy and what it had meant and what it would mean once more."

"Riddles, bloody riddles, is that all they ever speak?" muttered Arthur into Merlin's ear. He quirked an eyebrow at his King but had to restrain a smile. 'Noted for it.' he murmured back.

"Aithusa" he said, "there are two prophecies I want to ask you about."

Morgana shifted again "Two?" she asked.

He glanced at her, the frown around her eyes making his heart hurt. 'Yes, Morgana, two. Aithusa, is it possible for prophecies to be wrong?"

The dragon's great head swayed to and fro. "No, little Warlock, not the ones of which you speak. They were written in the earth's beginning and have remained unchanged through all its long years."

"So, when it says that I am Morgana's destiny and her doom it means that I killed her right? But does it mean that I will kill her in this lifetime too? Or bring about her downfall?"

"Ah, now I understand the cause of your distress. And that of my lady too I assume. The prophecy is clear Emrys, you were the Lady Morgana's doom, just as foretold."

"Ah, I 'was'? So not again?"

"That, it does not say."

Arthur uncrossed his arms and stepped forward into Merlin's outflung arm. "This is ridiculous! To put all your faith into a few words! What about the destiny bit? Maybe it's their destiny to be together but no, you all have to focus on the doom part."

Merlin stilled and heard Morgana suck in a breath. Could it be as simple as that? "Aithusa, please, repeat the prophecy for us, as it first was spoken"

The dragon sighed. "Certainly, if your impetuous king will not mind hearing the 'few words' again. The prophecy says "An alliance between Morgana and Mordred, united in evil, will bring about Arthur's end. The witch Morgana will meet her own end at the hand of the one they call Emrys, beloved of the light, for he is her destiny but also her doom." The dragon regarded them "I'm sorry. It sounds better in the ancient tongue but it's very clear".

Merlin's mind was whirling. He almost had it. "Please, and the one about Arthur. I think there's something important we've missed."

"Emrys…Oh very well. "When Albion's need is greatest Arthur will rise once more, for he is the Once and Future King. He will unite all Albion in peace and tranquillity. He will bring magic back into the world".

Something cleared in his head and a smile stretched on his face. "Ha! That's it. That's what we've been missing. The future."

Arthur's face scrunched up 'What? Merlin don't you start talking in riddles too."

"No, no don't you see? The prophecies are true, but we have read them the wrong way round! Everyone has!" he had to stop, his excitement tangling up his mouth. He turned to Morgana and took her hand, holding it tight when she tried to pull it away. "Emrys, me, I was your doom Morgana, for who you were then. I brought about your downfall - that part of the prophecy is complete. But destinies are tricky things, Morgana, and that's the bit that we missed. You are my destiny as I am yours. Kilgharrah told me that our futures would be always intertwined - what else could that be but that we were destined to meet again now? To do things differently?" He gently stroked her hair off her brow, wanting to smooth away the furrowed lines.

"I told you once that it didn't have to be like that, we didn't have to be enemies, that we could find another way; now is our chance."

He watched her blink rapidly and put his hand up to wipe away the tear that escaped. "If I learned one thing from trying to change the destined path it's that things don't always happen as you think they will. Not to brag, but I am the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth; if I can't decide what my destiny will be then who can?"

Arthur spoke quietly into the silence. "Not that I want to interrupt, but what about the Once and Future King bit? I thought that was pretty clear - we brought about peace to Camelot but failed to make Albion. And now it's all been for nothing and I don't really know what I'm doing here. If you've got thoughts on that I'd really like to hear them"

Aithusa's laugh rumbled into the night air. "I think I know where Merlin's headed with this. It's about the future isn't it Merlin?"

His smile wide enough to hurt his cheeks he nodded. "Yes, we always knew Arthur was destined to create Albion, to bring magic back into the world, to bring peace, but we never realised that he was destined to do all that now, when Britain's need is greatest. He was the king Once in Camelot but his destiny was all about the Future. He died then, but now is the time for which we were all born."

He felt Morgana's hand twist in his but it was simply so she could twine her fingers round his and his heart leaped.

#

The water was still and the sounds of the birds in the trees lightened his heart. The scent of crushed grass followed where they walked to the edge of the lake. "There is so much peace here. It is so different from all the other times."

"In what way?"

"Well, you're all alive, really. That's the main difference."

"Ah. Well. So, all of us? Into the water?"

Merlin smiled through his remembered pain. "Yes. Well, many of you. Gwaine and Lancelot. You. And Morgana."

"Morgana?"

He nodded and turned to face them. Arthur was frowning, clearly trying to understand. Morgana's face was unreadable but those eyes, he could read a world of pain and hope in those eyes. Gwaine and Lancelot were looking at their feet, Gwen was smiling at him, but Leon crossed his arms and glared. He sighed and looked back at the only two whose opinions mattered more than life. "Yes. I went back after I farewelled you and had grieved for a time. I couldn't bear the thought of what might happen to her body if she was just left in the forest." He cleared his throat trying to get rid of the lump of memory. "She was a priestess of the Old Religion. Whatever sins she committed in her life she was born of magic and to magic I returned her."

His gaze went to Morgana alone and his hand stretched out towards her. "I couldn't just leave you. I placed your broken body in a boat. I kissed your forehead and sent you to Avalon. You looked peaceful at the end. I could only hope that you would find peace in the otherworld, away from the horrors that you had lived. I only ever wanted peace for you, Morgana'.

She simply stared at him and his fingers curled back and his hand dropped. It was as he turned back towards the lake, all sense of lightness gone that he felt someone catch his hand and her fingers twined with his. He looked down at their joined hands and fought to stop smiling like an idiot.

"What about Gwaine?" Leon's harsh voice cut through his joy. "You said you sent him to the lake but we buried him at Camelot".

He took a breath and turned. "No. You didn't."

Gwen made an apologetic face. "We did, Merlin, Percival brought his body back and we gave him a proper funeral, one befitting a hero.'.

"No. It wasn't him. He was sent to the Lady of the Lake also."

Gwaine frowned up at him but didn't say anything. It was Leon whose anger broke forth. "And what right had you to take the body of a fallen knight, to send it to the old religion?"

Merlin flicked a hand towards Arthur, stopping him from pushing Leon back. He didn't need protecting.

"I had the right of a friend, Leon. He was my friend long before he was a knight. None but me knew his real family, who he really was. It was fitting that strength went where courage had also gone, to wait for magic."

An exclamation burst from Arthur and Merlin nodded. "Yes, the dwarf who met us on the path to the Fisher King was right - to succeed we needed Courage, Strength and Magic. That is still true Arthur, and I wanted to make sure we had all three".

Gwaine spoke at last. "Strength eh? Well. Could be worse. Merlin, you've been a true friend throughout the centuries and I'm not going to quibble about where my body went." His friend's lopsided grin flashed. "Sounds like I got two farewells - more than I thought I'd ever get. Leon, don't be an ass about this. Merlin did what he thought was right."

Silence fell. It was Arthur who broke it. Merlin smiled to himself. How his friend could think he'd lost his ability to lead was beyond him - at every point he took charge.

"Right. So, Merlin I gather you have brought us here for some purpose other than reminiscing so let's get on with it, shall we?"

He raised Morgana's hand to his lips before he let it go, ignoring the deathly glare from Leon, and Gwaine and Gwen's knowing smirks. "The rest of you can wait on the shore. Arthur, you and I must go into the lake. Just the shallows mind, and make sure you do not step further in than me. In fact, just follow my lead."

The water was cold and the wet denim of his jeans dragged at his hips as they waded in.

"What now Merlin?"

"Just wait, Arthur. She will appear when I call her." He cast a glance back at Morgana, waiting on the shore. "At least, I'm pretty sure she will"

Arthur's brows shot up "Pretty Sure? That doesn't sound encouraging".

"Well, only one way to find out."

He stepped forward, checking that Arthur stayed behind him. The water was up to his mid-thigh now and he could barely feel the cold anymore. Raising both arms he closed his eyes.

"Lady of the Lake, Freya, heed our call. If Arthur be the true Once and Future King and his destiny be yet unfulfilled give him a sign, bring him Excalibur from the depths of your lake where you have guarded it in trust for over a thousand years."

The magic drifted out from his hands, settling gently onto the lake before sinking below the surface.

"Pretty."

"Shh, Arthur, remember you are a King"

He heard Arthur muttering to himself "Can't a king think magic is pretty? This king does"

He smiled despite himself but his breath caught as he saw the water beginning to stir, bubbles arising to the surface. He expected to see her hand but his heart stilled as a head crowned in flowers broke the surface and rose, until Freya herself stood opposite, dressed in a gown of pure white, her hands, nearly concealed by her long sleeves, resting at her side.

"Lady" he bowed and out of the corner of his eye he saw Arthur do the same.

"Merlin". Her voice was the same beloved voice and he found it hard to meet her eyes, very conscious of Morgana on the shore. He'd always known how Gwen felt being torn between two worthy men, he just hadn't ever expected to have to deal with it. When he finally found the courage to look her in the face her smile melted all anxiety. She was older, more noble, truly the Lady of the Lake and no longer a frightened druid girl struggling with a curse.

"It is good to see you Merlin. It has been a very long time."

"Long indeed. But Arthur has risen and we seek your help."

She inclined her head. "It is not only Arthur who needs my help. Please ask the Lady Morgana to come into the water"

His brows drew together and she shook her head. "Merlin, it is alright. I know she has your heart, indeed that she always did. But she was a priestess of the Old Religion and I am its servant. Please ask her." When he still hesitated she smiled sadly, "Trust Freya if you can't trust the Lady"

Clenching his fist, he turned his head over his shoulder, although he didn't take his eyes off her, and called back to the shore., "Morgana! You are needed"

He watched the Lady as they waited for Morgana, watched her examining Arthur. The half smile on her face seemed to bode well, but he was a bit worried about the absence of the sword. Morgana appeared at his side, her shorter frame meaning she was in water up to her waist and shivering. He found himself tutting in displeasure and took the risk of taking his eyes off the lady to pull his sweater off and pass it to Morgana.

The Lady's eyes twinkled. "Always a gentleman Merlin, much more so than many noblemen."

"That he is" Morgana said softly, tugging the sweater down before moving to hold his hand.

The Lady followed the movement and her eyes shadowed. But she still smiled.

"Lady Morgana, I greet you as the last priestess of the Old Religion. You have travelled a long and sad road to come to this moment and I have a gift for you. A prophecy"

Merlin startled and interrupted her, not caring if it was rude or not. "No. Absolutely not, no more prophecies. They're nothing but trouble".

He winced as Morgana poked him sharply in the ribs. "It's my prophecy and I decide if I want to hear it. Understand?"

Sighing he motioned for the Lady to continue. She quirked her brows at him and then fixed her gaze on Morgana's face.

"Round and round but the circle has an end

It comes at the turning of the tide

A chance for all things to mend

The priestess and warlock side by side

Arthur stands, he might yet fall,

When courage and strength have magic twinned

The druid boy no longer in thrall

then magic will return until the world's end."

Merlin felt the words settle into his very being. He spared a glance for Arthur whose face was screwed up in a grimace and was sure he heard a whispered 'more bloody riddles' float across the water. He bit his lip and looked down at Morgana. Her face was more peaceful than he had seen it in a very long time.

"Thank you, Lady, for your gift." she said. "I believe I know what it means and it gives me hope, not just for myself but for Mordred."

The Lady bowed. "And now, Arthur, for your gift. You have doubted yourself, I know, but you need not. You are Albion's true king and you return now when you are needed more than ever. It has been my greatest honour to guard your sleep, and to guard that which will help you regain your position as Albion's defender." She reached into the water and drew forth a great blade. "Excalibur was burnished by Merlin in the dragon's breath for you alone to wield. Use it wisely, Arthur, as befits your destiny." Merlin watched closely as Arthur stepped forward to accept the blade. He was pleased to see that once he had the blade, he bowed but stepped back to where he was once more behind Merlin. The Lady had been nothing but generous but he more than any others knew not to trust magic to not be tricksy.

"Merlin" He brought his face back to the Lady. "I would grant you a gift also."

"Ah, no, that's really not necessary. I'm good. Thanks"

Morgana nudged him. "Merlin, don't be ungrateful"

He leant down to whisper to her "I'm not, I just don't need anything and we've got what we came for"

"Merlin". Freya's voice cut through his thoughts and it was Freya's voice now, no longer that of the Lady. He looked at her again, a frown on his brow.

"A simple gift. Nothing more. A token of what once was and in memory of the young man who saved me." She held out her hand. "Wear this for me." She tossed it to him and he snatched it out of the air. It was a dragon brooch, exquisitely carved from wood. His eyes blurred. "Where did you get this?"

"I am not the only one to think of you fondly, Merlin. Your father sends his love. Wear this for Balinor. For us. For what once was."

He pinned it to his shirt, hands shaking so much that he fumbled until Morgana did it for him.

"Thank you, Freya. Lady. You are generous".

"You are welcome. And remember, destinies are tricky things..."

She disappeared beneath the water and Merlin felt a sharp pang that faded when Morgana took his hand again to pull him out of the water. "Come on" she said, "it's freezing".

Arthur was holding his sword and Merlin could swear he could see a shimmer arise from the sword and flow up Arthur's arm. He blinked and in between seconds saw Arthur in full Kingly armour and in sodden jeans and a bedraggled hoodie. He was a king in both forms, and as Arthur raised his arm and Excalibur's blade caught the sunlight Merlin dropped to his knees in the shallows, caught in a vision. He was conscious of Morgana's hands frantically pulling at him but his eyes remained fixed to the sight of Keliandra, Mordred at her side, firing a bolt of pure lightning straight into Arthur's heart. "No, no, it can't happen like that, Not again"

"Merlin! Merlin wake up!"

"No, I won't let it happen"

"Quick get him onto the shore, get him warm"

He could feel hands on him, wrapping him in warmth but all he could see was Arthur dying, again and again, until a gentle voice spoke in his head ' _The future can change. Look again and see how to stop it"._ He thrust off the hands that tried to restrain him and threw himself on his knees in the sand. "Show me!" he shouted, "show me how to stop it!"

The vision hit him with such power he nearly fell; it was only the strong hands of Arthur and Morgana that held him up. He saw the vision again, Keliandra approached Arthur through a cloud of dust, energy sparking from her hands. This time, though, Mordred was at Merlin's side, not hers. He saw her lift her hands and then he saw himself look at Arthur, raise a hand and push him backwards before leaping to intercept her bolt of energy. He saw himself thrown backwards with such force it hurt to watch. He shook his head as the vision left. He came to himself shaking and cold, the knowledge of what was to come, and what had to happen, settling in his gut like stone. Either he or Arthur was to die. Well. He'd faced that choice before, and it was no choice. It was his destiny to protect Arthur. The king must live. He'd sacrificed himself for his friend before and he would do so again. But as Morgana's strong hands pulled him up and she wrapped her arms around him he rested his head on her soft hair and reflected that in all his thousand years he'd never had so much to lose before.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Chapter 7

The lanterns lit up the trees in multiple colours and the smells from kitchens around the world filled the air. The lake surface reflected the shifting light and the noise of the crowd hummed around them. Drum beats formed a deep pulse driving them on. Merlin had lost count of the festivals he had seen in his long lifetime but he always enjoyed the people. Pushing through the mass of revelry he spared a glance for Arthur, who seemed to be remarkably at ease.

"The guy we want works security up by the noodle market. It's not far."

Arthur nodded and smiled, bowing as a pair of young women walked past, giggling over their shoulders at them. Arthur grinned back and Merlin rolled his eyes, "Come on then, we haven't got all night. Who'd have thought the king who had so much trouble with the lights at the pedestrian crossings would be right at home in the middle of the night markets?"

Arthur punched him in the arm, he tried to pretend it didn't hurt. "Reminds me of home, the noise, the people, the hustle, it's different but it's also just like the lower town in Camelot"

He paused for a second, rubbing his arm surreptitiously and looking at the crowds in this new light. Arthur was right. It was remarkably like home. He smiled.

They wended their way through the markets and he thought back to their train ride back to London. It had been…interesting. Elyan could hardly look at him, let alone at Morgana. The other knights had been happy to see their friend, Percival in particular. It had been an odd reunion between sister and brother though. He frowned and side stepped a family on the path. Both of them could remember their current lives and being siblings was stranger than friends to accept somehow. Ha, Funny when you thought of it, how most of them had no real connections with their families now, save Percival and Leon of course. Made all this much easier.

A man walked past in his periphery and, perhaps because of the odd connection with Camelot he recognised him instantly. He grabbed hold of Arthur's arm and something must have communicated the urgency to his King because his smile disappeared and the warrior emerged, watchful and grim.

"Mordred. I saw him walk that way, I knew I was on the right track but I didn't really expect to see him."

Lines appeared around Arthur's eyes and his jaw tightened.

"Well. Guess that confirms Leon's traitor theory. Someone had to have told him we were coming here and there's only one person we know of who has been in contact with him."

"No, I don't believe that. I think he's here for the same reason as us but I don't think he knows we're here." Merlin paused, knowing the betrayal Arthur must be feeling, "We need to follow him Arthur. If he's here for the same reason as us then Sam is in danger."

Arthur ran a hand through his hair and cast his eyes around as if seeking another solution, "Fine, your call, we track him. Won't be easy through this lot,"

Merlin's lips quirked up, "Ah, that's where magic comes in handy, Sire,' He focused on where he'd seen Mordred head off to and summoned up the words of the tracking spell he'd used so many times in Arthur's service. This time, however, Arthur would know. "Aefnan weg". Golden lines spread out in front of him and the happy chaos of the market seemed to slow and move like treacle, the bold colours of the lanterns fading into swirls of light. He could see the path that Mordred had taken clearly laid out in front of them. Grabbing Arthur by the arm he set off at a steady pace - running through this lot would be a sure way to garner the wrong kind of attention.

The path taken by Mordred led them down to where he'd been heading to see Sam, but it continued on and into a van just past the security station, a large black van with the name of one of the largest security training companies in London. Well. Looks like his guess was confirmed.

They stayed back and Merlin caught Sam's eye. His friend knew how to be discreet and when Merlin took out his phone and held it up he barely nodded to indicate he understood. He texted him quickly.

 _Hey Sam, can't meet up. Unexpected guests_

The reply came quickly.

 _Gotcha. Talk later. Hit me up._

 _Will do. Take care._

He put his phone away and inclined his head at Sam who took his cap off in his direction as if he was just scratching his head. There, nothing in any of that to give either of them away, but he'd never said 'take care' to Sam in his life; hopefully the other man would heed the warning.

"Will your friend be okay?"

And that was one of the reasons Arthur was such a good king; he genuinely had concern for everyone, whether he knew them or not. "I hope so. But we best not meet him now that Mordred's around. I think we should follow him. Mordred, I mean."

Arthur stared down at the ground, hands on hips and brow furrowed.

"You know, Merlin. I'd really hoped that Mordred wouldn't be involved. Even after the letter warning Morgana about Emrys, I still hoped he wouldn't be an enemy in this life also."

He didn't know what to say. He'd never trusted Mordred but he remembered how he'd been like a little brother to Arthur and how deeply Arthur had been hurt by his betrayal. Maybe they didn't all get a second chance. Or maybe they did.

"Arthur… Do you want to talk to him?"

His king looked up, eyebrows raised. "What, instead of following him? Won't that give us away?"

"To be honest, even if we track him down it's unlikely he's heading to some secret villain lair where they'll all be conveniently in one place ready for us to destroy. If there's a chance for him to be on the right side this time then maybe you should take it. Talk to him and find out what he actually wants."

"You're very wise sometimes Merlin. So, how do we go about talking to him? I assume we're not going to march up to the van and ask to go in?"

"I think we wait. There's only one path down here, he's got no reason to not return by the same path. We'll find a good spot and, wait."

They waited for a good hour before Mordred's light footsteps sounded on the path. The markets had started winding down and as the car park was the other way, very few people had given them false starts. He came into view as the path turned past the trees in which they were concealed. He was just as Merlin remembered, despite the khaki pants and white polo shirt, and he sparked the same confused wariness in his mind. He stayed hidden in the shadows as Arthur stepped onto the path.

Mordred's shock was obvious. He stumbled backwards and had to put out an arm to catch his balance.

"Arthur". His voice was tight and Merlin kept a close eye on his hands.

"Mordred. Here for the markets?"

The druid frowned, "What? No." He seemed to pull himself together. "What I do is no business of yours, Pendragon".

"I had hoped so much to see you in different circumstances in this new time". Arthur's voice carried his sorrow but it rang with the strength and assurance of his title. "You could make it my business perhaps?"

Mordred took a sudden swing at Arthur who blocked his punch and knocked the other man full square on the jaw, sending him reeling back.

"Now that was uncalled for, Mordred. Bad form."

"You always were a bully, Pendragon."

Arthur's face screwed up. "Um, I do believe you struck first."

Merlin looked from the shadows from one man to another. Mordred didn't seem to be able to meet Arthur's eyes, and his determination to call him by his Royal name was odd. Maybe he needed the distance. Arthur was standing with his hands on his hips, deceptively relaxed, but Merlin could see the readiness in his stance, just as he could read the wariness in Mordred's.

"Maybe there's a way it could be your business after all. We know why you think you're here. But it's never going to happen. Join us in destroying the current order - only then can you truly rise and take your place in the new world. Not as king, but as more than the vagrant you are now."

Arthur shook his head slowly. "That is no vision I can be a part of. Have you not thought of the people your destruction will hurt? The world is more than the 'order' and more than those who rule it. It is the people, Mordred, those who get up every day just wanting to be happy, spend time with their families, be useful to society. I could never join those who seek to destroy the lives of those they should be bound to protect."

Mordred stepped back, his chin going up. It almost looked like he'd been hit, but Arthur hadn't moved.

"Arthur, I am more sorry than I can say that you refuse me in this. But I think you'll find that you will be helping us anyway, alive or dead. You see, you may have been a great knight once upon a time but here's you with no armour, no sword, and here's me not only with this very handy modern item the gun, but also with my sorcery. So, unfortunately for you it looks like I win this one."

Arthur backed up a step, his hands high and Merlin nearly stepped out before he saw Arthur's leg kick up in a roundhouse blow to Mordred's arm; the gun landed somewhere in the bushes to the right and Mordred swore. The druid's hand extended, his mouth open and Merlin stepped out.

"He also has me, Mordred.' He almost didn't need to blast the young man back, his very presence seemed to stun Mordred and something like fear contorted his features in the split second before Merlin sent him tumbling into a tree by the side of the path. The young man groaned and something like relief sparked inside him; call him crazy but he really didn't want to kill Mordred. Maybe it was the vision by the lake, but he was sure that Mordred still had some part to play in what came next.

"Come on Arthur, we best go."

The king looked behind him as they ran down the path and a sigh that seemed to come from his boots left him.

"I'm sorry, Arthur. Truly."

"We all make our choices, Merlin. I just wish he'd chosen differently".


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Chapter 8

Arthur rolled his shoulders back - the bag with the swords in it felt awkward across his shoulders. It was apparently better for them to look like a hockey team then to carry the swords openly. It still felt strange to not have Excalibur proudly at his hip. This was a strange time - their weapons were in their computers and in their wallets. He sighed and looked round at the knights. They were all dressed in different versions of the same outfit - lightweight jacket, t-shirt and jeans. A smile lifted his lips. It was a far cry from the chain mail and cloaks but there was something about these men, the connection was the same, the feeling was the same. They were knights, no matter what they wore.

And then there was Merlin. He snuck a glance at the man next to him. No sword for him; he didn't need it. It was still mind boggling the amount of power his friend had and yet he carried himself with nothing more than a quiet dignity and self-assurance. Something Gwaine had said, so long ago, flickered into his mind. " _You know what I like about Merlin_ " he'd said " _He never expects any praise. All these things he does just for the good of doing them"_. It had been true then and it was true now. It was very humbling.

On impulse, he reached out and cuffed Merlin on the shoulder; he smiled and raised his eyebrows as Merlin cast him a look. "I've said before, my lord, you don't need to hit me. You can just say "Excuse me" or "Hi" or "Well done Merlin""

"Ah, but it isn't as satisfying"

"Knights" muttered Merlin, his eyes flicking back out to the square. Arthur let his own gaze wander. There were more people here than he'd ever seen in Camelot. He was getting used to the sheer numbers of them but he couldn't get over how glued to their cellphones they were. He looked up at the big cathedral. It was the house of St Paul, Merlin had said. It was an extraordinary feat of engineering. He'd thought the palace at Camelot luxurious but it was nothing to this house of God. The front of the cathedral was covered in couples and small groups of people sprawled haphazardly over the steps having lunch, and tourists taking pictures. The idea of people traveling for the sole purpose to look at other places had been another odd one to get his head round, but standing here he understood anew the urge to go and visit strange new places - if they sorted all this out he wanted to travel all over.

The sky was a brilliant blue and the sunshine was a lot warmer than it had been - maybe that was what had brought so many people out.

Gwaine came up to his shoulder and followed his gaze. "Nothing beats London on a sunny day. Shame there's so few of them." The columns at the front of the cathedral seemed unnecessary to hold it up, like they were just pillars on a cake. The broad paved area in front of the cathedral wasn't as pretty as the gardens surrounding the rest of the church but with its open space and single large tree it had a sparse beauty.

"If we're only meeting one man why bring all of us?"

He turned to Gwaine. "Merlin's worried about his contact, Sam. He thinks the man might have been followed or heard. Which would be bad for all of us if so."

"Is this Security Sam?"

Merlin walked up to them, hands at his side, seemingly ready for action, and a frown on his face. "Yes, Security Sam. He's late. And he's never late."

A deafening noise shook the air and the ground seemed to tremble. They watched in horror as the side of a building on the corner just slid to the ground, crushing people beneath slabs of rock.

Another crash and Arthur's head dragged away from the horrific sight of broken rubble and a man dangling, screaming, from the rooms left open to the sky. The wall on the opposite building had also sheared off, covering the lone tree in dust and cracked masonry.

"Arthur! This is no man-made explosion - this is sorcery. I can feel it. But I can't tell where it's coming from!"

He could see the tension in Merlin's face. Knew how frustrated he must be. Another crash, another building. People were screaming and running but the road began to blow up in their faces, forcing them to run the other way. Arthur's mind snapped into action.

"We do what we can to help. Merlin, you need to track down this sorcerer and stop him. Or her." Merlin nodded and turned to face the centre of the square, his face going blank and his eyes flashing gold. Leaving his friend to his tracking he directed Percival and Elyan one way and Leon and Lancelot the other. He grabbed Gwaine and ran for the nearest lot of rubble. People were desperately scrabbling to get to those trapped underneath the rock. He took hold of a large chunk of stone and reached inside for that strength of knighthood that not even 1500 years in a lake had done much to diminish. Pushing upwards he levered it up and sideways, Through the small hole he'd created he heard cries and rapid breaths. "How many of you?"

"Four, that we can see. But one, she's not moving"

Shutting his mind to the terror that laced the man's voice he thrust his shoulder against another broken slab and heaved, it shifted enough to give him leverage. Shouting out for assistance he heard Gwaine grunt as he took the other end. Muscles straining, they hauled the big hunk of rock up and away, letting it fall with a crash onto the pavement. He reached in an arm and dragged out the man he'd spoken to, his arm slipping on the nylon of his sports jacket. A young woman in a suit pulled herself out and a portly gentleman was helped out by the willing arms of those around. Gwaine cast him a glance and ducked under the rubble. He reappeared holding the body of a woman; she was covered in blood and he shook his head at Arthur.

Gwaine laid her gently on the ground. Arthur looked around but no-one came forward to claim her. He took off his jacket and placed it carefully over her face, protecting her from the ever-present view of the cameras.

There was more rubble and more crashes and more work to do. Casting a grim glance around the square he saw a group of men, all dressed in black, short swords in their hands.

He picked up the hockey bag and looked at his knight.

"This is a war, Gwaine. I think we need to be armed".

The other man screwed up his face. "Yeah, might not go down so well".

He nodded once. "I'm aware of that, but they've given us no choice. They seek to stop us in our mission and I'll be damned if I let them do it."

Unzipping the bag he turned to face the oncoming men - they split, clearly some going to track the other knights down. Merlin was moving closer to a woman in the middle - maybe Keliandra had come to fight her own battles. The woman turned her head and he saw it was the matron. Pulling out his sword he heard screams from the people behind him. He didn't turn around, he was holding a sword after all and that could end badly. He did look over his shoulder and address them.

"There is no need for fear. I seek only to protect you. If you can leave you need to try to get out and get to safety".

The man who'd accepted his help out of the rubble spoke in a rush "who are they? Are they terrorists?"

He paused. "They are worse."

The people in the square were out of control with terror now. He couldn't see where the knights had gone but trusted them to do what they could to protect those who needed them.

He met Gwaine's eyes. "I would say for Camelot but I think it's all got a bit bigger than that. For Albion"

"For Albion".

The two of them threw themselves into the fray

The ground continued to shake and roll and people toppled over and stumbled as they sought desperately to find shelter. Every way they turned they were forced back by explosions or by the men in black, who slashed at any who came too close. Arthur ran for the group closest to him. Two of the men in black had turned and were advancing on a small group of young people who had summoned up the courage to throw rocks at them. The youths were backed up against a railing and the assailants grinned and hoisted their swords. Arthur came under the swinging arm of one and smashed his forearm into the man's face, sending him reeling back. He swung Excalibur up with his other arm and blocked the blow of the second man. Disengaging, they sized each other up warily. The man who'd reeled backwards came forward holding his bleeding nose with one hand but his sword still out in a surprisingly steady hold. Arthur swung his sword in a figure 8, loosening up. He watched his opponents' eyes, aware too always of their feet. When the man on his left suddenly dashed forward he let him feint and spun instead to block the surprise blow of the man on the right. Grabbing the man's wrist, he hauled him sideways onto the sword of the other man. His surprised cry died quickly as Arthur smashed his sword pommel into his face, sending his nose cartilage up into his brain, ending his life. Whirling his sword over his head he brought it down in a slicing blow that struck his remaining opponent in the collarbone, slicing into his neck and opening the artery. Clutching at his wound, the man slowly sank to his knees before toppling to the ground. Arthur wiped the sweat from his face and turned to face those he'd been protecting. He was prepared for their terror but one of them had his phone out, recording the whole thing, and the others had shining faces of admiration.

"That was incredible! Thank you!"

He half smiled and half grimaced and put his sword down. "It was nothing. You should be leaving - try to find safety."

As they stumbled past him he looked around. Gwaine was no-where to be seen in the dust and he could smell fire and see smoke arising from one of the buildings. Where was Merlin? He looked and saw him seemingly standing still, but he caught the slight movement of his hands and following the direction saw rocks and rubble from the continuing explosions pulling themselves up, avoiding the people below them and falling away somewhere else. Merlin was turning slightly and managed to get most of the explosions as they occurred. How he had ever managed to convince the world he was an idiot was beyond him.

He turned and saw a man stalking towards him, dressed in black, a long trench coat flying out behind him. Mordred. The other man had his sword out and Arthur hefted his in his hand, swinging it once or twice. He walked towards the man who'd killed him once and then halted. Those were cries and screams from the stack of masonry to his left. And they sounded like the cries of children. He cast a glance at Mordred. The druid could wait. Some things were more important.

#

Merlin lost count of the pieces of masonry he diverted away from the screaming and frightened crowd. It wasn't enough and every crash signalling a person he couldn't save cracked his heart even more. He had once had compassion for Mordred but that was fast dying; there were children out here. He'd dealt to the Matron but Keliandra was still out there. He couldn't stand the fact that Arthur was somewhere without him in the chaos but there were others to protect.

Through the dust he saw Mordred draw closer to Arthur and ice gripped his heart. Not again. He ran through the rubble and dust and was drawing closer, his hand out stretched and the words of a spell on his lips when Keliandra's bolt of energy smashed into a wall near him. The shockwave knocked him to his knees and, pulling himself up, he heard the screams of those who had taken refuge behind the presumed safety of the shop wall. He faltered, torn. Mordred still drew closer to Arthur, who was hauling rubble off trapped people. He knew what Arthur would want him to do. Gritting his teeth, he cast Mordred one last glance. The young man didn't seem to be about to destroy Arthur with magic, he had a sword. Well, Arthur could best any man with a sword. At that moment Mordred looked up and met his eyes. He held his gaze for a moment but the screams drew him. He turned resolutely back to help those who had been half buried under the rubble. With magic, it was easy to lift the stones and the look on the faces of those who he dragged out was reward enough.

"Here, let me help"

The familiar voice set fire in his mind. His head whipped round and words failed him at the sight of Mordred, sword sheathed, using his own strength and magic to free those who remained trapped. He set aside questions and, smiling reassuringly at the old woman whose cane had helped stop the large stone slab from crushing her leg, but was now caught between two sides of the wall, he tried to figure out how to move the slab without bringing the other one down.

"I see you still try to hide who you are"

The panted words were those of Mordred, but in his head he heard Will, long dead but not forgotten. "Y _ou know you could stop them all with magic Merlin, will you stand by and let your people die just to hide who you are?"_

Looking into the trusting face of the woman whose face recorded her long life he felt a decision click into place. He didn't even care if he was being manipulated by Mordred. He touched the slab and with a word it turned to dust. The woman's eyes were wide as she looked at him for an instant before a smile lit up her face. "I always believed in guardian angels. Thank you." He took her outstretched hand and felt peace amidst the chaos.

As Mordred helped the last person, a shaken looking businessman, out of the debris Merlin cast a quick glance around to see Arthur, sword out, defending a group of young Muslim teenagers from a section of the angry crowd who seemed to be convinced that this was an act of terrorism, not sorcery.

"I had forgotten how noble he is"

He turned to face Mordred but kept his awareness of his King uppermost in his mind.

"You sound like you mean that"

Mordred's eyes were on Arthur but he met Merlin's gaze at that. "I do. You forget how much I admired him..."

Merlin let an uneasy silence sit between them, He didn't really know what to say to Mordred

"Do you know, he saw me coming for him. Saw that I had my sword out. I know he remembers our last moments the same way I do. I saw it in his face. But do you know what he did? He turned his back on me to pull a child out of the wreckage. The wreckage caused by Keliandra. And you, Emrys, you did the same. I know how little you always trusted me and the gods know how much you must hate me but you turned away from confronting me to help those in need.

Merlin crossed his arms and frowned. "What else was I supposed to do?"

Mordred gave a little laugh and it sounded sad. "I can't imagine anything else you would have done." His hand in his hair he suddenly looked incredibly young. "If I admired Arthur you can have no idea how much I wanted you to respect me. To like me. You were everything I had always wanted to be. And to see you now, using your magic to help people…." His words faded out and Merlin kept his arms crossed to keep from reaching out to him.

A crash sounded and both men's eyes turned to see. Merlin headed off but jolted to a stop. He cursed to himself before spinning to see Mordred looking lost. "So, are you coming then or what?"

The young man started towards him his face lightening, before he caught himself and stopped. "No. No I can't." Turning on his heel he walked away, clearly leaving the square. Merlin let him go. There were more pressing matters to attend to.

The explosions had stopped and the air was filled with white dust from the concrete. People were hurt and shaken but what was worrying Merlin was the mood of the crowd. He'd seen disasters like this before, been in London for many attacks over the centuries; never had he seen a people turn on itself. It was like watching starving wolves rip each other to pieces while the lions waited at the sidelines.

Elyan stepped in to a fight and broke it up - they didn't argue with the man with the sword. All over the square there were fights breaking out and people began picking up rocks from the ground and hurling them. It didn't seem to be aimed at anyone or anything, just general outpouring of rage.

"Arthur, we have to stop this, they'll kill each other!"

Arthur looked around and then ran to the statue of Queen Anne that stood in front of St Paul's, pulling himself up over the anti-pigeon spikes to stand next to the saintly queen, one arm holding her round her neck for balance. Merlin stood below him, on the lap of one of the stone ladies in waiting. The scuffles had turned into full on riot now. Arthur's voice was harsh as he shouted for them to stop, but it didn't carry far over the yelling and screaming and the sirens. At that moment, someone threw a rock right at his King and without a thought Merlin stepped up and flicked it aside with a look. He could feel anger rising and with a few harshly murmured words and a gesture from him the crowd found that the rocks they held were suddenly so heavy they dropped harmlessly in front of them.

Arthur stood above the rubble, majestic even in his torn t shirt and dust covered jeans. Excalibur shone in the sunlight filtering through the dust and a sea of cellphone cameras were lifted, recording every moment. Merlin shrugged inwardly. At some point in time the rest of the world was going to have to know about Arthur - looked like the world had decided it would be now. The silence was expectant and Merlin glanced up at his King. Arthur met his eyes and lowered his sword as Gwaine and Elyan panted to a halt in front of them.

'People of London! This is no way to have peace! You turn on each other like starving dogs in a fighting ring, and just like those dogs you make money and power for those who make you fight. This is not the England I remember."

The conviction in his words seemed to be capturing something in the crowd. More than one person looked sideways at the person they'd been struggling against and, if not exactly shamefaced they did move away slightly.

"Today when you were attacked you turned on each other, not on those who attacked you. You are blinded by hatred and fear and this must end if we are to survive."

The silence was different now. They were listening but there was no longer the sense that they were on a knife edge, ready to burst apart with one word. Sirens continued to sound but even the police in the square were listening to a man with a sword. Not something that happened every day.

Merlin kept his guard up but he felt in his bones that Keliandra and her men had gone. The moment that people started attacking each other her work had been pretty much done. Thank goodness for Arthur and his power to show people a better vision for themselves.

"You all need to go home. Get medical care if you need it, stay safe. They may strike again and, if they do, you must put others before yourself. Act with kindness and bravery. You are better than this, Londoners. Go. Go home."

There was an awkward pause and then they began to do just that, walking in pairs or by themselves. Merlin felt a lump come to his throat as the teenagers Arthur had been defending stopped to help a woman and her small child who had been cowering in fear, trapped in a riot they didn't understand. Other people turned to those with injuries and began to help them. A man in a suit dropped the bloody brick he'd been holding; wiping a hand over his face he looked around as if dazed. Eyes landing on Arthur his lips turned up even as his brows drew together. "Who are you?"

"I am Arthur Pendragon. I am the Once and Future King."

"Oh. That makes no sense, you know. I'm David Miller. I'm an accountant. Thank you, Arthur Pendragon, for stopping this." He looked at his hands as if he wasn't sure what they were doing and Gwaine sheathed his sword and went up to him.

"Here, I think you might need to sit down."

"No. No, I'm fine. I've just never hit anyone before. I've never wanted to." His face crumpled and he began to cry. Gwaine cast a startled look at Merlin, appealing for help. Merlin smiled and jerked his head towards Arthur.

"One for him I think, Gwaine."

Arthur looked mildly horrified but he leaped down from the statue and walked towards the man. Gripping his shoulder, he spoke firmly to him.

"We all do things we aren't proud of David Miller, but the test of a man is what he does afterwards. Remember this feeling next time you find yourself in this situation and don't pick up the brick".

The man nodded but continued to tremble, the aftershock of his experience beginning to tell.

"It's alright sir, we can take over from here". The calm voice of the paramedic who had appeared at David's elbow was a welcome interruption. His shaking hands betrayed the fact that he wasn't so calm as he seemed.

"I'd like to thank you too, Sir. If it hadn't been for you and your mates we'd be mopping up more than shock victims."

"There's no need to thank me. I'm only doing my duty."

"I understand about that, and that's why I know it isn't just duty." The paramedic smiled as he helped David away.

Merlin tapped Arthur on the shoulder. "Arthur. We should disappear now; the police are heading this way and they'll want to talk to you about those great big swords you're all carrying." He wished they could stay, make sure everyone was safe, but once they got into police notice they'd be at the station for ages. And Excalibur did not belong in an evidence room.

Arthur cuffed him on the shoulder as they headed away from the police who were trying to get through the crowds towards them. "Good job with the bricks Merlin, it could have been a bloodbath."

"I think the congratulations go to you and your superpower charisma, I don't know anyone else who could have convinced that crowd to disperse"

Gwaine held out his arm to stop them as he saw a black cab with no driver and the keys still in the ignition. "Boys I think we found a ride. In you get"

The police didn't see them get in the car and Merlin looked through the back window to see them splitting up and heading down the small pathways leading into the shops.

"So, does this mean we're basically just superheroes?"

Merlin's brows came down as a smile twisted his face. "What _are_ you talking about, Gwaine?"

"Well, we run around saving the day, using a bit of magic, keeping our pasts hidden. Classic super hero stuff"

Arthur laughed and Merlin felt his own grin grow. Super hero. Yeah, he could live with that.

#

The sunlight filtered into the kitchen and Merlin shifted so that his shadow fell across the small screen of the laptop they were clustered around. Arthur was standing with his hands behind his back, seemingly relaxed but Merlin was next to him and could see the tension in his shoulders.

Gwen clicked onto another video. They all showed the same thing whether they'd been uploaded from cellphones or CCTV; footage of Arthur using sheer brute strength to heave fallen masonry off the elderly, rescuing a child and returning her safely to her mother, standing strong in front of a bunch of angry young men with pipes and rocks protecting the teenagers Merlin had noticed before, driving off the would-be assailants and ripping his own t shirt to bind the head of one of the teens. Best not to even mention the sword and sorcery show at the end.

Gwaine leaned back in his chair. "so, our King is a social media hero. Everyone wants to know who you are."

Percival spoke up "there's other footage too, look". He held his iPad out and they craned in to see. The video clip was of the knights forming a semi-circle to protect a group of children and their teacher who had been visiting the square to sketch the statues.

The silence was broken by the noise of sirens in the distance and as one they tensed. There were no other noises though and Gwen's hasty switch to a news station showed nothing reported.

Leon walked in and stopped at the sight of their tense faces. "Something wrong?"

Arthur smiled and his shoulders seemed to relax a fraction. "No, just something called Social Media. Apparently, I'm all over it."

"Viral, Arthur. You've gone viral" Gwaine stood and grabbed the glasses from the table, taking them to the sink. "Not sure if it's a good or a bad thing yet, but I have to admit, it's kinda cool"

Leon grinned and held out the map he was holding. "Merlin, I've been trying to figure out where the attack came from. I've pinpointed a couple of places but I've only got a London map and you said it could have come from further afield. Any chance you've got another map? If we follow the lines out from where I've drawn them on this one we might get an idea of what's out there that could be a hiding place"

He looked at Leon, respect dawning. "Sure, good thinking. There's one on the bookshelf in the sitting room. We'll lay them out in there and look"

He led the way to the door, Leon unfolding the map behind him and Gwen and Arthur at the rear. As they walked into the next room they saw Morgana with her phone out. She looked up at the door opening and fumbled as she hurriedly locked the screen and shoved her phone in her pocket.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Leon's voice was harsh and he walked to stand over her. Merlin's hackles rose.

"Leon, leave her alone."

"It's okay Merlin, I'm not afraid of bullies"

Leon stepped back, arms crossed across his chest. "I know you don't want to listen, Merlin, but it's getting ridiculous. They've been turning up everywhere we've gone - there's been an actual message from Mordred sent to Morgana. How can you possibly believe she's not telling them where we are and what we're doing?"

His heart twisted inside him as Morgana clutched her phone tighter to her chest. It was obvious even to him that she didn't want anyone to see what she'd been doing. "Because I trust her. The Lady in the Lake trusts her. Arthur trusts her."

Arthur pursed his lips, his head on one side.

"Don't you?"

"I do. I like to think that I do, but I also don't believe in this many coincidences. Somehow, they know where we are. The only logical conclusion is that someone has told them"

Merlin couldn't bear the expression on Arthur's face. Would his king never be free of the betrayal of those closest to him?

Morgana jumped up from the sofa. "And what, you think that person is me? Think I'm snapchatting Mordred our location? Whatsapping Keliandra our plans? Ridiculous, Arthur, even for you."

Arthur's eyes rolled and Merlin hid a smile.

"Sire," said Leon, "if she wasn't sending a message then surely she has nothing to hide and won't mind if we check her phone?"

Merlin rubbed his hands over his face as Morgana gasped. "What am I? A schoolgirl accused of texting in class? You have no reason to check my phone and no right to!"

Arthur held out his hands appeasingly. "It would help clear things up Morgana, come, you can have nothing to hide."

"Says the man with no cellphone!"

Arthur sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I really don't want to force this Morgana"

Merlin coughed. He really didn't want any part of this but he agreed with Arthur, it would help clear things up. "Morgana, not that I think you have anything to hide, and you know I don't think Leon has any right to demand that we take your phone, but what if Gwen checked it? You know you can trust her."

He made himself meet her accusing glare. Slowly her face crumpled and she tossed her chin up. "Fine. But only Gwen". She tossed the phone to Gwen, who caught it and made a sympathetic face. Morgana stalked out of the room. As she passed Merlin she whispered, "So much for trust."

He turned to watch her walk out, his arms out in a silent appeal. They dropped at the slam of the door.

He stared at the door for a moment, trying to get his anger at Leon under control. When he turned round he saw Gwen trying to squash a smile, her eyes widening as she scrolled through whatever was on Morgana's phone. Relief and shame washed through him. It was hard to admit to himself that he'd been worried even for a moment, but to know that she hadn't been betraying them was a burden lifted. But once again they had, all of them, betrayed her trust in them. He glared at Leon who had the grace to grimace and shrug.

Gwen locked the phone and held it to her chest. "I can say definitively that she was not messaging Mordred or Keliandra or indeed anyone. Her messages on all apps are clear." Her eyes were still twinkling.

Arthur smiled, clearly relieved. "Excellent. Make sure she gets it back with our apologies."

"No, I think you should apologise to her yourself, Arthur."

The king scrunched up his face. "Really?"

"Really". She handed the phone to him and he left the room, adjusting his shirt as he did so. An image flashed into Merlin's mind of Arthur adjusting his armour in much the same way before a tournament.

Leon grunted and went to follow Arthur but stopped with his hand on the door handle. "But why was she acting so suspiciously? We could all see she didn't want anyone to see what she was doing."

Gwen pressed her lips together, though her eyes still danced. "Well, her browser was open. She was searching up images of the fight in the square. Well, I say of the fight but really it was just pictures of one person." She raised her eyebrows at Merlin and heat rushed to his cheeks.

"Oh." Said Leon. His whole body was stiff with awkwardness. "I see. Well. Right then". As he closed the door behind him Merlin turned to Gwen.

"So, I might have stuffed things up a bit."

"You did what you thought was best. She will understand". He wasn't so certain about that.

"Thanks for making Arthur apologise."

"That's okay. But it's your turn now."

He smiled. Pictures of the fight. Huh. He caught himself strutting a little as he left the room and made himself stop it before he reached Morgana.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER 9

The wind was cold and he zipped up his duffel coat and pulled his beanie over his ears. His pace was brisk and his mind began running over the new viral fame of the Once and Future King. It wasn't far to the corner store and he was pretty sure no-one would recognise him, but there was no way Arthur was going out in public until they'd figured out how to deal with this. At least there was a kind of peace settled over the streets. An oddly expectant peace but better than the chaos of before. Keliandra must have gone to lick her wounds.

He pushed his way into the store, the bell jangling loudly. The store owner looked up with a fierce tension to his shoulders but seemed to relax when Merlin cast him a wave and a smile. Mentally checking off the supplies he had to get he nearly forgot the bandages and had to ask. The storekeeper was looking at him pretty intensely but pulled out a first aid kit from behind the counter

"We're running out, we had to put them here. People were just taking them."

The reminder of why bandages were the new hot item caused his brows to contract. He was pulling his wallet out when he noticed the paper. The front page picture was of Arthur and it was incredible. He picked it up and smiled. I'll have one of these too thanks."

"Of course, sir. And can I say thank you, sir."

He shot the man a startled glance and the man's eyes went down to the paper and back. He looked down too. When he'd tossed it on the counter the bottom half of the front page had been exposed and there he was - one hand under someone's elbow, the other hand out seemingly fending off the rocks with sheer will. He knew it was magic but even if you didn't it was pretty extraordinary. He looked at the store owner and saw a shining light in the man's eyes that he was completely unprepared for.

"Uh, well, you're welcome. Yeah. Thanks." Talk about awkward. But the store owner simply smiled and tried to wave away his money. "Oh, no no, I want to pay, here, take it." He shoved it across the counter.

The store man frowned but then his brow cleared and he slowly picked up the money. "A true hero, you are, and your mate. He's what I call a proper leader. Give him our thanks too. We all noticed you know, that he helped everyone, whatever their class or colour I mean. A true hero."

Merlin nodded and smiled, flicking a hand to the man in farewell as he backed out of the shop. England was in a sorry state if someone helping people in need was out of the ordinary. Outside even the air was still. He frowned to himself as he tucked the paper under his arm and walked back up the road.

He didn't pick up Mordred's presence until his arm had been grabbed and he'd been pulled into a small alley. Without thinking, a protective shield sprang up and Mordred stumbled back.

"Damn you, Merlin, I just want to talk!"

He kept his hand out, fingers extended with the power barely restrained.

"Really. Ever heard of the words 'excuse me'? Ever thought that people might be happier to listen to you talk if you didn't assault them first?"

Mordred's hands were down by his sides, palms facing behind him. His shoulders were tense but he didn't look as if he was about to pounce. Not that he could be trusted.

"So, talk. What do you want to say?"

The young man's words came out in a rush, as if afraid if he kept them in they'd stay trapped for good. "I want to join you."

He stared at the druid, mind blank. "I think I misheard you. Did you say you want to join me? Us?"

"Yes". Mordred's voice shook a little and when he ran his hand through his hair Merlin noticed that his hand was trembling also.

"Well, forgive me for saying so but it didn't exactly work out well for us last time that happened."

"And whose fault was that?" Mordred's voice was sharp but Merlin could hear the hurt beneath it.

"Do you still blame Arthur? She made her decision, she wouldn't let him give her mercy. She wanted to be a martyr."

The young man's lips pressed together and a sharp line appeared between his brows. "No. Kara wouldn't have done that. She knew how I felt, how much I needed her to live. She would have lived for me"

He sighed. Over a millennium and he could still feel the pain of a young man whose world had been ripped apart. "Mordred. I'm sorry. I speak only the truth. I have no need to lie. If you must blame someone then blame me."

Mordred stared at him a second before brushing his sleeve over his face harshly. "No. I know you did not betray us. Loyalty has always been your biggest weakness. I blame myself."

He did reach out then and gripped Mordred by the shoulder. "No. Blame is pointless. We were all of us caught in a destiny that dragged us to dance to its bidding. You did what you thought right when you tended to her hurts. You approached Arthur honestly to beg for her life. A broken heart can make a man foolish and mad beyond belief. I have seen it many, many times."

Mordred took a breath and nodded. Merlin gripped the young man's shoulder again once briefly then stood back, arms crossed across his chest.

"So, tell me now. Why do you wish to leave Keliandra, join Arthur once more?"

"She misuses the magic."

Images flashed into his brain, a young girl standing over a dying cow, smiling as the villagers cried; a young woman walking away from a deadly fight, smiling as she pocketed money; and a screaming woman devoured by the flames.

He nodded. "She always did."

Mordred's fist were clenching and unclenching by his sides. "She woke me, brought me into this world, reminded me of all that had hurt me. She told me about your betrayals and I hated you then Emrys. Hated and feared you. But that day by St Paul's it was like seeing the person behind the shadow, realising that the shadow was never really real." The glance from the young man's eyes was sad but hopeful, and he slowly uncrossed his arms.

"I remembered other things, things she had tried to stop me from seeing. I remembered a boy, alone and hurt and frightened and the warlock who risked everything to save him. I remembered a young man desperate to serve a king he admired and I remember how, although you never trusted me, you never told Arthur I had magic."

"It might have saved a lot of pain if I had."

"Perhaps. But I for one am glad you did not. Those days in Arthur's service were the happiest in my life."

Merlin's free hand rubbed over his face and he set the bag with his shopping down at his feet. "Mordred. I know that you loved Arthur like a brother, but you did kill him. And you did attack him the other day. These aren't things we can just ignore."

The young man's jaw tensed. "I understand, Emrys. I only hoped…" He shuffled and let out a sigh. "I saw the videos. I saw Arthur and you saving all those people. Knowing that I was partly responsible for their hurt in the first place, well that doesn't sit well with me. I know you have no reason to trust me, or to believe me, but I swear to you, on all that is most precious to me, on the magic itself, that I seek only to help you."

His lips compressed, he held Mordred's gaze. Morgana would tell him to trust Mordred, but there were those in their group who still distrusted her. But more importantly, there was the prophecy to think of, and his vision. If his foreseeing could be trusted, then for Arthur to live, Mordred had to join them.

Guess that settled that then.

He bent down and picked up the shopping. "I can't guarantee you'll get a warm welcome, in fact I can guarantee you won't. Morgana will be happy to see you, but even Arthur has limits to his forgiveness. I'll do what I can but I won't force them to accept you; you'll have to convince them".

The light that came into Mordred's eyes sparked a hurt in his chest and he sighed. So much hope.

"Thank you Emrys. Merlin. I swear I will not let you down".

"Come on then, they're waiting". He walked off towards the flat and after a moment he heard Mordred's hurried steps behind him.

Chances are he might regret this, but his foreseeing was ice in his heart; if this meant Arthur would live then it was worth the risk. The fact that it meant his own death was more certain was immaterial. Arthur was all that mattered.

#

As they got to the door Merlin paused and held Mordred's gaze. "Let me do the talking. Morgana had a difficult welcome and yours will be worse. Just, don't rise to anything they say, alright?"

Mordred nodded, his lips pressed together and a line between his brows. Merlin sighed inwardly. "Don't worry, I won't let them be too awful."

A half smile was all he received in response but Mordred's eyes seemed to lose a little of their shadow.

The open door let out smells of breakfast and coffee, and he could hear Gwen's voice, telling a story if the appreciative laughter was anything to go by.

"Merlin? Is that you?" Morgana appeared in the doorway, and his heart sang at the sight of her snuggled in his sweater with her hair up and a mug of coffee between her hands.

"I brought someone to see you," he said, and moved aside, letting her see Mordred.

The coffee mug fell and with a flash and a word he caught it with magic, settling it on the side table. Her face was alarmingly pale. He'd thought that she'd be pleased to see Mordred but on second thoughts this might have been a very bad idea.

"Hello Morgana".

"Mordred". Morgana's voice was barely audible but a sudden silence in the other room indicated that she'd been heard. Merlin heard a chair being pushed back and grimaced. Why did these things never happen the way he hoped?

He stepped forward to take Morgana's hand. "Mordred ran into me on the street. He wants to join us."

Her eyes lit up and a smile began to transform her face. Heart sinking, he held tightly onto her hand. "It's not our decision Morgana. He needs to see Arthur."

Her eyes hadn't left Mordred's face but at that they flicked up to his and away. "Of course. Can you give us a moment first please?"

He looked down into her eyes and then at Mordred. The bond between them had always been so strong, so immediate.

And yet, Mordred had betrayed her twice to go to Arthur. An old sadness filled him. So much hurt and betrayal - they had none of them been free of it.

He gently placed an errant curl behind her ear. "I will try and hold them as long as you need." He tried to tell her with his eyes that she could trust him to speak for Mordred and he could only hope that she would.

Leaving them in the hall he went into the sitting room and shut the door, leaning against it and smiling ruefully.

"So, I know how much you all like surprises. I ran into Mordred in the High Street. Turns out he wants to switch sides and I, well, I promised him a hearing."

Arthur stared at him as if trying to figure out what in the world he was doing. He wished he knew that himself. The knights, as predicted, were less restrained.

Leon was in his face, using his extra inches to lean over him. "What do you think you're doing Merlin? Has your obsession with Morgana blinded you to all sense? Arthur's bane, his doom, and you bring him over for a chat?"

He breathed in slowly, trying to control his rising anger. "Leon, back off. I won't ask you again"

The knight held his eyes for a second and then flung away to confront Arthur.

"You can't be seriously considering allowing him to do this, Sire?"

Arthur raised a brow at him and Leon took a breath and stepped away. "I apologise if I spoke out of turn, Arthur, but this is Mordred we're speaking of".

Gwaine walked towards Merlin and he met his eyes but kept his back on the door.

"Merlin, have you gone completely nuts?"

He took in Gwaine's puzzled face and read the hurt beneath the challenge.

"Gwaine, I know it seems mad but you need to trust me. This is the only way to save Arthur. And you didn't see him in the square, I did."

"As did I," said Elyan. "He was using magic to blast buildings and was headed straight towards Arthur. If it hadn't been for your magic, Merlin, I think the outcome of that day would have been very different".

A half smile quirked his lips. "So now my magic's alright, is it?" He shook his head. "You're wrong about Mordred. He was headed to Arthur, yes, but he stopped and came and helped me rescue those under the buildings. He gave up on fighting Arthur and left the square. He remembered more than just his bitterness and hurt. He remembered his love for Arthur."

Arthur remained silent, a frown on his face.

"Arthur, you need to trust me on this"

"Sire, with all due respect to Merlin I don't know if you can trust him. He's left Morgana and Mordred, the two biggest evils we ever faced, out in the hall to get their stories straight and plan their attack."

"Leon, you seriously need to shut up about Morgana!"

Arthur stepped forward at last. "Merlin, calm down. Leon, back off. Merlin. I do trust you, you know I do, but as much as I hate to admit it, Leon is right. Your affection for Morgana might be leading you to trust where trust is not warranted, and no, I'm not talking about Morgana - you know I trust her also. I'm speaking of Mordred. He did strike the blow that killed me, in case you've forgotten."

Merlin drew himself up, his face setting into what felt like stone.

"Forgotten? I have spent every day for over a thousand years reliving those moments, wondering how I could have changed it. Do not ever ask me if I have forgotten what it was like to watch you slain in front of me and, with all my magic and all my power, to be helpless to stop it."

Arthur broke the silence with a muttered apology and a hard hug around his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Merlin. You know I didn't mean it like that."

He was still rigid, unwilling to bend.

"Arthur, you have to believe me when I say that if I didn't think that having Mordred on our side would help you to stay alive I wouldn't suggest it."

Gwen had stayed silent throughout, her mouth twisted and her arms crossed in front of her. She stepped forward now and placed a gentle hand on his face. "This is something to do with your vision at the lake, isn't it Merlin?"

His eyes flew to hers. "Yes. Something like that"

Elyan spoke up. "Vision? Care to share?"

"No, not really".

Percival snorted and flung himself into a chair. "Then we are at the same place we were before. We all have tied-up emotions about that little bugger. He was like a little brother to us all and none of us can forget or forgive his ultimate betrayal. I can't see a way forward"

Lancelot spoke, and his calm voice cut through the tension.

"I never knew Mordred. I have no emotional baggage to cloud my judgement; let me hear what he has to say - I believe I know truth when I hear it."

Merlin straightened his shoulders and looked intently from Lancelot to Arthur, who was considering the other knight with a long glance. Finally, his king spoke. "I believe you will, Sir Lancelot. Always you were the most noble of knights. We will hear Mordred and you will give me your judgement. The decision, of course, will be mine and the responsibility will be mine alone".

The rest of the knights didn't look happy, but Gwen nodded and smiled sympathetically at him.

"Go and ask him in, Merlin".

He took a breath and opened the door. Morgana and Mordred were standing side by side and from the stricken look on Morgana's face he knew she'd heard Leon's angry shouts. Her arms were wrapped around her waist and Mordred had an arm around her shoulders.

"Is it even worth going in?" she asked.

Stopping in front of them he lifted her chin with a finger. "Yes. Yes, it is. Lancelot will hear you out Mordred. You couldn't ask for a fairer hearing. They're ready for you now."

Mordred nodded and withdrew his arm from around Morgana, straightening his jacket. His face betrayed his nervousness but that wasn't a bad thing. Morgana didn't move.

"Morgana, are you coming too?"

She didn't meet his eyes until he put his head down into her vision. His heart hurt at the anger and pain he read there.

"It's useless Merlin, I told you before - they will never trust me. And my being here only makes them distrust you."

Ice formed around his heart and he stepped closer. "Don't talk like that Morgana, Leon's being an idiot is all."

Her smile was sad and it shattered him. "It won't work Merlin. I knew it wouldn't, I just didn't want to admit it. And, you know, as much as it hurts, I don't blame him." She walked past him as he tried to find the words to change her mind. He could see her put her armour on as she walked and, by the time she walked through the door, Mordred in her wake, he knew that her face would show no sign of her distress.

Mordred spoke haltingly, but to Merlin's ears his words rang true. Arthur was stern, his jeans and t-shirt doing nothing to take away from his majesty and authority - this was a royal court and they all knew it. Lancelot leaned forward from where he sat on one of the armchairs. Hands clasped loosely between his knees and his face intent but not harsh. Merlin didn't bother looking at Leon but he snuck a glance at Gwaine. His friend was frowning but when he caught his eye he raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

He listened to Mordred's apologies and confused explanations for his behaviour with really only half an ear. It was when Mordred spoke of how Keliandra had found him that he pricked up his ears.

"She was there one day, outside my school. I hated my school, I never felt like I truly fit in and none of it seemed important to me. She was older than me and very beautiful. I was a stupid 18-year-old and when she talked to me I was flattered."

Merlin grimaced. She'd used that trick a lot with young men around their town. Before they knew it, they'd committed crimes just to win a smile.

"She didn't tell me who I was right away, but she paved the way with lots of stories of betrayal and hurt. I felt like I was the only one who understood her and I was filled with righteous anger against those who had wounded her. She began to talk of someone called Emrys, and every time she did I felt shame and anger. By the time she took me to her leader and awakened me I was already in a state of fear of that name."

Arthur raised a hand, interrupting. "Her leader? Who is that?"

"I didn't see her under her cloak, and no-one told me her name. I know it was a woman from her voice and the way they talked about 'The Lady", but I swear I know no more than that."

Merlin tried to ignore the way Leon looked pointedly at Morgana. Mordred's voice carried nothing but sincerity and, despite himself, he believed that he really did not know.

Arthur looked steadily at Mordred for a moment before nodding slowly and gesturing for him to continue.

"When I was awakened I remembered the end. I remembered how Kara was put to death, I remembered how nothing I said seemed to persuade you to change your mind, I remembered my anger and sorrow at Merlin's betrayal of my trust. I remembered my death at your hands."

Arthur let out a sigh. "If that's all you remembered it's not surprising you hated so blindly."

Mordred dropped his head and Merlin tightened his arms where they were crossed in front of him. It wouldn't do to show sympathy for him in this court. He and Mordred alone knew how much he had distrusted the young druid simply because destiny had told him to. Mordred looked up and his eyes met Merlin's.

"You have to understand that for 6 years all I heard was stories of Emrys' betrayal of Keliandra, his hate for others of power in his lust for supreme control."

Merlin couldn't help it; his face screwed up and his head went on one side as he tried to wrap his head around the extraordinary idea that he wanted control.

"I can tell you this, Mordred, if I wanted supreme control I would have taken it long ago. There's never been much to stop me."

"Merlin". Arthur's voice held a familiar tone of admonishment and he raised his hands and stepped back. It was true though.

"I know that now, Merlin. Indeed, I think somewhere deep inside I always knew. But it didn't hit me until that day in the square when so much more of my memory came back. There had been so much kept from me." His voice broke a little. "To remember in a rush how much you cared for someone, for a lot of people, who you had been actively hating for years is kind of overwhelming."

Morgana spoke quietly into the silence. "I know exactly what you mean."

The two of them shared a look and the kinship was obvious to all in the room. Merlin frowned. There was more grist to Leon's mill.

"And then, after, when Keliandra was so angry at her failure, I snuck away and looked up the news on my phone and all I saw was the bravery and courage and nobility of all of you. It shamed me. I wanted to join you because I remembered something I told Morgana once; that hatred could never triumph and that I hoped that one day she would find the love and compassion that used to fill her heart."

Merlin watched Mordred's profile. He wished he'd known that back at the time. He might have seen Mordred differently. Lancelot was smiling and nodding gently, a good sign surely and Arthur was looking at both Mordred and Morgana with a softened expression.

Leon's voice cut into Merlin's optimism.

"Excuse me, Sire but I would like to clarify something. Mordred, you say you knew about Merlin or Emrys or whatever you call him at the time?"

Mordred's chin went up. "I knew since the moment I met him, when I was a child."

"You knew he was a sorcerer and you never said anything? I mean, no offense Merlin, but what I'm hearing is that you both knew the other used magic and neither of you thought fit to tell Arthur?"

He shared a look with Mordred before turning a stony gaze on Leon. "For someone who doesn't mean offense, Leon, you're dishing it out quite a bit."

Arthur held up his hand again. "Leon, I see your point. But let me remind you that Merlin used magic to protect me, to guard Camelot. And Mordred was a trusted knight who proved his loyalty many times. The fact that they protected each other does them no disservice in my eyes."

Arthur's eyes met his and he found himself standing taller at the deep trust he saw there. No matter how many times Arthur did it, every time he stood up for his use of magic and showed his faith in him warmed his heart. This was what he had hoped for every day in Camelot.

Arthur gave him a small smile and turned to face Mordred, his face becoming grave. "Thank you, Mordred, for your words. We will deliberate and I will pass judgement."

The gravity slipped a bit as he raised his brows at Merlin. "Tea? I'm sure everyone could use some?"

A half smile quirked his lips as his brows drew in. "Right away my lord." He couldn't help bowing slightly on his way out and despite the situation enjoyed the satisfied smile in Arthur's eyes.

#

He gathered up the tea cups and put a passing hand on Mordred's shoulder. Waiting was always the worst. He put the cups in the sink, wincing as they clattered in the silence. Morgana had slipped away from the kitchen a while ago and he went to find her. She was in the room that he'd made available for her, sitting on his bed, a half packed bag on her knee looking at the fresh bunch of purple flowers he'd picked for her first thing that morning.

His heart stopped. She brushed a tear away and he dropped to his knees beside her. "Don't do this, Morgana. Don't leave me."

Her smile was tremulous and her tears made streaks down her cheeks.

"I'm not leaving you Merlin, but I can't stay here. No matter what they decide it's so clear that I'm dividing the knights. Arthur doesn't need that and neither do you. And if I'm honest, you don't need me either." Her hand went to his mouth, stopping his protest. "My power is not equal to yours, Merlin. We both know Arthur cannot lose with you at his side."

His foretelling rose in his mind and he closed his eyes. For Arthur to live he must die, and then Morgana would be lost to him again. Maybe it was fairer to her to let her go now? He sighed and pressed a kiss into her palm. No. That was something he couldn't do.

"I can't let you go Morgana"

She laughed, choking. "You don't get to let me do anything, Merlin. I am Morgana Pendragon and I make my own choices. And I choose to leave before I'm forced to go or before I drive the knights away from Arthur." She stood abruptly and he turned to lean his back against the bed, knees up in front of him and hands tightly clenched.

"Where will you go?"

"Home. At least, to the only home I seem to have now." She cast a glance around the room and, with a pang, Merlin realised she'd come to see his house as a home.

"Please, Morgana. Reconsider"

She set her shoulders and zipped the bag. "I have reconsidered. That's why I'm going".

"Merlin!"

His head swung round to the door. "Yes, Gwaine?"

"Merlin, Arthur's made his decision."

Reading the compassion in his friend's face Merlin's heart sank further into his boots.

"Be right there".

Gwaine looked as if he'd say something more, glanced between the two of them and then left, thumping the doorway lightly as he went.

Merlin couldn't look up from his twisted hands. Morgana walked to stand in front of him and her hand came down. "Come on then, Merlin. Let's go to the judgement."

He accepted her hand and stood. "You know that Arthur doesn't want to make these decisions?" He knew that without hearing it. He'd seen the light in Arthur's eyes as he'd looked at Mordred. His king wanted nothing more than to return to the golden days where friendship was not complicated.

Her face was stern. "I know. But they're still made."

They walked into the sitting room and Morgana went to stand by Mordred. Merlin stopped in between the two sides, arms crossed and shoulders back. He wouldn't meet Arthur's eyes - there was no point. It was clear what the decision was and he knew his king wouldn't have made it lightly.

"Mordred, it took guts to come here and I want to acknowledge that. I personally believe that you have changed and that you mean well. But it isn't just me at stake. We cannot build Albion on disunity. We cannot fight the deep divisions in our society if we stand divided ourselves. You have to understand that trust takes time and, while I welcome the arm of friendship that you have extended, I have to say that you cannot stay here. I, we, want for you to remain in contact and to be part of our endeavour but, at one remove, so to speak."

The words made sense, they really did, but he knew they were wrong. So wrong.

"Building unity starts here, Arthur, and you know that. You can't ask them to leave."

Arthur held up his hand, every inch of him a king. "Merlin, I have made my decision. And I have only asked Mordred to go, Morgana is still welcome."

He pressed his lips together before he said something he'd regret.

Morgana shouldered her bag and looked around the room. "I think 'welcome' is hardly the word. And I can't really blame you. I will not be giving up on Mordred so easily as you do. I will be going with him."

His heart like stone he stared at the floor.

"Morgana", said Arthur, reaching out a hand "I'd really like you to stay."

"As would I." said Gwen.

Morgana walked forward and embraced Gwen tightly. "You have always been so loyal Gwen. Look after Arthur."

She stepped back in the silence and he looked up. She was looking back at him and he could tell she was fighting to keep her face expressionless. Mordred's face reflected the hurt and shame he felt. When his eyes met Mordred's he heard his voice in his head.

 _You will let them do this Emrys? Drive her out? It is not our past treachery but fear of our magic that makes them do so._

 _I know. But I need to protect Arthur or magic will never return. Do not judge him harshly, Mordred, he did not want to do this._

Mordred nodded slowly.

 _And, Mordred? If you let harm come to Morgana I will find you and you will learn the meaning of fear._

A little smile grew on Mordred's face. _Ah, so it is true, you love her!_

Morgana said nothing but as she walked past him he reached out and stopped her. He held out his hand, his fingers closed on his palm. "Aefre blostma" As his fingers opened, the fresh scent of the purple bloom in his hand filled the air. "For you. This one won't die."

Her eyes filled and she took the flower with fingers that trembled. "Thank you, Merlin."

His gaze met hers and, oblivious to anything but the pain in the emerald depths of her eyes, he bent his head and kissed her. Her lips were soft, fitting perfectly to his, and he felt his soul sing against the chains of his sorrow. A tear escaped and he held her close for a magical second before she pulled free, one hand on his cheek and the other clutching the flower, his promise to her, tightly.

Then she was gone and his heart went with her.

Arthur was at his side and he rubbed his hand under his eye and tried to summon a smile for his king. "It's alright Arthur, I understand. I do, really."

His friend said nothing but punched him in the arm. His smile grew lopsidedly. "Don't you remember that's not the way to cheer people up?"

Gwaine walked past and muttered "works for me," and cuffed him lightly on the head.

He caught Gwen's gaze and shook his head at her screwed up face. "They're knights."

She sighed. "Yes but they shouldn't be idiots too. I'm sorry Merlin."

He gritted his teeth and turned to leave. "I know. Look we've got things to organise. Let's get on with it, hey?"

Leon caught his arm as he walked out the door. "Merlin, I'm sorry, I know you care for her, but it was her choice to go."

He looked at the knight and felt the fire flare up. He shook off Leon's hand and tried to force the magic under.

"If I lose her, Leon, I will never forgive you".

#

He was reading in his room when Leon knocked on the door. Glancing up and away he turned a shoulder to the knight and turned the page so hard it nearly ripped. "What?"

"Merlin, I need to talk to you. You got a minute?"

"Does it look like I have a minute?"

"It's important".

"Fine." He tossed the book onto the desk and, standing, turned to face Leon, arms crossed and jaw clenched. He really didn't need this right now, but the other man looked nervous, his hand rubbing at the stubble on his chin and the other resting where a sword pommel would once have fit neatly into his palm.

"Spit it out then. What is it? Another reason Morgana must be the traitor? Because I don't need to hear it."

Leon stepped closer his hand moving in a quick negative. "No, but it's kind of to do with that. It's about my phone"

He uncrossed his arms, hands going to his hips, and couldn't stop his face from screwing up. "Your phone? You want to talk to me about your phone?"

"Just look, alright." Leon held out a smartphone with the back off, exposing the battery.

He let out a sigh, his hand rubbing his forehead he closed his eyes for a moment. "Leon, I can't use magic to fix your phone, it doesn't work like that."

"What? No, that's not what I mean. Look, next to the battery."

Frowning under his brows at the tall knight he noticed at last the tension in Leon's eyes and the tightness of the other man's jaw. He looked down at the phone. It looked like any opened smartphone, battery that never lasted as long as it was said it would, SIM chip… Wait a minute. Taking the phone from Leon he held it closer to his eyes. It was so small it was hardly noticeable, blending in with the metal and chips in the phone. He raised wide eyes to Leon's.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"I'm really sorry, but I think it is. I have no idea how it got there, I swear. My phone's always on me, how could anyone get to it?"

Merlin pried up the tracking device with his fingernail. Such a small thing to have caused so many problems.

"So, is it still active?"

Leon shook his head. "I doubt it. My whole phone's been fried since it fell in the water at Avalon."

He remembered now, seeing Leon with his phone on a rock next to the fire. He hadn't been paying a lot of attention; he'd been so caught up with Morgana and Arthur.

"You say it fell in the lake? How did that happen?"

Leon frowned, his head on one side. "Now that you mention it, it was kind of odd. I thought I heard it ring, it hadn't, but when I took it out of my pocket it just seemed to fly out of my hand and straight into the water."

"And we haven't been tracked since then"

Leon shook his head. "Not that we know of anyway."

A smile grew on his face. Seems like Freya had given them another gift.

"Merlin".

He looked up, taken aback at the subdued tone in Leon's voice.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry for blaming Morgana. It seems like it was me, or at least my phone, the whole time. It's just so hard to trust her. It's not only the memories I have of her, it's my whole family training. We were taught from our earliest bedtime stories that she was the witch we must always beware of." Leon shifted a little, as if uncomfortable. "Magic too, your magic, that's been really hard to accept. I am trying though; Gwaine reminded me the other day that I owe my life to the druids and their magic and I know that you'd do anything to keep Arthur safe. That you always did." He leaned forward earnestly, as if he could persuade Merlin by words alone. "It's just not easy."

Merlin took a moment, the phone clenched tightly in his hands. "Thanks" he said finally. "For saying it. I know it isn't easy for you, it's not been easy for me either, or for Morgana for that matter. You just have to trust me - there is nothing I won't do to protect Arthur."

He opened his fist and looked again at the tracking device. There was possibly a spell that could tell them a thing or two about who had placed it, and when. Glancing to the bookshelf he didn't see the book he wanted. Might be in the living room.

Arthur and Gwen were sitting close on the sofa, heads together over the laptop. He smiled. Arthur was fascinated by the internet. Give him books any day. He found the tome he wanted and, opening it, he sneezed from the dust.

The spell was there, and it was relatively simple. Conscious of eyes on him he nearly took it outside but instead sat down on one of the rickety chairs still drafted from the kitchen. This was who he was; whether it was easy for them to deal with or not was not his problem anymore. He'd hidden who he was for far too long.

"What are you doing?"

The interest in Arthur's voice was genuine and Merlin smiled to himself. Seemed he was more intriguing than the internet; score 1 for the warlock.

"Leon found a tracking device in his phone that was likely the way they've been on to us at every step. It's not active anymore, at least we don't think so, and I'm going to try and find out who placed it there."

"A bug?"

"Can you do that?"

He answered Gwen first. "Yes, a bug, a very cleverly hidden one. And, yes Arthur, I think I can. It's been a long time since I used this spell but it's not a hard one."

His palm opened and the bug lay there. He held his other hand over it and closed his eyes. "Spor manfremmend." He opened his eyes just as the gold flashed away. The bug began to glow, at least it did to his eyes.

In his vision, he saw Leon at his homestead in the countryside, saw him leave his phone on the sideboard when he sat down for dinner; a servant walked past and the phone was gone. He followed the servant to the dumb waiter, saw her place the phone on the tray inside and push the button on the wall to send the dumbwaiter down to the kitchens. His mind's eye followed the phone and when he saw who took the phone at the other end he almost stopped breathing. The blond hair was swept up into a tight bun and she wore a simple chef's smock but he saw her face in his nightmares, he'd know her anywhere.

"Morgause. It is Morgause."

Arthur's face paled and Gwen's wide eyes flew to his.

"You must be mistaken. Mordred said nothing of Morgause."

"I doubt he knew. I think Keliandra has been running this show on Morgause's orders. I felt before that I recognised the tactics but they weren't hers. It's Morgause all over".

His blood ran cold. Morgana. There was no knowing how she'd react to this.

Arthur stood, Gwen following suit. "We need to move fast then, we need to find her and destroy her."

#

"Arthur, come look at this!"

Lancelot stalked into the kitchen, his laptop open and his glasses perched on his nose. He set the slim MacBook down roughly on the table in front of them, pushing the plate with Arthur's toast and eggs aside.

"Hey, watch it!" The jug began to topple as the plate knocked into it and Merlin reached out with his magic to stop the juice in mid-air. Slowly he coaxed it back into the jug and away from the keyboard of the laptop as the others watched in silence.

"Thanks, Merlin."

"Don't mention it, what's so important then?"

"Turns out we aren't the only ones trending on Social Media; look"

Lancelot clicked the mouse pad and a video began to play. It was of the men in black. Their faces were uncovered and he scanned each one, wondering if he recognised anyone. They were all much of a muchness, square jaws and buzz cut hair. Definitely a military or security look to them. They tramped through the grounds of St Paul's like human bulldozers. None used magic, they all carried short swords and clubs. Those who did not flee from them were scythed down with precision. His heart had slowed to a painful thud and hot prickles under his skin made him rub his arms where they were crossed in front of him. It would have been better if they had betrayed fury or any kind of emotion. The complete lack of passion as they hacked down those in front of them was sadly like times he'd seen before, times he'd hoped never to see again.

Gwen spoke into the silence, her voice like molten steel. "Click on another one, that BBC one there"

The video played and they watched in silence as the men in black walked over the dying and wounded scattered like leaves on the ground.

The normally rounded voice of the BBC reporter was shaky. "That these men are part of some terrorist organisation is beyond a doubt; they are too well organised to be any part of the spontaneous riots, and the attacks on the buildings betray a high level of professionalism. What is currently unclear is to which group they belong."

Terrorists. Well, that was kind of right. They were definitely aiming to inspire terror. He turned from the small screen, his elbows scraping past Percival's shoulders as he dug his hands into his hair. The smell of the brewing coffee turned his stomach and he reached over the sink and opened the window, letting in the fresh morning air. He leaned on the bench, his head bent, and the cool stainless steel began to heat under his hands. Control. He needed control.

"Merlin"

Arthur's voice cut into the maelstrom in his head and he looked over his shoulder at his king.

"Is there any chance those men have been ensorcelled? Do you think Morgause has put them under a spell of compulsion?"

His mouth twisted and he shook his head abruptly. "No. I think they're professionals who are doing what they are simply to get paid. Those who lead them may share in Morgause's vision but these men… they're no idealists. They're mercenaries. Nothing more."

"So, your friend Sam was right. His firm was supplying men for more than security."

The thought of Sam, missing for days now, made his gut twist again and he pushed off the bench and reached for a glass. The water ran out of the tap too fast and splashed. A hand came down on his shoulder and he put the glass down and wiped his mouth, looking sideways at Gwaine.

"It's not your fault, Merlin. Sam knew the risk he was taking."

"A risk I asked him to take"

"Gwaine is right", said Lancelot. "This is none of it your fault; these men are acting on orders from Morgause but I bet it's through someone else lower down, and the best thing we could do is to find their base of operations and get rid of it."

He looked over at Arthur who caught his eye and nodded. "Well said, Lancelot. We will cut it out as a canker is cut out."

Gwaine leaned back on the bench next to him. "Let's just hope it's not a hydra, and cutting off one head doesn't lead to five more".

"It might already be a hydra", Gwen said. He turned around, but kept his grip on the bench, feeling the heat under his hands rise and fall with his pulse. Gwen and Leon were leaning over the MacBook.

"Meaning?" Arthur asked.

"Meaning that Leon and I think we've figured out a way to trace them but if we're right it will lead us to several different bases of operations and several different groups, several different leaders."

His gaze narrowed. "How will you trace them?"

Leon didn't meet his eyes, still too embarrassed by his mistakes, but his voice was clear. "We've managed to zoom in on some of the footage - although the men are all wearing the same kind of basic uniform there are some small but different logos on those in different groups" he pointed at the screen, on which an enlarged and fuzzily pixalated symbol barely stood out from the black vest of the mercenary. "This would seem to indicate that there are different security or military organisations involved."

Percival pulled out a chair and spun it round, sitting with his big arms crossed against the back of the chair. "Can we figure out which ones?"

Gwen and Leon shared a look. "We can, although the logos are very blurred and there's no guarantee they're using ones that are recorded anywhere. But it would be faster if we had help. Leon's not too keen on the idea though"

"I just think we can do it ourselves."

He felt his stomach tighten. "And who would this help be?"

Gwen's brown eyes met his, strength and trust shining from them. "Morgana. She's a hound when it comes to tracking money and investments. She's not just good, she's the best. She'll be able to find out which security firms or training groups have had a sudden influx of money, regardless of where they've tried to hide it, and that will help us narrow down who is likely to be supplying men for Morgause."

"Do it". Arthur's voice carried no room for discussion. "That is, if she still wants to help us after we essentially kicked her out."

"She'll help". No matter how hurt she was, Morgana was loyal.

#

The garden was overgrown and the grass hadn't been mowed for some time. The wet stalks brushed against his jeans, leaving damp lines behind. The corner of the manor house jutted into a small patio, the pavers mossed over. Morgana had taken impressively little time to track down three major possibilities. Two of them were close enough to allow a reconnaissance. Lancelot had taken Leon, Percival and Elyan to a place out in rural Northhamptonshire, about an hour's drive away. The rest of them had come here, to a small village south of London and this decrepit old house.

Arthur motioned him and Gwaine to go around one side and he and Gwen took the other. The windows were mostly dark but here and there soft light glowed. It looked as if they were staying away from the rooms on the outside of the house and keeping the betraying light away from the windows. He drifted close to the wall, shaking off the snagging prickle weeds that caught at him as he walked softly through them. There was a stronger light at a window further down and away from the side of the house that fronted on to the road. He tapped Gwaine on the shoulder and jerked his head towards the window. Gwaine lifted his eyebrows and his mouth quirked up. The knight leaned closer "I take it you want a lift?"

"Well, a stool rather."

Gwaine's lips turned down but he shrugged and when they had crept up to the window he got down on his hands and knees with no complaint, giving just the right height to lift Merlin's head up to be able to look in the window. The sill was not brick like the wall but wood and he felt it soft and rotting beneath his fingers. The inside of the room was dim but he could see just enough of the three men in black who stood round a table near a fireplace - it was the fireplace giving off the light. They were going through papers and every so often one would be assigned to the flames. No, not papers, manuscripts. His heart stopped and he would have jumped through the window had not Gwaine reached up and grabbed his ankle. "Oi" the knight hissed. "Stop it!"

His eyes burning, he watched them throw several more precious pages onto the fire. The smoke that curled up was coloured by the inks and magics that they were destroying. Morgause was greedy. Oh, Keliandra could blame him all she liked for being careful with the magic he'd taught her but he'd never sought to keep it from others forever.

The men were speaking but it was too difficult to hear through the window. He let out a breath, "ontynan eagpyrel" and the window inched upwards a crack, just enough to let their voices carry to his ears.

"What about their contact, Sam?"

He practically leaned his head on the glass, holding his breath.

"He won't be bothering us any longer. He's undergoing interrogation with Our Lady".

He started breathing again. Interrogation didn't sound good but it was better than dead.

Another man walked in and called them away from the fireplace. A map was spread out on the table and they began marking places off. As hard as he tried he couldn't hear any place names, but it sounded like the next attack would be soon.

"What about this next site? Says on the map there's a kindergarten there."

"Necessary collateral damage. We keep to the plan. Look at it this way, they'll be tearing each other apart soon enough anyway. We need something big enough to counter the image of unity that blasted Pendragon keeps putting forward. A few dead kids ought to do it".

His fingers clenched so hard on the rotten windowsill that it came away under his nails, crumbling on to the ground below.

"Children" he whispered. "They're speaking of killing children"

Gwaine's hand came round his ankle like a shot but it wasn't enough. Pushing off Gwaine, causing the other man to collapse with a grunt, he flung himself through the window, blowing the glass inwards before him with a word.

The men stumbled back, cursing. One man whipped out a gun and fired but he cast the bullets away and with a flick of his eyes the man went flying. The other two men cursed and drew apart, he turned to face one, knowing that the other was behind him.

Gwaine clambered in the window after him, landing heavily and rising with a roll only to have a sword at his neck before he could draw his own.

"You better stop with the magic, mate, or your pal here gets it".

The magic was curling around his fingers and the smoke of the fire seemed to be blurring his vision. The vein pulsing in his temple slowed as he took a breath. Control.

A noise sounded in the hall and Arthur was dragged in between two men, a gash in his side leaving blood on the carpet. Gwen's hair was half out of the bun she'd had it in and a side of her face was red and her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

Howling rage filled him. "Did they strike you, Guinevere?"

The man holding her arm gripped it tighter making her wince and scowl. "We'll do it again if she doesn't behave."

"Arthur? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I've had worse." He met his king's eyes and wanted to smile at the attempt at a joke but instead all he saw was the battle of Camlan and Arthur felled by a mortal blow. The man holding Gwaine dragged him around to the others and moved his sword to Arthur's neck.

A red tide of heat and anger pulsed through him and both arms rose at his sides, palms outwards. He turned his gaze on the terrorists and knew satisfaction when they flinched.

"Come on now buddy, stand down or we'll hurt your mate further. He's for it anyway, but it can be your choice whether he goes slow or fast."

He ignored the man and let his eyes raise to the roof. He felt his eyes flash gold and he let the magic out. The wind came in the smashed window and down the chimney. Funnelling around the men, it knocked them to the ground. Furniture began to shift with the force of the gale and it was only Gwen's cry as something hit her head that snapped him out of it. With a word, the wind died as quickly as it had begun.

He walked slowly towards the men. They were still alive. He could change that. His head on one side he reached out and began closing his fist. The men began convulsing.

Arthur spoke from where he crouched by Gwen. "Merlin, stop! Think of what you're doing!"

He knew what he was doing. So much death, so much betrayal and hurt. It could all be wiped out - he had the power itching to escape from his fingertips.

Arthur's voice was low, urgent, and it pushed at the anger manifesting itself in dark ribbons of smoke around him.

"Merlin, all those years you taught me to do what was right. So many times you convinced me to rethink, to make a different choice. The one time I didn't listen to you I nearly brought doom upon Camelot. Don't do this. Don't give in to your anger, to your pain."

He shook his head slowly. "You didn't see it Arthur, you didn't see the children lying dead."

Arthur frowned. "What children?"

His view turned inside his memories "So many women and children. It keeps happening. All these long, long years and the world never learns."

"This is not the way to change that, Merlin."

He looked around the room, noting the broken furniture and the burning manuscripts.

"All these centuries, Arthur, waiting for you I watched the world. The world is full of pain and despair and I never did anything, never stopped it. I could have; there has never been a power like mine. I could have stopped everything. These men here - I hold their lives in the balance. One twist of my wrist and they will trouble the world no more"

Arthur pulled himself up from where Gwen lay, holding his wound. The blood was welling from beneath his fingers and dripping onto the carpet, bright against the pale cream. And then Merlin didn't see creamy wool, he saw stone, grass, and Arthur lying in his arms as the breath left him. He turned back to the enemy and tightened his fist; they were clutching at their necks, eyes rolling back in their heads.

"Merlin, No. This is not who you are!"

His voice felt like gravel and his eyes were dry. "I am who I am. There's no-one else to be."

"Merlin - please, I'm begging you, stop."

He let his hand loosen slightly and, dragging his eyes from the cowering gasping men at his feet, he turned his gaze on Arthur. His king's eyes were fierce but it was concern that drew his mouth down and made lines on his forehead.

"Merlin, stop and think - what good will this achieve? All you will do is create fear, not acceptance. There is enough fear in this world already."

His own eyes swam and he blinked, letting the tears fall.

"I could stop it, Arthur, all of it."

"What do you mean, stop it all?"

"If I stop it all we can start again"

Arthur walked carefully closer, arm outstretched with his hand extended and one hand still on his sword. "But you won't"

"Why won't I?"

Arthur reached him and slowly, gently, laid a hand on his shoulder. "Because I'm asking you, as your friend and as your king, not to".

Time seemed to still. He felt the pulse of the men's hearts flutter beneath his magic, he heard the rasping of Gwen's breath, he saw Gwaine come to stand next to Arthur, silent but sure. And Arthur's face filled his vision. Friend. King. Brother of the soul. He shuddered and when he sighed out his knees collapsed beneath him so that he landed on bent legs on the carpet. Control. He was conscious of Gwaine stripping the curtains into ropes to bind the men, taking their radios, and Arthur tending to Gwen. He closed his eyes and sought one who might understand.

 _Mordred. Mordred can you hear me?_

 _Emrys. What is it? I am here._

How to say it?

 _I am afraid._

Mordred's voice in his mind took on a deeper urgency. _Are you hurt? Is Arthur okay?_

 _Arthur is fine. Very kingly. I on the other hand am losing control._ His hands twisted around each other and he took a shuddering breath. _How do we do it? How do we keep the power chained so that we don't unleash hell on the world?_

His eyes opened and he looked at Gwen. Arthur had stopped the bleeding but there were streaks of it still down her face. Those men had bruised her but it had been him and his power who had knocked her out. Guilt washed over him and he looked away.

 _Emrys. Of all men I know, you are the one best suited to answer that question. How did you stop this time?_

A frown wrinkled his brow and he looked under his eyelashes at his friends.

 _Love. It was love that stopped me._

 _I told Morgana once that the love that binds us is more important than the power we wield. It was you who taught me that. You have the answers within you Merlin. Do not doubt yourself. We do not doubt you._

Arthur came over and held out a hand. Accepting it, he allowed his king to pull him to his feet. Arthur met his eyes with a half-smile and gripped his forearm tight. "Gave us a scare there, Merlin, but I knew you wouldn't do it. It's just not who you are."

He smiled a little. Maybe Arthur was right, it wasn't who he was, but he could never forget that it was who he might become.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER 10

The sun shone through the clouds as they emerged from Charing Cross underground, and the pigeons who refused to be driven out of Trafalgar Square left trails in the air, delighting the tourists who were out in force as always, and irritating the locals.

Merlin heard a grumbling like noise and looked sideways at Gwaine, who blushed. "Sorry. Haven't eaten since breakfast."

"A whole hour ago..."

Gwaine grinned. "Yes, a whole hour ago. All this running around and hiding captured bad guys in forests in the dead of night makes me hungry."

Gwen's laughter floated over his shoulder. "There's a coffee stall over there, they might have muffins"

"You had me at coffee. I'll be back in a tick. Don't have adventures without me"

Gwaine set off at a light jog towards the coffee stall in front of the National Portrait Gallery, setting off more pigeons.

Gwen rubbed her head and he felt his chest tighten. "Are you still sore?"

"What? Oh! No, no I'm not sore. Sorry that must have looked like a reproach! It isn't really. It's the glare more than anything."

He met her eyes and her blush faded.

"It's okay Merlin, we all lose it sometimes. Accidents happen."

His lips curved up slightly and he raised his brows. "Well, I'll try not to have any more accidents."

"Not going to lie, that would be good!"

He laughed and stood a little straighter.

Trafalgar Square spread out peacefully in front of him. He liked London in the mornings. The air always smelled fresher and the nearly empty streets always had an expectant look. It was peaceful. Surely nothing bad would happen here.

"Do you think you should have let Arthur go and speak to Aithusa? That hasn't exactly gone well so far."

"She likes him. That's why she bullies him. It's like I told Arthur, if we're right, and they're going for targets that are symbolic to Londoners, to England, then this is a likely spot, and it's more likely that I'll have a chance at spotting any magic than he will."

"And that's why you split Mordred and Morgana between Tower of London and Westminster?"

"Yeah." He pursed his lips. "It was kinda funny watching Leon trying to decide who he'd rather spend time with, but I'm glad he's with Mordred. That young man needs more looking after than you'd think."

They headed out into the square and he smiled at an old couple sitting side by side on one of the benches. The pigeons crowded around them as if it was a daily ritual and the lion statue above was a god watching over them.

"I do admit, I'm sorry to miss watching Arthur trying to get a straight answer out of Aithusa, that dragon is worse than Kilgharrah for a twisty answer".

His quiet mood was broken by a jarring feeling that seemed to push him off balance. Time slowed and his head dragged around to the opposite side of the square. Magic.

Gwen took his arm. "Merlin? What is it?"

He shook his head once, abruptly. The tug at his senses pulled again. "There". His voice rasped out. "They're coming."

He couldn't tell if the men who stood on the opposite side of the square were the ones they'd fought before. But they dressed the same and the same aura of menace radiated from them. A flash of sunlight as their leader drew a sword nearly hid the fact that this time some of them carried guns. He wasn't the only one to notice. People had seen men like these on their newsfeeds. The screams began, and that same dark miasma that had floated through St Paul's spread, and with it a sense of rage, of hopelessness.

It wouldn't be long before people turned on each other.

He turned to Gwen but stopped as his eye caught on the elderly couple he'd noticed before. The pigeons had fled with the noise and the fear in their eyes was almost painful.

"Quickly Gwen, we have to get everyone we can into the tube station, or at least make sure they're inside. And I mean everyone."

He was already running to help the elderly couple, and when Gwen's voice called out behind him asking why the tube station he threw a look over his shoulder.

"They can lock themselves in. Escape, if the train comes. We need to get them away from this." More men were visible now and they were beginning to attack people at random.

He could hear Gwen shouting to the people around him and saw Gwaine running towards him, coffee and doughnut thrown aside, frown distorting his face. "Gwaine! We'll get everyone we can into the underground! I need to you hold them off."

The knight surfaced in his friend, and Gwaine nodded grimly before turning, his sword drawn from a sheath under his coat.

He could see people running into shops, dragging their roller doors down. But there were some who remained outside, looking around as if for a weapon, faces grim and determined. Londoners didn't like terrorists.

The elderly couple were struggling, she was very frail and her cane slipped out of her shaking grasp. He threw an arm under her shoulder and gave her a bright smile. "Don't worry. Let's just get you in and sat down and we'll get you a nice cuppa. I won't let them harm you. I promise". Her thankful gaze sharpened and she gripped his hand so tightly he had to urge her to keep moving. "You! I recognise you! The eyes, but the rest of you is different."

"Margaret!"

He cast a smile at the clearly worried and embarrassed husband.

"It's okay, I guess lots of people have eyes like mine, but I would remember such a lovely lady."

She laughed. "Ah, but I was only a little girl, and though you were an old man then I would know you anywhere. The sirens sounded and I couldn't find my mother and I was so scared but you picked me up and ran and when we couldn't get in the shelter because they'd closed the doors you told me you wouldn't let the bombs hit me and you didn't. They fell all around us but I was safe. There was a wide space around us. They thought one of the bombs couldn't have gone off but I knew that it was you. No-one believed me though and you were gone. They called me Miracle Margaret."

It came back in a rush of memory. "And you're still a miracle. Don't worry, you'll be safe this time too but I need you to get in the station now."

She patted his arm and went happily with her husband down into the shelter of Charing Cross. A parking attendant shepherded a family down the curving stairs, the child crying in his mother's arms bringing back memories of the blitz and children's mangled bodies.

Gwen came racing up the station stairs. "Merlin! I can't see anyone else, the tube attendants are seeing to everyone and said they'll shut the gates - what do we do now?"

He turned to face the square.

"We fight."

He spared a glance towards the north where Arthur should be meeting Aithusa outside the city. Everything in him was driving him to go to Arthur's side but he knew in his soul that even if the attack was broader than he thought, Aithusa would protect the king. He hoped Morgana was safe.

#

Morgana thrust out her hand and let the power out. The black clad soldiers went flying back. She flicked her hair out of her eyes. Lancelot ducked a swinging blow and his sword met flesh. Elyan was standing in front of a group of people, protecting them against an enemy that would not stop. They would win, she had little doubt, but she could feel an energy she couldn't identify, but didn't like, building up. The people behind Elyan looked edgy and a flash of concern sparked on his face. Was it possible they would turn on him? On each other?

A tug on her senses and the world seemed to turn to molasses. She looked around in bemusement; is this what Merlin sees when he slows time?

The voice from behind her cut through the muffled air like a blade.

"Morgana. Sister."

Her stomach fell.

She turned, her eyes wide to try and keep the tears from falling. Morgause looked much the same as she always had. There was no scar on her face and strength shone out of her.

"Why are you here?" She hated that her voice was barely above a whisper. She cleared her throat. "Why are you doing this?"

A smile spread across her sister's face and she shut her eyes against the emotions it stirred.

"I admit, sister, I had hoped that you would have heeded the message Mordred sent you. I suggested it to him knowing the bond you had always shared."

Morgause reached out and touched her cheek lightly. Her jaw clenched and she jerked her face away. The other woman frowned.

"But it seems you have a newer and stronger bond."

Ice filled her veins. She had hoped that Morgause would not know.

"The warlock. Merlin." the sneer on her face when she said his name had Morgana's palm itching.

"Yes."

Morgause looked at her with eyes that didn't quite shield the hurt. "And you choose him, still? The warlock poisoned you, he killed you, Morgana."

"And I tortured him. Several times. Kicked him off a ledge when he was paralysed by magic and left him to die. I think we're probably even."

The words were flippant, a default defence, but as they left her lips she realised she meant it. The hurt of his betrayal still stung, but she could live with it. She could forgive it. The knowledge gave her strength.

Her sister tossed her hair back and smiled, but she could see the tension in her jaw.

"And the Pendragon? You know he can't win this. Would you side with him simply to be there to watch him die?"

"Win what? What is it that you want?"

Morgause stilled for a moment. Her arms went out and she waved at those around them. The world was still moving but in such slow motion it hurt to watch.

"I want a new world, Morgana."

"Albion. Arthur is destined to bring it back, Morgause, to bring the magic back. Why do you want to stop him if you want Albion also?"

The look in the other woman's face was difficult to read.

"Because he won't do what's necessary to make it happen."

A frown drew her brows down and she shifted back as Morgause moved closer, eyes boring into hers.

"A new world cannot be reborn while this one, this broken, damaged, weakened one, lives. To truly bring about Albion we must destroy this world. You've seen it yourself, the people are divided, they turn on each other.'

"Because of you, because of what you've done"

She gritted her teeth at Morgause's sadly shaking head. "No, sister, you know that isn't true. They were divided before I did anything.'

Images shot into her mind; deportations, hate crimes, people crossing the road to avoid others who didn't look like them. Her heart seemed to sink into the ground. It was true. Division had not been created, it had simply been allowed to grow. To fester and boil over.

Slowly a smile grew and her head lifted. "Arthur has changed that. He has brought unity."

A quick shake of the head and Morgause frowned. "It is not weakness that will allow the new world to grow. You understand strength, sister, you understand the need for a new world. One with no poverty, no dissension, and where magic is free."

"And one where Arthur is king?" She smiled into the silence. "No, I didn't think so. Is it a democracy then that you seek? Or rather your own head under the crown?"

"Only those who truly understand power can wield it well!"

She sighed. "You are wrong, Morgause. You would build a new world, but it would be one born of hatred and fear. That is no world I wish to be a part of."

Her sister's eyes closed. "Then you have made your decision. But, Morgana, if you survive this, if you change your mind, I will wait for your call. A raven will find me, even if your knights cannot."

A swirl of wind and the world came rushing back.

Morgause was gone.

She blinked away tears and sent a bolt of power at the nearest soldier. She missed and a section of the Tower wall crumbled. People were screaming, fighting each other to get away, and she clenched her fist. How was she supposed to stop this? A soldier ran towards her and she bent down to pick up a sword from the man at her feet. There were too many civilians in the way now. What if it had been a person and not the wall she hit when her aim went awry?

She swung the sword a couple of times, muscle memory kicking in just in time for her to block his swing. And then Arthur was there, at her back. They fought off the soldiers together; a sudden memory filed her head, of the attack at Ealdor, and she fought with renewed vigour.

With Arthur's arrival, it felt like the mood shifted. People began to fight their enemy together.

At the end, when all the soldiers had been defeated, she worked side by side with Arthur to tend to the wounded and comfort the scared. As he gripped her shoulder in passing, a sense of rightness passed through her. She had made her choice. And it was the right one.

#

The field was dark and Aithusa's wings caught the moonlight as she glided down towards them. Morgana reached forward and Merlin saw her face glow with happiness in her friend. The dragon's arrival cut the tension that had been building, or at least pushed it into a different direction.

Merlin bowed his head before addressing the dragon. "Aithusa, were you able to find any trace of her?"

"I am sorry, Merlin, but she is yet concealed from my eyes. I found a house from which evil sprang, but it was more of those undead monstrosities and I sent them on their way to hell. Whether she had ever been there I cannot tell, but the house will bother you no more. Morgause is clever, she will have hidden herself well."

Arthur pulled his coat closer around him. "Maybe the knights will have better luck. They've been trying to track her down using something called security cameras. Thank you anyway, Aithusa. And thanks again for getting me back to London in time to help Morgana."

His love quirked her lips. "See I thought it was you who needed help."

Arthur smiled back. "We always did fight well together."

He smiled at the two people who meant more to him than life. At least they would have each other if he was no longer there. Pushing that thought away, he hoisted the bag onto his back. "We best be off."

His king nodded but didn't move.

"Arthur? You ok?"

Arthur bent his head, arms crossed over his chest. His voice, when he spoke, was heavy. "I always wondered what I had done. What it was that had made you hate me so much."

Morgana's mouth twisted and he felt his heart drop. He remembered Arthur's face when he realised Morgana had betrayed them, the way he couldn't eat for days. He'd never understood it either.

Morgana took a step towards Arthur and then stopped. "I don't know, Arthur. That's one thing I can't seem to remember."

Aithusa's great head came down slowly in the middle of them, making them step back.

"But she did not, Arthur"

"What do you mean? And, for the love of heaven, no riddles please."

He smiled brightly at the dragon and tried to get his king's attention "Arthur…"

"No, really Merlin, I am so over riddles"

Aithusa blinked slowly. "Very well. This is perhaps too important for riddles. And it's also very simple; Morgana did not hate you."

He was aware of Morgana by his side. Without seeming to notice she had stepped closer to him. He reached out tentatively and put an arm around her shoulders, feeling the tension she tried to hide as she contradicted the dragon "but I did. I remember screaming that I wanted him dead."

"And yet you say you do not remember _why_ you hated him?"

He felt her tense under his arm. "No. No I don't remember that."

The dragon's voice was gentle. "What do you remember Morgana?"

She laughed, and it sounded broken. His arm tightened around her.

"Truly? I only remember why I admired him. He was so much of a better man than Uther ever was. I did hate Uther, I nearly killed him once, before..."

She stopped abruptly but Merlin knew what she was leaving out. Before he had poisoned her to stop Morgause's curse from destroying Camelot. His arm felt wooden and he nearly stepped away before he moved closer and held her shoulders tighter.

She leaned into him slightly and kept talking. "But even then, I couldn't go through with it, I let Uther live. Morgause was furious." She shook her head as if she was trying to shake off water. "It's like when I bring those memories into my head I feel certain that that was what I felt and thought, but now I can't truly remember anything except caring for Arthur. I thought he was an idiot at times. I still do. But I never wanted to hurt him and I certainly never wanted to hurt Gwen."

The dragon inclined her great head. "I believe Morgause knew that - it was the flaw in her plan. She couldn't persuade you that Arthur was every bit as much your enemy as Uther was, just as you later couldn't persuade Gwen that those at Camelot wished her ill."

Merlin let out a sigh. It was all so clear now. "Morgause used the mandrake root didn't she, Aithusa?"

The dragon nodded. "That is what I have always suspected. All I know is that when I was a recent hatchling I found myself drawn to the lady pendragon. She was hurt and not just in body but in her mind. I tried my best but as I was only small and Kilgharrah could never get over his distrust of her, I could only heal her body. I thought I was beginning to help her mind but then we spent three years in that oubliette and neither of us was truly ourselves when we came out of that."

His heart pounded even as stone filled his gut at the thought of the horrors they must have endured in the darkness. If this was true, it explained so much.

"Morgana, the dreams you have now, the feelings you have now, they are your own, not those of the half shade created by the mandrake's madness. That's why you don't see yourself celebrating in your dreams when you kill Arthur." He didn't want to say the next bit but he owed it to her. "And that's why your deaths at my hands replay themselves."

She looked into his face and her whispered voice broke his heart.

"I know now why you did it, and I have forgiven you, but when you poisoned me, turned against me, that was the biggest betrayal because of all people you were the one I thought I could trust completely."

He couldn't meet her eyes but, as he looked away from her face, his glance caught on her cardigan. She still wore the flower he'd given her when she left, tucked carefully behind a brooch. He reached out a finger and touched the petals gently.

Arthur's voice caught his attention and he met Morgana's eyes and tried to smile.

"Aithusa, you said you were drawn to the Pendragon. What do you mean?"

"Exactly that, Arthur. No riddles. I was always drawn to your family, but to Morgana in particular. When I saw her hurt outside the castle I didn't hesitate to heal her. I knew then that she was important."

Merlin frowned as he looked at the dragon. He'd always wondered about that, felt hurt by it too if he was honest. "When you hatched, when I called you forth from your long sleep, Kilgharrah called you a good omen for the Pendragon. He said you boded well for Albion."

Arthur grimaced at him. "Now you're the one with the riddles."

"Sorry. I don't mean to be mysterious, I'm just working things out. Perhaps it was all meant." He turned back to Aithusa "Maybe you were meant to protect Morgana so she could help Arthur."

He turned to Morgana. "What did the prophecy say? The one the Lady gave you."

Her eyes widened. "I think I see where you're going with this. There's a bit about the circle having an end which I took to mean that we could change what had been before. It goes on to say: "The priestess and warlock side by side"

He pointed at her and then his own chest. "Us, clearly"

"'Arthur stands, he might yet fall,'"

"Yeah, that bit's not so good"

"'When courage and strength have magic twinned,'"

He flung his arms out, trying to contain the excitement. "That's the one! That's what I thought. Courage is Arthur, Strength is Gwaine, and maybe all the knights, and magic twinned comes back to us again."

A smile crinkled the corners of her eyes. "And I'm pretty sure I know what the next bit means. "The druid boy no longer in thrall" has to be Mordred, he's left Keliandra's side and therefore is no longer in thrall to Morgause."

Merlin inhaled deeply "Then magic will return until the world's end".

Arthur coughed. "You know, I've never asked before, but why is it so important that magic comes back? I mean, I don't have a problem with it coming back. Not anymore anyway. But I still don't understand why it's so important?"

He smiled. He'd had a long time to think about this. "Balance, Arthur. Magic keeps the world in balance. It's part of the earth, part of us all, and when it is stifled, pushed out, forgotten, then the earth dies a little. It's dying a lot at the moment. But if this prophecy is true then magic will not only return, but it will stay for good. We will truly have done the world a great service." He quirked his eyebrows at the dragon. "and at least this prophecy has a happy ending."

Aithusa blinked slowly at him and he heard her voice in his mind. _The ending is not certain to be happy for all, Merlin. You must be careful. I know what you mean to do._

He straightened his shoulders and met the dragon's gaze. _Tell them and I will unleash such wrath upon you. You know how it must be, Aithusa, for Albion. For Arthur._

The great head lowered and a wave of sadness hit him with such strength it took him a second to realise it had come from Aithusa. Stepping forward he leaned into her neck, inhaling her scent. _We are, both of us, the last of our kind._ The thought was so mingled he didn't know if it was his, or the dragon's.

#

The rain on the roof scattered his thoughts. Always it had calmed him, that steady drumming beat and the fresh scent of the droplets lingering on the window, but tonight his mind focused only on Morgause. He knew he could defeat Keliandra. Morgause though, she was on a different level, a priestess of the Old Religion, a skilled warrior. Morgana murmured where she lay nestled into his side on the sofa, her eyes flickering and her pulse increasing. Dreams again. He pressed a kiss into her hair and held her closer. Sleep smoothed her brow again and she quieted. No such luck for him. They would find Keliandra before they found Morgause, he was sure of it. And when they did, would it happen then? What if he threw himself in front of Keliandra's magic for Arthur, only to have Arthur die at the hands of Morgause? That was the problem with visions and prophecies; they never told you the whole story.

There was something he was missing in this whole thing. Something that would make it all make sense. He bit down on his frustration. Thunder sounded in the distance and he found himself counting the beats before the lightning struck far off. This was pointless, sleep was definitely not on the agenda tonight.

Gently extricating himself from under Morgana's he laid her head down carefully on a pillow and stood. He stretched and pulled his t shirt down from where it had ridden up. "Leoht' he murmured and a gentle glow grew over his outstretched hand. Giving the globe a little nudge upwards he watched with a smile as it rose to sit above his head. So many long years of hiding, of not using magic; this was a gift. Padding over to the shelf he pulled out a couple of books, almost at random. It wasn't like he had any idea of what he was looking for. Distraction. He was looking for distraction from the fact that he wanted to kill Morgause for what she had done to Morgana, to Arthur's family, to Camelot. The light hovered a bit lower as if reminding him that death was not what his magic was for.

He sat down on the rickety chair and spread the books out on the table. Page after page he flicked over and the rain slowed to intermittent loud drops. He didn't startle when Morgana laid a hand on his shoulder; he was always conscious of where she was.

"Can't sleep?"

She shook her head. "Bad dreams"

He was afraid to ask but she told him anyway. "Not about the past. At least, not about you. I dreamed of Morgause."

"Dream or vision?"

Her brows were drawn and she bit her lip. "I'm not sure. It could have been either. I didn't even get a good idea of where she was, just of her hate."

Her hand trembled against his shoulder and he reached up a hand to clasp it. "Was it just because of her hatred of Uther that she wanted to destroy Camelot?"

"That's all she told me of. To be honest I was so filled with hate of him myself that's probably all I would have heard."

He looked back down at the book. Gold embellished decorations bordered the now archaic writing. It was unlikely that answers would be found here. The secrets to Morgause's ambition lay locked within her skull.

Morgana's arms came around him from behind and she leaned over, resting her chin on his shoulder. "I am glad I no longer feel such hatred. It used to burn until I felt empty. In its place is such a contentment that I never thought to feel." Her kiss on his cheek made him smile through his fears. "Thank you."

He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her soft fingers. "Never thank me for loving you. It's just a part of me, like breathing. I can't help it."

He turned in the chair and pulled her into his lap. Her eyes were shining and he smiled as he caressed her cheek. "So beautiful. You make every part of me sing with happiness.' He kissed her as she smiled, his hand tightening on her waist as she leaned against him. Her hand crept to the back of his head and his lips went to her jaw. His heart hurt; how could he leave this behind? He kissed her lips again, gently, trying to get his breathing under control.

"You should sleep, Morgana. There's a lot to do tomorrow. Do you want me to make you some cocoa?"

A little smile played on her face and she bit her lip. "Trying to get rid of me already, Merlin?"

"Well", He hoped his own smile hid the pain inside, 'you are very distracting". He couldn't help it. He kissed her again. Her arms were tight around him and he let the moment spread through him like balm to his soul.

She pulled back slowly and then bent her forehead to his. "There's something about you, Merlin, you make me feel safe."

He closed his eyes to keep in the tears that threatened. "Glad I can help."

She leaned back and smiled into his eyes. "And, actually, that cocoa would be really nice. I can't remember the last time anyone made me cocoa"

"Ah well, I make the best cocoa, if I do say so myself. Go back to the sofa, I'll bring it in."

As the milk heated on the stove he stared out the kitchen window into the night, noticing every sound. The owl hooted softly and the soft scrape of the tree above on the roof seemed to scratch along his nerves. A laugh floated through the open window from the flat next door; the knights were clearly awake as well. His thoughts went back to the books on the table. There must be something in there. Something to find a way round it.

Kilgharrah's voice flickered into his memory: "Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion. None of us can choose our destiny Merlin, and none of us can escape it". He'd taken it at the time to mean that unless he didn't protect Arthur, stay at his side, then Arthur was doomed. At the battle of Camlan he thought he'd failed in his destiny. His hand went to his chin, rubbing absently at his beard. But it was all different now wasn't it? Arthur was the future king and the time of Albion was now. If he thought about his vision then this made perfect sense. Awful sense really but sense nonetheless. Without his sacrifice Arthur would not succeed. Without his sacrifice, there would be no Albion - Arthur would fall to the hands of those who would tear apart this nation to try and build a dictatorship from its ashes. That could not be allowed to happen.

He let his hands take over and he found some solace in the slow preparation of the cocoa. He hadn't been joking - he did make the best cocoa; 400 odd years since cocoa first made its way in the conquistador's ships to Europe had given him plenty of practice.

When he slipped back into the sitting room he saw Morgana, fast asleep on the sofa. He smiled and set the cup next to her. "Wearm" he whispered and with a flash of gold from his eyes he made sure the cocoa would stay warm no matter how long she slept.

With a sigh, he walked back to his books. Morgause might be a priestess of the old religion but she was not invincible. He'd fatally wounded her once before, it could happen again. He just had to find the answer.

His mind flicked back to his vision - it had definitely been Keliandra whose magic would have killed Arthur. He would fight Morgause with all that he had and trust that she would be gone before he sacrificed himself for Arthur. His eyes strayed back to Morgana, smiling in her sleep.

They couldn't know now, but maybe one day they should. He stood, making sure the chair didn't scrape on the floor, and walked through the silent house to his room of memories. He stood under his portrait of Arthur, noting the differences that time and experience had wrought on his memory. Slowly, he opened the book of letters. The pen was old and the nib was worn. He spent some time fixing it while he thought of what he wanted to say. Goodbyes were never easy.


End file.
